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July 18, 2008 |
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Good Fruit and Secrets
FOUND by Jonni Lu
in Santa Fe, New Mexico
Found in the parking lot of a Sam's Club. I don't know why oranges don't come under the heading of "good fruits," and I haven't yet been able to find the "secrets" department in our Sam's. But in Santa Fe, anything is possible.
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Morning Wishes August 23, 2006 |
Latest Find June 29, 2006 |
Sardine Parking Job October 24, 2006 |
Yellow Dress November 10, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
first of all, change the Y to I and add ES.
Secondly, what the heck are "ranch style beans"???
I'm glad she's gonna get GOOD chips this time. I hate those crappy chips she's been getting lately.
Chips Ahoy are number ONE on the list. As they should be.
What kind of animal does sandwichmeat come from? And why don't apples come under the good fruit heading either?
Alvacados make righteous gualcamoly!
Holy Gualcamoly!
sandwichmeat contains chickenlips and turkeytits. that's what sandwichmeat is made of.
I'm with you Clover... why "apples" didn't made it to the "good fruit" category o_O;
I think it's the list of someone who is definitly trying to eat more healty. I see the "Good Chip" as some kind of "bake-corn-something-something-30%-less-salt-0 ... the "good chip" not good in taste (god no) but "good for you" or so they want to make you belive.
Someone is on a diet. All hell will break loose. My sympathy to her BF ~ (this is, for me, definitly a woman's list)
I wish i knew what the "secret soup" is all about ~
30% - less - salt - 0 - trans-fat - added - Omega3 ... **
My word was too long and it got cut !! Sorry!!
Ranch-style beans either come with a lasso and a folksy accent or are flavored with salad dressing.
My hopes are for the former.
And why aren't the *forever popular, full of Vitamin C and an antioxidant* strawberries under the *Good Fruits* list, either???
But, this author will buy fruit snacks? What, like *Fruit By The Foot* or *Fruit leather*?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
SHEESH!
@ YES!- Chicken-lips and Turket-tits!!!
AHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me know, now I won't be orsering *SUBWAY* for lunch today!
*ordering*
GAWD!
...and you sure don't want to be buying BAD chips to go with your alvacado.
Upgurt?
Lipton Soup Secrets: not so mysterious once you know how to use Google:
http://www.amazon.com/Lipton-Secrets-Noodle-Ch
Is this Mom's shopping list for yesterday's New Years Resolutions?
Chips ahoy! Follow me, good chips! Brave men, good fruits and true!
We advance into battle with loins upgurt!
We'll winkle those soup secrets out of the enemy, or turn them into sandwichmeat!
Arharr!!
ew, sam's club.
Al Vocado's Fabulous Fruit Market
"We only sell the *good* stuff."
CHiPS annoy... personally, I always liked Ponch and John.
"On the gooood chip... lollipop"
I wonder why she only coolified two of her A's: at the beginning of apples and alvacado. The rest of them are just boring little A's. If that's her way of capitalizing the letter A, then why not capitalize Ahoy?
There are WAY too many hilarious comments today to acknowledge them all. Suffice it to say that my dreams will be haunted by chickenlips, turkeytits, lasso-wielding beans and winkling pirates.
And if Soup Secrets is anywhere near as bad as the box of Salad Secrets my mom gave me, it does not belong on this list of good food.
Love the Finders name: Jonni Lu.
sandwich meat=lunch meat=gr.meat=spam=potted meat=vienna sausages
but clearly on the path to becoming "foodie enlightened" thus the shrimp, alvacodos (a step up from tilapia) yogurt, rice cakes..hell, any day now, she'll be discovering mangos and that pimento cheese spread
Alright, alright--being in Texas and working about a mile away from the Ranch Style Bean factory, I will explain: Ranch Style Beans are a trademarked name for beans in a can that are similar to pinto beans. They come in different flavors (like with onions or jalapenos) and are pretty yummy with a big ole' slab of cornbread! *stomach growling*
I love alvacados with my sandwichmeats (provided it is kosher sandwichmeats...turkey-tits, chicken-lips are fine, but no pork-snouts, or bottom-feeding-blood-suckers).
all hell break loose footloose footloose
Isn't 'good chips' an oxymoron?
My 7th grade math teacher Mr. Brown would have had a riot with the finder's name. He had this game were he would reverse the beginning letters of students first names to their last names and vice versa. He got a real kick out of ones that sounded mildly naughty or at lthe very least interesting in some way. For example Lori Quickel became Quori Lickel. My personal favorite was Man Sticklevitz.
