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April 24, 2008 |
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Bitch Bag
FOUND by J.D.
in Concord, California
Found outside my school. The heart at the end seems a little ironic.
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Loony Left February 03, 2008 |
Your Breath Stinks August 07, 2005 |
Cocaine November 27, 2007 |
 October 16, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
» We're hopping on a plane and jetting to Europe for our Fall 2008 Euro Tour!
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what exactly is a "bitch bag"? where can i get one?
I don't think that's a heart. I think it is someone's initial/signature. One wouldn't want the recipient to be in the dark about who exactly will be getting revenge.
Perhaps this bitch's bag was stolen...although it seems unusual to be angry at the bag rather than the thief....
I read it at first as "fuck your bitch bag" and I thought it was a new term for a certain part of the female anatomy that already has far more names than one orifice ever needed. Quite a funny one though.
I'm worried. Hope the bitch bag isn't me. But if it is, I'm ready for ya. Also you maybe should know I am going through a celebate period in my life. So I'd rather not do the first bit thanks.
Is a "bitch bag" the female equivalent of a "scum bag"?
Or is it something to carry your karma in?
Bitch bag makes me think of udders.
@Librarian, toting ones karma in ones bitch bag makes all the sense in the world to me. But, does it come with matching shoes?
This is from one damn angry pretzel...
Is's so sad that the Angry Pretzel lost his/her Bitch Bag. I do hope they did, indeed, get it back.
angry pretzel is my new band name.
@ LIBRARIAN- Great point!!!!
I am agreeing with what you said!!!
Also, if the shoes fit, then make sure they match the "Bitch bag"!
Darcy, if Angry Pretzel doesn't work, you should try FrogStar.
good idea, Pamplona! it is now on my list.
Sounds more like a vengeful pretzel to me: Maybe it's bitch bag ran away with the "collector" 20?
Doesn't "Frogstar and Angry Pretzel" sound like a bob Dylan song title?
@Coffee intravenous, perhaps bitch bags cost $20?
Karma's gonna get the vengeful pretzel. No worries.
Darcy, first i thought you wrote "angry pretzel is my new bRand name." Which is also good. But band name is better. Rock on!
as if Found hasn't been hostile enough for the past few days.. karma, revenge, threats...
Gotta Love It.
@Freonz: It probably depends on the craftsmanship. But who would want a shoddily made bitch bag? That would be asking for trouble.
I think someone wrote this after a rival stole their most coveted prada bag. Considering this was found outside a school the bag may have been borrowed from an older sibling or parent. The girl thought it would be cool to tote around such expensive eye-candy but towards the end of the day she was chagrined to discover that eye candy can be a pain in ass to tote around...that is...UNTIL SOMEONE STEALS IT! Contemplating her options during her last class, she isn't sure who the culprit is and anxiety gets the best of her. Instead of taking notes she finds herself silently cursing the bag, "Fuck You Bitch Bag, I'll get you back!"
I don't think this note is hostile, I think it's from one friend to another. My friends and I used to call each other names like that all the time.
Otherwise, a bitch bag sounds like an awesome fashion accessory. It seems like it might go good with hooker boots.
Or, here's an idea, geared towards men, maybe it's for car trips. The bitch bag contains everything you need to shut the bitch up--chocolate, toilet paper, mix tape, a map....duct tape and a length of rope...
What?
I carry little girl puppies in mine.
LOL @ Terrie!! You've been watching too many episodes of Criminal Minds or CSI.
ahahahhah!!! angry pretzel. i loves it.
maybe a bitch bag is like a ho bag?
who knows...
Current contents of my bitch bag:
ID
Credit card
cell phone
$6.78
Phone number for Stuart D. (who in hell is that?)
book: Midwives by Chris Bohjalian
Journal
Grocery store shopping list on back of bar napkin
Advil
lighter
Electric bill - oops, I supposed to mail that
Burt's Bee lip gloss
hahaha Terrie your post was very funny!
I agree that it's written from one friend to another. We used to have "insult wars" where we'd joke around w/ sarcastic comments and witty comebacks. That is, until one friend's mom thought it was "unhealthy" and demanded us all to stop. *sigh* being a teenager...
I think the writer of this note at first meant to write B**** Hag, but changed it and went for Bag because, well, alliteration is so much fun : D
Great idea Nadine!
My bitch bag contains:
wallet
over-sized sunglasses
cell phone
keys
Burt's Bees lip gloss (in the tub)
bright orange tampon holder w/ tampons
change and gum wrappers in the bottom
Such angry finds today!! Bag might just be an insult on its own... My friends used to call each other that when they were being bitches... "quelle bag!"
I thought it was an infinity symbol scrawled in anger. Bitch bags and angry pretzels..... today is a good day.
My bitch bag includes:
A wallet full of varies phrases all with "f*ck you" included.
"everything I say is right, your wrong" lip gloss
a bag of "do you think I'm fat" chocolate
"I'm better then you" hair spray.
"I do everything, you do nothing" lotion
"My grammar is always right" dictionary
and something that I just picked up yesterday
my Passive aggressive how to book
A bitch bag is one carried by any Bitch Queen From Hell...no, not a homophobic slur, but a description of any female who is impossible, demanding, agressive and loud--and spends a lot of her time complaining about how she can't keep her man in line (while none of her unwilling audience has any problems understanding why that is.)
Contents of the usual bitch bag:
Purse-sized designer dog
Clove flavoured cigarettes in an ugly but expensive case
Fashion sunglasses (unless they're perched on the top of her "do")
Keys to her ex's roadster, which she got in the divorce/breakup
Expensive eyeshadow in hideous colours
Eyebrow pencil, dulled from writing notes with it
Top of the line cellphone with irritating ringtone
oh my god- BITCH BAG . . . that's great. I wish i had that term in high school, i could have used it quite a lot.
