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August 07, 2008 |
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We Know It's Tradition
FOUND by Alex G
in Ithaca, New York
Found near an elevator in a public garage.
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So I Drank It August 24, 2006 |
Claude at Dusk September 15, 2007 |
MILF Day August 21, 2006 |
Marcia + Theron January 01, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
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UGH!! I've been in a few of these *piss* pots!!
A few people that I've known over the years have always lived in apartment buildings. I thought the hallways were most stinky from all the different foods cooking and what not.
However, it was the elevators that stunk like *stagnant, skunk piss*.
Absolutely gaggging as you're going either up or down 25 floors to get to your destination.
Another great FIND!
Oh my God, yes. I used to work in an office next to a street door to an alley where drunks would relieve themselves late at night so the wee would come in under the door. There's nothing worse than coming in to work in the morning and there's that SMELL and your shoes are sticking to the floor...
I think they've put a bright street lamp outside there now to discourage people. Somehow I don't think this notice would have made any difference.
Jonathan, is it true that they have lamp posts now that tell obnoxious people to piss off in Jimmy Saville's voice? Hearing him say "Now then, now then" would certainly make me beat a hasty if inelegant retreat! Maybe that's what they needed at your office.
The British phrase "to commit a nuisance" means just exactly that...having a pee outside the proper facility. Or a poo, but we hope it doesn't come to that.
1. Could have griped about the missing apostrophe in the first half of the note, but then decided that it works without it, too ("it" being the location below, which owns the tradition).
2. So, suddenly Ithaca is all a-historical and stuff? There are many non-traditional people there (e.g., Moosewood Cafe/Restaurant folks), sure, but what about preserving the stream of history [sorry!] for those who come after us?
3. If it isn't university students too drunk to read or care, my guess is that a note like this would just cause the pissers to spread it around without moving their feet. 'Not right here?? Okay, how about over there? Or there? Up there? Back and forth like that?'
Dear note writer,
I'd like to comply with your request, But... it's TRADITION!
and who am I to buck tradition?
Sir or Madam, I pee here not to offend you, nor out of laziness. No, I pee here out of respect for tradition.
I may not know how or when this tradition started, but I take a wee here to honor it and those who came before me(or rather, those who "went" before me...)
Monkey,
I am truly inspired. I now feel compelled to go pee someplace inappropriate (for the sake of Tradition)
Well spoken Monkey - I shall now wet my pants in your honor.
Hey don't tell anybody - but I actually sort of like the smell of urine soaked subway/underground stairways.
i was six years old at a Mets/Cubs game at Shea Stadium. i had to pee. mom took me to the ladies' room - or rather the ladies' line since the line of ladies doing the pee-pee dance stretched out into the hallway.
"how come the mens' room doesn't have a line?" i complained.
"because men don't bother to use the bathroom, dear."
and that's when i learned about penises.
in Amsterdam, they have all these portable urinals, where men can go pee. They're shaped like an "X", so four men can use them at one time, just right out in the open, their back to the world. They're bathroom situation is kind of gender biassed, because, for the most part, toilets are a pay per use kind of deal. So women get stuck paying 25c, and men get to wee for free. I guess it does keep the streets cleaner, because men would just pee anywhere, rather than fork out the quarter. It's kind of odd, tho, seeing men peeing right out there in public. It's a tradition, tho. There are stationary urinals as well, quite ornate, if a little gross. Better than urine in the streets, tho. The other day, i was at an outdoor concert, and i walked behind this building, where a guy was relieving himself, with his girlfriend shielding him from view. I don't know if i'd do that for a guy. She was brave. Or stupid. Or both.
@feeling.
good for you, your mission is to boldly "go" where man Has "gone" before.
@Alan.
I am honored. truly a a tribute worthy of my accomplishments
Jeez..I can think of many uses for this sign, just changing the last word: "I know it's tradition, but please stop vomiting here,"
"....screwing here."
"....selling drugs here."
I think it is nice the writer included the word 'please.'
@Hillary -- I was about that age too, when my Mom introduced me to the notion to just taking the Men's Room by storm if the line to the Ladies was too long. Been doing it since then every chance I get.
My mom told me "It's only a penis."
I love the surprised look on the guys faces as I breeze through, heading for one of their stalls, don't you?
***inhales deeply*** Aaahhhh! The pleasant aroma of stale urine and exhaust fumes in the morning! No better way to start your day.
*Before we all start peeing outside today (for tradition or a larf), just remember, in some places, it is considered a sex crime (indecent exposure) and none of us wants to be on that list. Well, most of us don't, anyway.
Here's the law from my own state:
SECTION 16-15-130. Indecent exposure; breastfeeding (I love the proviso about this!).
(A)(1) It is unlawful for a person to wilfully, maliciously, and indecently expose his person in a public place, on property of others, or to the view of any person on a street or highway.
(2) This subsection does not apply to a woman who breastfeeds her own child in a public place, on property of others, to the view of any person on a street or highway, or any other place where a woman and her child are authorized to be.
