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August 07, 2008 |
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The Mystery of Andre
FOUND by Adam Abrams
in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
A business plan for some kind of massage/escort service someone was planning was intriguing enough, but the reverse side provided the real chuckle.
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April of '74 April 21, 2002 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Oh, I like this FIND! It's very intriging! Do tell us, Andre...how do you have all this money when only being able to work 3 days a week??
Sugar Daddy or Mama? Or, how much drugs are you pushing and what aount of cashola is it bringing in for you?
In my experience, the more money people have, the more they "cry poor." The truly poor are too busy surviving to talk about it. For them, poverty is a fact, and often an embarassing one. The less said about it, the better.
As far as André's sources of income, what is that their business? As long as he's not creating problems and does his work well, poormouthing is nothing new. It's not like massage/escort services are squeaky clean. To corn a phrase.
Please excuse Andre from any work responsibilities in excess of 3 days; and please try to make those days non-consecutive. I need him fresh.
--Andre's Sugar Daddy
Maybe Andre actually IS poor. After all, he only works 3 days a week.
I think Andre just doesn't like to work, but he likes to have money.
"Oh poor me, I never have money. Work??! Screw that. I worked three days already this week!"
"other job" "sugar daddy" "drug dealing"
all possibilities, but I think you're missing the most obvious possibility of why Andre only works three days a week.
He's a pirate.
and only works the 3 days a week still because he's not ready to go pro yet
well I say go for it Andre! chase your dream and become a full time pirate. if it doesn't work out you can always get a sugar daddy.
Avast ye scurvy dog!!
Maybe Andre has a child to take care of, and splits babysitting responsibilities with the baby's mama the rest of the week. That would answer both questions-- why he's poor, and why he can only work three days.
What happened to Andre?
I need a Sugar Mama.
Mona, would you be willing?
alan, i got lots of sugar for ya.
The first time I read this I thought the writer was leaving instructions to an underling. If he was writing it for himself wouldn't he just write, "What's the deal with Andre?" or something? I generally don't leave myself such detailed reminders.
I like this person's handwriting!
@Farmer-You know how you can tell when an Andre is fresh? Either squeeze him gently in the middle or thump on his head a few times.
More lyrics...
"My friend don't have to work if he don't wanna
Sugar mama, sugar mama
He stays out at late at night till the sunshine comes
Sugar mama, sugar mama
He used to be depressed nearly a suicider
Now my buddy, he's a real free rider
Sugar mama, sugar mama"
Aren't sugar mamas called cougars now?
Maybe pharmaceutical drug sales? Nawww.
I vote for Sugar Daddy. Makes for a much more interesting story.
Maybe he had a side job on "the brute squad"?
(Remember 'Andre the Giant'?)
http://www.andrethegiant.com/
here we go with Ryan again.
http://foundmagazine.com/find/2510
@Feeling: Cougars? Really? Why am I not hip to this? I've played mini-sugar mama (i.e. I've dated a few who, like Andre, are allergic to full-time employment) on occasion, but I've never been called a "cougar."
I've been thinking about how much easier life would be if only I had a benefactor. I'm stuck working 3 days a week with lack of work right now, be nice to be able to afford my days off!((or grad school for my next degree!)
I think the term "cougars" refers to the older woman with a younger boy-toy. Not sure on the age cut-off for either, but I believe I would definately be considered one, that is, if I dated a younger guy. Which I would not. I trained one, I'm sticking with him.
you're only a cougar if you're older.
Librarian would you like to weigh in on this? You seem to be the expert on language.
I always understood that a "Sugar Daddy" is an older man supporting (financially or otherwise) a younger woman. So logically, it reasons that a "Sugar Mama" would be older woman supporting a younger man.
Is that not a cougar? Or is a cougar's motivation only sexual? What is the male equivalent of a "cougar"? Lecherous old man"? Pervert?
So 'Not just another mouth', I guess it depnds on your intentions and age difference with your impoverished dates as to weather you are a cougar or not.
the cougar's intent is mostly sexual. There may be some.. perks and benefits for the younger dude, but the cougar's in it for the hot, wild, randy sexxxx.