What a great term.
lipgloss, glasses, cell phone, tampons, Kleenex, wallet, keys, checkbook, library book, chocolate, gum, bills, hubby's wallet, hubby's keys and glasses, kid's homework, teacher's note, brush, pens, lint, mace, umbrella, candy wrappers, address book, notepad, birthday card, bottle of water...500$
one session with the chiropractor...100$
having one's bitch bag at all times...priceless
@turbo right on
I usually make up names for people that make no sense, but I have never thought of this one. I will begin using it immediately...
I agree, Tired. Bitch bag is an awesome term! It reminds me of the endless list of other such one-liner expletives from the '80s...
douche-bag
wuss-bag
fag-hag
gag-me
gag me with a spoon
gag me with a pitchfork
on the rag
Betty
Zelda
Bitchin'
Grody
Grody to the max
"omigawd" (valley girl)
and of course.."Wizard!" LOL
Lizzy B -- fag-hag has always been on my top picks. i love that term. ad grody.
@ Lizzy B. Are you a Frank Zappa fan by any chance?
Contents of my bitch-bag.....
1 bottle of patchouli oil
needle and thread
swiss army knife
spare shirt
squashed banana stuck onto a ripe orange
nalgene bottle of vodka
extra keys
Charles Darwin's "Origin Of The Species"
Ready for a Phish show I guess........
I plan to use the phrase bitch bag from now on.......then we will all know how to identify the fellow FOUNDers.
"Bitch Bag" IS one of the best things I've heard in a while! Also, it's funny how you can learn about a person by the contents of her bitch bag.....
@Lizzy B--don't forget my personal 80's favourite: "Gross me dead!"
@ LIZZY- Grody to the Max!! LOL!!
@ INDY- FANTASTIC!!!!
My BITCH BAG contents:
Celly (pink RAZR)with BLACK BETTY ringtone
Make-up bag
Wallet
Bottle of Dolce and Gabbana LIGHT BLUE perfume
GUCCI oversized sunglasses
Wrigley's Double mint gum
Big Red gum
Nail file
Lip gloss and Lip pouter
Pen
Pad
Address book
Mini calendar
Tons of change:Loonies and Toonies
$285 dollars
2 CC
and finally....
My keys
Oh, I want to play.
what's in my bitch bag?
cell phone-ringtone is the murder music from "Psycho"
7 pens
3 crayons from Denny's
a receipt from Dollar Tree for:
chocolate stars
headbands
aquafina
a receipt from taco bell for:
a steak quesadilla.
a receipt from the dentist's office
2 receipts from chevron for gas
burt's bees beeswax lip balm
lip gloss "candied apple"
an emory board
hand sanitizer
an empty packet of advil liquigels
an unopened packet of liquigels
two Commit lozenges (I quit smoking 4 1/2 years ago)
2 loose allergy pills
an expired coupon for Kotex $2.00 off
stress mints
4 barrettes
one hair elastic
a bracelet I made out of shells and beads
a tiny flashlight
wallet
checkbook
change purse
a mini composition book: the first part has Deepak Chopra affirmations from one of his books,
the next part has law of attraction summaries for The Secret book. No, I didn't have written permission either. Folded up inside is the prayer from Rob Brezsny's website, freewillastrology.
a mini spiral notebook:
little drawings and doodles from my kids, (I used to give them this notebook when we out and they were bored--to entertain themselves). Some random phone numbers. Math probably from grocery shopping.
It's a little bitch bag, you can't fit clothes, fruit, or booze into it.
Basil: Where can I get one of those? I'd sell most of the stuff and change the ringtone, but it'd be nice to have that stuff to sell. :P
I don't have a bitch bag. I'm actually shopping for one, as most of my stuff over the winter ended up in my coat pockets or the baby's diaper bag.
<sigh> okay, I feel almost obligated to play before this thread dies out..
Contents of my <er> b***ch bag:
wallet
keys to a volvo, a pickup, and a mini van
two cell phones (one is for work)
a mini version of my entire medicine cabinet
small makeup bag
two pantishields and a maxi pad
Burt's Bees peppermint lip balm (in the tube)
Curel hand lotion
Hand sanitizer (i'm a nurse..trust me, you should carry this stuff!!)
Spiral Date book
Checkbook
pictures of my family
hair pick, wide tooth comb (I have unruly hair)
packet of baby wipes (I also have unruly kids)
empty pack of Orbitz wintermint gum
calculator
four pens, a sharpie, two highlighters, and
a wite-out pen
eyeglasses, sunglasses
Persa-gel zit cream
current things to do list
notepad
various other misc. unimportant mish mosh
I should note that my b**ch bag weighs in at
approx. 25 lbs., and even though I purchased it on sale at a fine dept. store, the well-sewn straps are breaking! LOL
Going to eat some more mutton stew now...gonna be another hot one today!!
In my Bitch bag:
unpaid bills
cell phone
pony tail holders
checkbook
Vicoden
Xanax
bubble gum
body spray (to get rid of pot smell) lol
change
I think this thread is overwhelming unscientific proof that Burt's Bees is a must for your bitch bag.
i'm from concord CA and very curious as to what school this note was found at.....i'm sure i either attended that school or know of it!
I have 2 kinds of Burt's Bees in my bitch bag!
Maybe "Bitch Bag" is the new "Hoe Bag"?
I have two kinds of Burt's Bees in my bitch bag as well! Original and Pomegranate, both in tubes.
Krista, I find I don't like the pomegranate one as well as the good ol' original in a tube. Also, the honey kind sucks! It's very gritty. This concludes my review of Burt's Bees products.