Sadly this game did not work for my name because the sounds of the letters of both my first and last name are the same. So I was -- ONCE AGAIN --left out of the fun stuff at an important age in emotional development and am probably damaged for life as a result.
Anyway try it with your own name and it might be fun.
Tome Chroaster?
Gight In Nale?
Darmer in the Fell?
Holly--you'll have to sit this one out.
Ball Smear (pronounced SMARE, natch)
Lover in the Clawn?
Lona Misa?
I think you get it...
I feel that apples, strawberries, and oranges should all fall under the "good fruit" heading. And if you are getting all that fruit... why would you then need fruit snacks? Eat the real fruit, thats why you bought it, and it's a whole heck of a lot better for you than fruit snacks.
Maybe it was the whole Eve and the forbidden fruit incident that took apples off of the "good fruit" list. The other fruits that were listed must be on the "sinful fruit" list.
I wonder which chips are good and which chips are sinful.
sam's club, ew yuck! although I once ate like this too, minus the shrimp and sandwichmeat, being a vegetarian, or anything hydrogenized..but gardening and supporting local farmers is much better for your health!
@ JONATHAN- Your brief, yet explaintitive(<-sp?) story (and words!) gave me my inspiration and motivation for the day...Thanks, buddie!
@ FARMER- That's the best, damn name for a Fruit & Veggie Stand or Store!!! Remarkable thinking! Imagine, a mobster, changing his name and opening a business as a front, of course. Fantastic!!
@ MLM- Oh...no frickin' fair!! :o( I've NEVER seen those types of beans sold here in Toronto, Canada. I loathe that...sometimes the foods that I want or love, we can't get them here. It really ticks me off! However, the cornbread is a whole other story! My Grandma has a great recipe! Now I'm already thinking of dinner???? It's only 1:35pm...LOL!
@ HERE FOR BRIEF- Again, NO FAIR, damn-it!! It looks as though I'm sitting out with you or by myself...:o(
A g/f of mine once told me that to see what your *stripper-name* would be is to use your 1st name and add your Street name for your last name.
So, here's mine, *Holly Bayhampton*...UMMM? Doesn't sound too sexy to me.! LOL!
Ok Brief Visit person up there, funny name game, but contrary to Ball Smear's story, my last name is not Gale. My full name is Nightingale Tailfeather.
CAUTION: Be wary of food-like products with either "secret" or "mystery" in their name.
Anyone else think "Holly" has replaced the immortal SALT as the most annoying, irrelevant, and lonely waste of time on this site? PS.....Go Ball Smear, GO!!!!
So I guess it's Tightingale Nailfeather?
I'm not sure if I like Ball Smear or Ball Smear (smare) better. I think Ball Smear (not smare) is winning.
The best fruits are: pineapples, strawberries (in season) tomatoes (yes, they are a fruit), satsuma mandarin oranges, and muscat grapes. Period. EAT SOME! Mmmmmmm....vitamins.
They probably meant the throat lozenges, Sucrets or whatever.
Holly--your stripper name is derived from the name of your first pet and the name of the street you lived on as a child.
Hence I am Mitzi Summit. Can anyone top that? (Pun intended, natch.)
I think alvocados are fruits, too.
Well, my stripper name is Betty 31st Street. Not so good.
Alva Cado was the name of my childhood babysitter. *sigh* I learned a lot from that lady.
Pance Lants. Lance Pants. Same difference.
My stripper name is Zipper Frontage.
Again: See my comment from yesterday and from the 'Bullshit' Find, regarding my thoughts on this Find.
"Hi, my name is Al Vacado. Nice to meet you."
I can't top Mitzi Summit--my stripper name was Sputter Merriman, but my husband's stripper name was...wait for it...PERKY TANGLEWOOD.
And that, dear friends, beats them all.
Thank you, thank you! Don't forget to tip your waitress!
Nurse Trixie is my stripper name.
(Bills???)
This handwriting drives me bananas - mmmmm bananas are a good fruit.
Tomatos, peppers and cucumbers are technically fruits too because they have seeds...just FYI
I kinda like "Tightingale" ...it seems kinky
oh, and my stripper name would be Max 92nd...but going by a nearby cross-street it would be Max Division...which...well...
@Max 92nd: (Not kinky. Just really good.)
Avocado IS A FRUIT TOO ! So I am sad that IT did NOT make the GOOD FRUITS category ! More, offended, she wrote "Good Fruits" right AFTER the thought of Avocados ! Sheesh.
alvocados..nummy...nummy.
luv,
Jolie Dingletown
Max 92nd sounds the name of a robot.
My stripper name is Taffy Cantrell. I can live with that.
Now I've got something to keep me occupied at work tomorrow, thanks guys!