(B) A person who violates the provisions of subsection (A)(1) is guilty of a misdemeanor and, upon conviction, must be fined in the discretion of the court or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.
And Mona, that lady would also be subject to criminal prosecution in some places for aiding and abetting indecent exposure.
Where I come from you don't mess with tradition.
I think we've been looking at this all wrong.
I just noticed the pleasant blue color of the note-paper. That leads me to think that what we're looking at is a pregnancy test strip.
And the woman's 'significant other' finally got sick and tired of her peeing on the test strip each and every morning to check today's test results in hopes that they're different from yesterday's.
i've always said, it's a good day when you can pee in the woods! guess this is a similar take from just a different culture.
Ummm, Alan? I think there may be something wrong with you...Still love ya', but urine is NOT a pleasant smell (fresh OR stale)!
mlm - how did you find out about that?
I told monkey not to tell anyone.
We all know that Monkey respects tradition, but not secrecy. Monkey will spill his guts for a lousy banana.
i want to aid and abet someone's indecent exposure
@ Brain Problem- I, too, storm the mens' room when necessary. My favorite was at Grand Central before my train left to return to upstate. The woman's line was probably 100 deep and I had to GO! I went in the men's and when I came out I received an applause from women still standing in their respective line.
Can I Pee over here---> then?
Mona, those group urinals on the street in Amsterdam.. I'm sorry I missed those somehow. But maybe they didn't exist in 2001 when I was there. Anyway, I think, there's another example of how things are better in Europe! In Paris they have pods. You pay, go inside, pee or poop, then when you exit the pod and shut the door, the whole thing flushes itself, walls, sink, toilet and all, with disinfectant.
This does not prevent people from urinating in the corners and stairwells of the Metro though.
From what I've observed, Americans are much more picky than Europeans about separating the sexes for bathroom use. I see it as a movement toward a more advanced society, when women are bold enough to take their place in the men's bathroom!
Actually, i find that the smell of healthy urine, not overly concentrated and asparagus free, has a not unpleasant odour.
Some traditions need to be broken.
@ur in e.. i think urine of those who take lots of B vitamins smells kinda like fresh-baked bread.
the portable ones, i think were there just because it was almost Queen's day, and there were lots of celebrants expected in the streets. So, you might not have seen them.
I saw truckloads of them going down the highway. I should see if i took a picture of one. I think i tried to do it, inconspicuously.
But the permanent ones have been there for a long, long time. You don't say if you noticed them or not. They are rather ornate, and to the uninitiated, might look like something else.
I love the idea of those pods. Sounds like quite the experience to me. Do you have to pay for them?
The inequality of bathrooms comes from a building code issue...
Allow me to explain: During the Grand Central Station era, the code said 'same number of fixtures for each gender'. That logic, however, is flawed in that it takes longer to use a stall than a urinal.
Toilet Stall: hang purse if you have one, unzip, drop pants, line seat with paper, pee , wipe, pull up pants, grab purse, flush, head for sink)
Urinal: Approach, unzip, pee, zip, head for sink.
Today's codes allow for a greater number of fixtures in a women's rest room (in big assembly type buildings).
So, in older building, there will always be lines at the women's rooms. It's not that guys are peeing in places other than the bathrooms.
So there you have it - the architect's perspective.
NO way, uh uh. So I hied myself on over to the men's which, of course, had no line. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that not only were there a dozen stalls and a wallful of urinals, BUT ALSO "troughs" in the middle of the bathroom, where the boys were lined up, whizzing away.
All stalls were empty. I went about my business. As I was exiting, other females were entering! Got back just as Bird Song was ending. Now THAT's timing.
When I was a teenager, somebody approached me and my friend and offered us money to watch one of us go pee.
We did not accept.
I tried to avoid getting involved in this issue, I really did. But here's the thing. I'm from Kentucky. And while I am from a non-rural section of this beautiful state, I do have cousins that fit every Red Neck generalization out there. (Kitchen appliances on the lawn, old couch on the porch, four or five pick up trucks on blocks in the gravel driveway, etc.)At many redneck homes, there is no grass growing within 10 feet of the back porch because of all the peeing that is done from off of it. Apparently, it's tradition.
my friend's sons were porch trained before they were toilet trained. It's tradition. And she's not a redneck.
In point of fact, Mona, it is actually a misdemeanor to pee in unauthorised public places in most of Europe. You can be fined, or for a repeat offence, given community service AND a fine. It is not looked on kindly. People do it, but if you get caught, you pay. It's a lot better to stump up for a coffee or something or pay the 25 cents or whatever.
We do have some public toilets on our streets where I live but most of the time they're "out of order." Much easier and faster to step into the nearest caff for a quick cuppa. Which of course will make you need to pee later, but hopefully by then you'll be home or someplace with a public toilet.
you should have seen the number of newspaper articles and media coverage when these three young guys urinated on the National War Memorial in Ottawa, on Canada Day, a couple of years ago. They were photographed by a retired military guy, rewards were put up for whoever turned them in. It was a national scandal. Apparently the three guys had 'partied to excess', and the military guy said that 'there was no excuse. there are public washrooms, there are bushes.'
