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October 28, 2008 |
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Amoeba
FOUND by Kyle Kastraba
in Caro, Michigan
I found this Post-it note on the sidewalk outside of the building where I work. I spent the better part of my day trying to figure out which one of my coworkers wrote it, and whose back they stuck it on.
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The Nap June 16, 2005 |
Hand in Mouth January 02, 2006 |
Stupid x3 November 04, 2006 |
AJS April 01, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I'd like to add "verbally challenged" to that list.
All the clues should be there. Someone short, asexual, essentially brainless (that one cell is devoted to things more important than thinking) angry (understandably), and likely to divide in two at any minute.
Narrow it down?
Interesting that the note writer (or some other editor) fixed 'disturbed' and the second 'challenged' but not the first 'challenged'. Maybe this particular editor will let one typo (write-o?) slide, but then has to fix the rest.
How big was the actual note? We assume it's a standard yellow sticky, but if it was really, really small it could have been written by a paramecium and stuck on the back of a euglena. Those wacky paramecia!
sounds like the first draft for a singles ad.
I say throw in "likes long walks on the beach" and it's ready for print!
I hesitate to think of what "disturded" might mean. Does it involve vacuum equipment?
I like the way the i in "vertically" is reduced to its bare essence, a dot.
Hmmm...looks like someone had a most unsatisfactory first date with the "amoeba" who, she discovered, is mentally without form and void, eats like an amoeba (basically surrounding and absorbing anything edible within reach) and has erectile dysfunction disorder. *That's* what she means by "vertically challenged"--he can't get it up. As for "mentally disturbed", that refers to the activities he wanted her to engage in to help him conquer the challenge.
She's just trying to warn other possible candidates for his attention. Public spirited girl.
Ahahahaha!! SICK IN TIRED has said it all!
I like how they were trying to be politically correct. Always dancing around. Just couldn't come out and say he/she is a retarded, crazy, lower for of life, midget.
(Kyle man... I believe this fell off your own back look no further.)
No, no, no. These are clearly notes from that resume enhancement workshop that the HR department had everyone go to. You remember, it started with "write down all your strengths".
The PC-ness of this note is intriguing...
....in bed
Where can I find this guy/girl! They seem entertaining!
Kyle, I admire your work ethic.
Me?
How do amoebas communicate?
By cell phone, of course.
(Sorry, that's all I got.)
It's funny, but that was the name of my first band.
your co-workers are middle-school students?
this note describes how i feel before the morning's first cup of coffee.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA i just laughed out loud in the libe.....omg
These are 3 positive things; vertically challenge emotionally means "go on, rise to the challenge, fall in love! Develop yourself". Disturbed mental challenge is where you have to do all sorts of difficult tasks, like long division, while people throw soft toys at you, and flash and stuff. And amoebas are one of the first forms of life, that's got to be pretty cool. I think whoever wrote this really admires the person, and wants to stretch them to their full potential.
Careful, Effie! You stretch that little amoeba guy too far and you'll have a couple of them on your hands.
LOL Librarian! As in "all over your hands".
And thanks for teaching me about 420. Now that dern spam question is a breeze.
LOL @ Joh(n) good one. (seems like it should've been followed by "nyuk nyuk" or something.)
Hey, Flargy! You just made my Day! Thanks!!!
:-D
What did one bacteria say to the other bacteria?
-The trouble with your gene pool is there's no Lifeguard.
Why did the amoeba cross the road?
-It was time to split.
Why do bacteria like Nitrates so much?
-They're cheaper than day rates.
What is the only thing worse than a Mecium?
-A Paramecium.
did it initially say emotionally disturtled?
Uh, Kyle, if you haven't figured out yet who the note was posted on, it's you.
Recipient sounds like a catch...where do I sign up?
hahahahahaha
this is so much funnier, knowing personally the possible candidates. I have a few good guesses.. ha.
Vertically Challenged, Emotionally Disturbed, Mentally Challenged Amoeba
Which makes such slime eternal,
Reality is a staircase leading nowhere.
Mashed potatoes, where's the gravy baby?