.
.
.
.
Or so I'm told.
I believe (not from personal knowledge) that, while the cougar is in it for the sex, she does finance her boytoy's way of life. You know, silk shirts, jewellery, fast car. I can't afford the way i live, let alone paying for a boytoy.
So Mona...
That leads back to my original comment that seemed to have offended 'Not just another mouth'. Is a 'Sugar Mama' the same thing as a 'cougar'?
This is just linguistic semantics, mind you, not moral judgment.
Hmmm, well, having never heard the term "cougar" (I don't get out much), I've had to dig around a little to see what I could find.
I'm more interested in word origins, actually, and I'm guessing that "cougar" (as defined here) came from some smart-wad television writer. Doesn't this term just reek of a "Sex and the City" patois?
Real cougars are fast, ergo a 'fast woman' could also be a cougar. And it does seem to mean an older woman ON THE PROWL, although why it wouldn't apply to a younger woman who is 'fast' and on the prowl is beyond me. (cf. individual parts and activities of women referred to with feline circumlocutions)
"Sugar mama" would rightly seem to be the female version of a "sugar daddy." But the latter term is itself pretty well-worn (as are the men it applies to) and I'm guessing those folks who coin new terms wanted something more recent than the Eisenhower administration.
My sense is that a 'sugar mama' would be looking for a longer term relationship, while a 'cougar' isn't looking past the morning -- if that far.
[can I put this down as a library reference question?]
You made me look up a word!
circumlocutions is "The use of unnecessarily wordy and indirect language". I'm not sure how that applies here.
And yes you can put this down as a library reference question.
And I've never seen "Sex and the City".. The characters strike me as being narcissistic and superficial.
I suppose his alleged inability to pay for the gym clothes falls under the category of "crying poor."
My friend Richard once told me that there are three stages of being a gay man. He should know, as he is a gay man. He told me that you start out as the HOT YOUNG THANG, go through a dark period called the BAR TROLL, and end up happily, as a SUGAR DADDY. He says some never transcend to SUGAR DADDY status and remain a BAR TROLL forever.
i believe, yes, a sugar mama is the same as a cougar. or at least, a cougar is the female equivalent of a sugar daddy, but of course, with more negative connotations, as are all indications that women are just as sexual as men.
@Feeling: My intentions are nearly always good (oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood) and my financially insolvent dates were always about my age (give or take a year or two). And ever shall be.
Mona, what exactly are you implying? Are you trying to suggest that we women are sexual beings? What kind of pernicious slander are you perpetuating here?
Why would one need to update an application? Is Ryan reapplying?
@ Feeling incoherant: How could the characters of Sex and the City strike you as narcissistic and superficial if you've never seen the show???
cougars hunt their prey.
Am I the only one who wants to see the business plan for the massage/escort service?!
@Lucky: What's the deal with Andre?
I totally had a Fashion Runway flashback, thinking about Tim Gunn and Andre...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUlfkbhhh3c
(about 30 seconds in...)
Nightingale, maybe Feeling Incoherant says that because the title "Sex and the City" has narcissitic and superficial connotations. I've never seen the show either, but I have the same impression. Is it not like that? I'm willing to admit I could be wrong.. but if it is selfless and has depth, why didn't they name it something else?
@ call me Rita:
may I direct your attention to
http://foundmagazine.com/comments/5666
.. about 23 comments in. (demerits in gym class)
Great Minds think alike, eh?
(000hhh 5666: the Find of the beast?)
My vote is that Andre is running weed around. I just read an article in the New Yorker about the prolific marijuana industry, providing for those card-carrying customers. Really..they make big bucks and working 3 days a week sounds about right.
http://www.newyorker.com/online/2008/07/28/080
I can't believe I'm about to put my two-cents into this debate, and it's probably a bit late anyway. but here goes...
to my understanding a "cougar" is a step above "MILF"(Mother I'd Like to F***), in age. and that a cougar is generally the sexual aggressor(thus the predatory name). so basically a mature woman who's desirable and still "on the prowl".
whether she "takes care" of her toys or not just depends on how nice a cougar she is I guess.
