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August 01, 2008 |
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Wonderful Bagels
FOUND by Jen Graf
in Buffalo, New York
Found in a copy of Amy Tan's "The Joy Luck Club," which I bought at a Salvation Army while waiting on an oil change.
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Bad Sister December 31, 2006 |
A Love Unrequited July 12, 2007 |
Cocaine November 27, 2007 |
Lots to Give... November 24, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I was just watching VHS I love the 80s, and they were joking about Cher and the bagel boy in some dumb movie, and I had no idea what they were talking about, but I love that show. Don't judgen me.
What an interesting phobia to have. Sock puppets. I wonder if it's linked to the abuse that Matt's Brother inflicted upon him.
uh oh, someone fancies his brother's girlfriend. Only bad things can come of this. No more bagels.
Dear Liz,
I think you have a great rack. You are the most boneable girlfriend my brother has ever had. Some day I can get you in the sack and do to you what I used to do to him. Did Matt ever mention that he is damaged goods?
Love,
Matt's
"Brother"
P.S.-Don't mention the word sock puppets, it reminds him of "prison".
Dear Matt's Brother:
Yeah, I gotcher "bagel" right here, buddy, and you ain't gettin none of it. Frig off.
The Liz
Yeah, I'm thinkin' it's more than the bagels that are rockin' this guy's world. He's trouble incarnate!
The Freudian symbolism of the bagel gift from a girl has overwhelmed Matt's brother.
(and why is he afraid/ashamed/unable to name nhimself??)
At least it wasn't bagels and hot dogs. That would have sent him over the edge.
BTW - He may be referring to "latex" sock puppets
Grr. That's older brothers for you.
I love that this note is written on a «Bearings • Seals • Truck part» note pad.
ooohhh... he's got it bad. i wonder how it played out.
I can't decide if "matt's brother" is trying to be cute and funny with the "how I used to abuse him", "behavioral disorder" and "sock puppet phobia". OR if he's completely serious about that stuff, which would make this a very creepy note...
the choice of the word "abuse" instead of more common terms for big brotherly harassment like "pick on" or "torment", is what implies possible very creepy depths to this find.
(especially paired with the "behavioral disorder" comment)
If Liz had left a nice fruit compote to go with the bagels . . . then I might see a future in this otherwise sad and creepy relationship.
(By the way, isn't "sock puppets" TWO words?)
I am dubious as to the veracity of this Find. The juxtaposition of the "Bearing/Seals/Truck Parts" paper and the back story of finding this note in a book bought "While waiting on an oil change" is just a weeee bit too supposititious for me. Sounds like someone wrote the note and then decided to send it in, and was inspired by the paper to invent the "oil change" provenance.
Aside from the creepiness factor, which I agree it has, to an alarming degree. Even if the note were legit (which as I say, I doubt), what kind of girl would be attracted by a person who uses abuse as humour?
Brrrr.
Homer Simpson has a fear of sock puppets.
Every single A in the note is capitalized. WHY?
Out of 27 E's, 17 are lower case, 10 are capitalized. WHY?
He got Bagels right the first time, misspelled it wrong the second time. Could he just not decide how to spell it correctly, so he tried both of the ways he thought it MIGHT be?
The apostrophe in YOUR really just pisses me off, as does girl frienb.
This entire missive makes me want to take a shower. Over and over and over again.
Mmmmmmm, bagels. I think Matt's brother is trying to joke around with his brother's girlfriend because he has a crush on her. I don't think it's creepy or disturbing, though. Just a guy being a traitor to his brother, which probably happens in a lot more families than one would think.
@beldar obsessive much?
Whoaaaa Matt's brother sure does like Matt's girlfriend.
@Monkey in denial - Matt's brother cited all of those embarrassing things to try and tear down Matt in Liz's eyes. Take him off his pedestal, if you will. If Matt's brother can make himself look like this big strong guy that is BETTER than Matt (even if his examples are stupid) he thinks he'll have a better shot.
I'm glad the find ended up here, b/c it means Liz didn't hold onto it.
Smallbear, I live to serve.
@Beldar, how do you misspell something wrong?
Matt's brother has a delicious sense of humor. Liz brought from from the bakery bagels over for surprise breakfast with Matt. MMatt had already slipped out for the morning so Liz shared the bagels with Bro. Bro left the note so the Matt would find it. All to just get Matt's goat.
Poor goat!
This note was written by one (or more) of Matt's friends, ribbing him, his brother, and maybe his girlfriend (although that could be totally made up--"if you had a girlfriend, she would probably be giving bagels to your brother, if you know what I mean...").
I'm wondering if the girlfriend left the bagels for her boyfriend, and his brother got them first, ate them and then left this little note as a way to thumb his nose at both of them.
But, it looks an awful lot like he just has a huge crush on his brother's girlfriend.
LOL @ FARMER!! *Obsessive much?* Ahahaha!! Good one, bud!
Anyhoo, I think that Matt's brother and Liz are *going down and out to eat* some hot, buttered, multi-grain bagels together!
And that is...just HOT!
Not so HOT for Matt, though...DUN-DUN-NA-NA!!