@Lucky in KY - 10 feet?! Wow! You've gotta admire their bladder muscles!
This find made me laugh so hard I peed
...near an elevator
...in Ithaca, NY.
What can I say? You just can't fight tradition.
@christiatric: Holy Crap! That gotta be way more than 10 feet!!!
'Tradition ist Schlamperei!' [slovenliness] -- Gustav Mahler.
Mona, we have those plastic standup urinals in London. They're wheeled out on Friday and Saturday nights. They are a new initiative, though, only in the last year or two.
Girls still have to wee in doorways.
Then there was the huge illuminated street sign (on a Friday night) which proclaimed 'URINATING IN THE STREET IS UNLAWFUL', which struck me as needlessly shocking and somewhat Orwellian.
@Clover - I was going to mention the awesome French pods that clean themselves between uses, but you beat me to it!
I was just in France with some friends and none of us had seen these pods before - it was quite the experience. We read the "directions" which tell you that the entire pod is washed out between uses but some other tourists didn't speak the language and kept getting mad at us that the next person in line wouldn't go in right away when the other person was finished and the door opened to let them out (if we had we would have had quite the shower!!) they just kept trying to shove us towards the door and glaring at us, finally they just left. I half hoped that one of them got caught in the automatic washing cycle at the next one they encountered.
No? Then can I pee over here
<----------
@Sadie, good story! They should learn French if they want to know how to work the pods! @Mona, you do have to pay to use the pods, but I can't remember how much, since last time I was in Paris was 2004. Sadie? How much? I may have seen the permanent urinals in Amsterdam, but maybe I mistook them for drinking fountains. (Ew. If so, I'm glad I didn't try to use one.) There is so much cool stuff to look at there, it's easy to miss one thing while looking at another. For example, as we walked down the street, I was busy staring at the city's oldest church when I realized that we had just passed the Red Light district. My 12-year-old daughter asked, "Why are those ladies modeling underwear in their front windows?" It was the middle of the afternoon, not even night time.
The spam question (what is 2012 minus 4?) is a reminder of how many years we have until the end of world. In which case all this talk about pee and urinals seems insignificant.
@Mona you can aid and abet my indecent exposure!
@Clover Any proclamation of The End Of The World!, is always highly exaggerated. I'll believe in Armageddon (or should it be Arrrrhmageddon, Monkey?) when I see it.
Can I pee on a statue then?
@Clover: re: drinking fountains: When I was a kid, my dad sometimes took us to work with him on Saturdays. (He would be the only employee in the building on those days.) The only restroom available to us was the men's room, no big deal, but my sister mistook the urinal for a water fountain!
Hey Cubby, does a bear shit in the woods?
I know exactly where this is. I sometimes park in this garage when I'm running late for work. And it is a tradition. To the point where the floor of the elevator is rotting away. Ick.
to ur in e above,
i rather like the smell of my urine after i've eaten asparagus.
When I'm out and about and have to go to the little grad student's room, I make recourse to hotels. It doesn't matter how drunk and disorderly you are, if you look like you know where you're going, no questions asked.
@Mona --- I remember that. Now every time I walk past the war memorial and there are soldierly types there, I wonder if they are guarding it from pee.
Is it getting to be time for the 2nd annual Pissing Contest?
Amsterdam. What a great city. Someday I'll be back.
I pissed in the parking lot of a baseball stadium once. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't think I'll make it a tradition though. Security was not pleased.
@ i was saving this for post secret: My husband says the same thing after eating asparagus..
One time I ate a bunch of beets, then peed red later in the day...thought I had a terrible disease, then I remembered the jar of pickled beets.
BTW, pissing in the parking lot reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when the 4 characters were lost in a multi-level parking lot and George got arrested for indecent exposure for peeing in the corner.
How about in the shower...?
@smallbear
yes, when Armageddon strikes you're allowed to pee on statues.
in fact if Armageddon were to strike, I'm pretty sure I'd be peeing everywhere. though not out of tradition...
@Clover: Hmmm, I don't recall exactly - I know we had to dig for change. I vaguely think it was half a Euro but don't quote me on that. Regardless, it was definitely worth it to pee in such a space-age feeling pod!
@clover:
she caught the 'underwear models' in the windows, but missed the giant penis fountain?
@Nighty Yeah we do and we urinate there too.
@Monkey ok thanks, next time I'm in Amsterdam maybe I'll pee on the statue of a penis, the irony would be hilarious.
@Hilary, Is there really such a thing as a giant penis fountain in Amsterdam? I'd like to think that the reason Clover's daughter missed 'seeing' the penis fountain and focused on the 'ladies in their underwear' is because she didn't realize what a penis looked like and therefore did not know that what she was seeing was anything to comment about. In other words I'd like to believe that in today's over sexualized world a 12 yo girl could still be that naive.
@small:
google the words amsterdam penis fountain if you're curious.
it seems like 12 year old girls throughout history have been familiar with the concept of a penis - although maybe not in our Donna Reed inspired nostalgic past.