@not just another mouth
so, you've played the role of "mini-sugar mama" before?
...are you single? I'm a bargain really, just throw me some banana's and I'm yours
*wink wink*
I thought cougars were in it for the tea and sympathy...
@Clover: "Sex and the City" is the title of the main character's newspaper column. In the show, she writes about life and love for single women in New York City. Her columns attempt to answer soul-searching questions that single women in the big city might presumably be asking. The show is about 4 best friends and their relationships. It's funny and cute, in a chick flick TV kind of way. Not earthshaking or going to change anyone's lives. Obviously there are those who might like it and those who don't. I was just questioning someone's judgenment of characters on a show they'd never seen. That's all. And no offense meant to "Feeling incoherent". 8-)
@ Nitght in Gale... No offense taken. Clover is right about the title. I've also seen commercials and movie trailers for it. While this is no way to really judge a TV show, it does give a sense of it. I said that the characters "struck me" as narcissistic and superficial. I thought the words "struck me" implied that it was a first impression. Perhaps the movie trailers only make them seem that way, and they have greater depth, but why would you market your show's characters to seem so self centered if they are not.
@ Monkey... When I hear the word "cougar", I think of the "pool boy" sketches from Mad TV.
Just creepy!
I've been instructed to NOT watch the movie. EVER. For any reason.
I enjoyed the show, but yeah, the characters can lean toward the shallow, selfish, and materialistic end. Just like regular people, I suppose.
One of my favorite scenes in a movie is from (the Chick Flick) In Her Shoes, when the hip young chick finds out that her Grandmother and all her G-ma's friends make an evening of drinking cosmos and watching Sex in the City every week. It was one of those true to life kind of scenes, where sometimes, when the moon is just right and the stars are in alignment, you might just be able to find some common ground where you'd always assumed that there was none.
This all seems beside the point. A cougar doesn't use the services of an escort service; there's no prowling involved.
http://foundmagazine.com/find/835
It's not the escort Find I was trying to find, though- anyone else remember the ebony/hardwood/mahogany dude?
I searched all of those above words, as well as escort, prostitute, prostitution, wood, woody.. NOTHING. Anyone?
@Cherry, the search function of Found doesn't work very well. Since the Finds at the bottom of the page change every time you go forward or back, I didn't catch the title of an interesting looking cartoon find (four colours, not just a doodle.) I tried searching "cartoon" and got zilch.
And if you search by date (as often the 2nd Find of the Day doesn't appear when using the Prev/Next button EITHER), you'll get a handful of dates that in absolutely no way resemble the one you typed in.
RE: this particular Find, I think I would have found the front of it just as interesting as the back. Personally I've never organised a massage/escort service but I'm willing to learn.
And I'm not even a cougar.
@I Like Sex and the City.. it doesn't sound like a show I would like, and I haven't seen In Her Shoes, but this part of your comment made me think of Foundmagazine: "... where sometimes, when the moon is just right and the stars are in alignment, you might just be able to find some common ground where you'd always assumed that there was none." Which is why I DO love Foundmagazine!
Sick in tired.. I use the Found search function a LOT and I have to say, this is the first time I've ever come up.. empty. I seriously always find the Find I'm looking for. This is a new oddity for me.
the search by date function is something I've been hoping for (and pestering about) for a long time. I don't think there actually IS such a thing yet. When I have more time, I'll have to wade thru the Finds one by one until I find that one again.. it's a true treasure.
Cherry, I found it!
http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/3636
Title "Coppertone"
Searchword "Haiti"
I searched and searched. Then I walked away. When I came back I tried to think where he would've been from to be ebony/hardwood/mahogany. That's when Haiti came to mind.
Yes! Thank you, Ling HI! You should be promoted to Super Agent or something!