Oh, dear me.. you'll pardon the faux pas... I'm from France.
Poor Matt, his brother is trying rather hard to get his girlfriend away from him. The brother doesn't fail to mention a lot of Matts faults does he?
*OOPPSS!* I meant to laugh out loud at SMALLBEAR, *Obsessive much*?
Sorry FARMER!!
@Beldar, I was thinking the same thing about the capital letters. There is a weird sort of pattern there... perhaps if we decode it we can find out the secret to Matt's "behavioral dissorder"!
That is the strangest handwriting I have ever seen. I think Matt's brother might be a sociopath. There is something more sinister here than a friendly note to Liz.
I'm with Beldar and L. This writing is definitely a crazy person's writing. Its amazing how many crazy people are out there and no one knows at all until you get them a bagel.
Actually, the first instance of bagels is misspelled wrong.
I'm in the creepy camp on this one.. matt's abusive big bro seems like a real jerk.
WHY do I always have to spell scissors, or palindrome backward?
Nevertheless, this was a good one. I love the note, I love the situation, I love bagels. LOVE it.
LMAO @ Feeling Incoherent!
I've got a sudden craving for a bagel.
that is the best thing I've ever read. I also love Amy Tan.
Great find.
I'm old. What does LMAO mean?
Hey, I don't know if any of you are the big brother in your family (it seems unlikely considering the commentary above), but it's always been customary for me to harass and terrify my younger brother's new girlfriends. I can't say why exactly, but it's sort of a hazing process. I like to see if the girl can take a joke (creepy or not) and understand that I'm making sure she's going to stick around for a while (baking things like bagels, cake, etc. are always a plus). I guess it's just me being overprotective, but most big brothers, I would think, do the same thing.
@Feeling in coherent
LMAO = Laughing My Ass Off
Spam protection: What's 31 plus 11? 42 Of course it is.
Fake.
I think this is some kinda raunchy note. "Thanks for rocking my world... (winkwink) with your bagels. You are the coolest girlfriend... (winkwink) my brother has ever had." Not very covert if you ask me!
I think this is actually probably from Matt's little brother, because it just comes off as a kid writing it (unless they're both kids, also a possibility).
Just thinking....as read above: "misspelled wrong"...means one of two things a) a mistake was made on the mistaken spelling e.g. "bagele" rather than "bagle"...OR b) it is a double negative ergo it is spelled correctly..."bagel"...
I do agree with above comment...when a person spells a word two different ways they are hoping to be right 50% of the time rather than risk being wrong 100% of the time...human nature fascinates....
We don't even know if this is Matt's bigger or younger brother???
Thanks SARA!!
@Baby Basil - I'm the one who sent this in. I can assure you, it's an authentic Find! There was a logo and phone number for a car parts store at the top of the paper that Found cut out here... I always browse the books at Salvation Army during my oil changes, I can't bear to sit in Valvoline reading car magazines.
Although I definitely think Matt's brother has a huge crush on Liz, I never got the creepy vibe from it. Dim-witted maybe, but not creepy. Ha ha.
Thank you to the Finder for posting! I love when that happens!
I read this note as just a joking and friendly thank you...not creepy at all. Although yes, Matt's brother might be a little jealous of his brother's girl, but i don't think that's unusual or that anything is necessarily going on between them!
I always enjoy reading everyone else's thoughts about each find because they are often much different from my own. So thanks everyone for your comments!
Several Thoughts:
1) This person is left handed. The letters seem to slant more as the writer gets to the end of each line.
2) Matt's brother is sponging off of Matt. Matt has an apartment, Matt's brother crashes there, Liz sometimes sleeps over and buys bagels.
3) Matt's brother has an inferiority complex. He cannot afford his own place, he thinks Liz sees him as a loser, he thinks Matt sees him as a loser, he sees himself as a loser, so he chats up Liz and knocks Matt down a few pegs thereby temporarily improving his self esteem.
lulubelle, check out bbc.co.uk/h2g2
Thank you, mona lisa!!
Girl friend is written as two words, maybe it's actually just a friend of Matt's that Matt's brother has a crush on? I don't know that abuse means abuse as it first seems here though, he's a bit flippant (or a real jerk)
This is surely a joke, not sure by whom or for whom.
Or else Matt's Brother has a serious inferiority complex, I mean, doesn't he have a name?
I didn't often fancy my brother's girfriends, but he was always insufferably friendly with mine (who either loved him or loathed him).
I knew a guy with a very shy brother who once rang up and said 'Hello, this is one of the [Smith] brothers' -- there were only two of them and it wasn't the charismatic one! Poor chap.
Sibling relationships make an endlessly fascinating study.
is it just me that maybe thinks that matt could have written this note for liz to find because he was abused but too scared to bring it up in person...? it's the kind of thing i'd do, and it would explain the absence of a name as well as the sudden switch from a jokey bagel-themed note to a slightly less jokey one.
Bearings, seals, truck parts.
The relationships seen here make me very happy.
It is times like these when I like people very much.
The Joy Luck Club is one of my favorite books.
I think I'll read it again soon.