The finder of this comment is clearly being willfully obtuse when he/she pretends to think that "soup" and "secrets" are discrete items on the list, rather than the obvious fact that they are linked.
Geeze, I can't even finish reading these comments.. too funny! Laughing too hard! Zipper Frontage. Hahaha!
My sister's is Topsy St. Helens.
Okay, did anyone know that alvacadoes and bannanas and melons and latex are all related, so that if one were allergic to latex he or she (read, me!) would be unable to ingest either/any of them, and many, many other good fruits/vegetables. It sucks folks. Not only am I unable to have guacamole, but no barrier methods for me!
My stripper name? It sucks... Scooter Tilford. Ouch!
Even worse, my daughter's stripper name? Nugget Viking Mountain! Someone call DCS, I just formulated my daughter's stripper name.
LOL!
My stripper name would be Taffy Voorhis. That's pretty hot. I always thought my stripper name would be Poinsetta Loretta, but Taffy Voorhis will work too.
I wonder how Chips Ahoy made it to the healthy food list?
Ranch Style Beans are awesome.
@brain problem situation.. My daughter's is Vanilla Kincaid.
Your 7th grade math teacher reverse name could be sain problem brituation. Sain Brituation if you leave out the middle name. Sain P. Brituation.
Holly, I was thinking that if you wanna join the game you could be Holly the Tomemaker in Horonto.
I used to work at a restaurant where they put "secret sauce" on their hamburgers. It was really 1000 Island Dressing. Big secret!
Mine is "Baby Nimrod"--worst stripper name ever. I'm very jealous of "Zipper Frontage." My poor daughter would be "Monkey Thomas."
I believe the author of the list is referring to a product called "Soup Secrets" by Lipton. They are packets of dried soup mix than are blended with hot water to make a cup of soup for lunch or a snack. Sounds like this person probably works some type of office job, and is stocking up on healthy foods to bring in her bag lunch. LOL can't help but notice that the Chips Ahoy are right at the top of the list! Gotta have something to balance out all the healthy stuff and satisfy those sweet cravings!
Did anyone think that "Secrets" may mean deodorant? I know at Sam's Club you can buy a package of 3 Secret deodorants for about $10. Maybe the writer wanted some "Secrets"?
I know I haven't commented in a while. I have been quite voyeuristic lately...
Though, when I saw the "mitzi-summit-can-you-top-that?" comment, I thought to myself, "No... No, i can't top that... but i know someone who can!"
And that's really the only reason I'm commenting. To tell you that I have a guy friend whose porn name (we call the pet name/street adderess combination a porn name as opposed to a stripper alias..) is - get this - CHESTER LONGWOOD!
It's almost too good to be true.
Bit it's true, people.
It's oh so true.
...Oh..and mine isn't too bad either.. Sabrina Goldenleaf...
Meh..could be better..
My boyfriend's is Honey Olympia.
Not too shabby...
Perhaps 'Soup Secrets' is one item. I think that is some brand of soup mix. This person needs to add peanut butter to this list.
I live blocks from Ranch Style bean factory too..suprisingly doesn't smell like flatulance
Wily Hills. Not bad.
Back to the 7th grade math teacher's name game. I guess Curious Kat doesn't get to play either! That is sad. But.. here's a thought.. maybe Holly the Tomemaker in Horonto makes tomes like, for example, Tome Chroaster.
Chips Ahoy is Johnny Depp's stripper name.
"Secrets" are tampons, just in case someone finds my shopping list.
My "secrets" are "girly things".. just in case anyone finds MY shopping list.
Coco Greenwood, the amazing Jewish stripper! (Or, Coco Rising Hill, which may be more appropriate, given I would be a stripper, right?)
Having lived my entire life in Milwaukee, I had never heard of a ranch style bean either until I moved to Texas! They are pretty good, you use them to make refried beans. Just put them with their included "sauce" in pan, turn on the heat, and mash them with a potato masher while you mix in flour. When the sauce is bound up with the flour, voila (or "mira"), you have refried beans. They seem to be good for you too, no trans fats or corn syrup.
Oh, and my stripper name is Pumpkin Sunnyside. That's pretty good! My daughter's is Victory Sylvia.
Ay carumba, Wendy! That's not how to make refried beans. Get a decent cookbook. You're not in Wisconsin anymore.
Ay carumba, indeed, Wendy! That may be how YOU use them to make refried beans, but having worked as a teenager at some Mexican fast food places, I can tell you, that is NOT how Mexicans make refried beans. I'm just gonna' say that LARD is involved, and leave it at that. But your way DOES seem healthier :)