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September 15, 2008 |
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Here Are Your Choices
FOUND by Lacey Prpic Hedtke
in Duluth, Minnesota
My dad just called me laughing hysterically- he found this note blown into his yard. Mike is his asshole neighbor's kid who just graduated high school. Ha ha.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
how about d) all of the above?
Maybe you folks don't like this neighbour, but I think he's got a good point. Bravo, Mr A Hole.
10-4 lars. I read you five by five.
How about ........ YES!?
What's with the months? I think I'm going to start all my angry notes this way:
"February. Mar. A.S.A.P. [insert ultimatum here]"
Also, they will always appear on the back of OJ wrappers. A girl needs her vitamin C, right?
Wait... Is it the child of your asshole neighbor? Or the asshole child of your neighbor?
If the kid is the asshole, then Bravo!!
If the dad is the asshole, then it's karma, baby!!
I understand 1) "60 to school" [break the speed limit by driving to school very quickly], but
what do you suppose 2) "6ey A JOB" means?
Either way, I'm glad the writer isn't so concerned about just when Mike gets this all going ... October, November, as soon as possible, whenever, sometime in the next couple months. (I used to work someplace where "ASAP" meant 'goes on the bottom of the pile, because other requests have actual hard and fast due dates and they'll come first.')
I'll stop writing now.
I'm predicting the kid will still be there come December.
Why do some "children" lack the instict and drive to do these things?
I'm thinking the kid should've started school in Sept. Now October and November have gone by and no school, no job, so dad's made the ultimatum.
Fair enough, I think.
The turd don't fall far from the asswhole.
Does moving out mean I can pitch a tent in the backyard and live there?
The three exclamation points at the end indicate that Mike's mom is really, really, really serious about Mike having to go to school, OR get a job, OR move out, in October, OR November, OR as soon as whenever it is he decides it is possible. Really, really serious. She means it THIS time, buster!!!
Well, if the kid had "just" graduated from school, then the note was probably written/6iven in May or June, so to me it looks like the parent gave the slacker kid plenty of time to accomplish any one of the three.
And kids are unmotivated to DO these things because they're lazy and feel entitled.
But I wonder if the parent will feel any level of responsibility when Mike, having slacked until the deadline without achieving any of the three options*, moves in with his buds from high school, who have "graduated" from pot to coke, and now live with their dealer and a couple of lingering crack hoes and other hangers on. (doubt it.)
*(actually since the third "option" is not numbered like the other two in the numbered list, it looks to me like that one's not "an option" that's the one the parent WANTS Mike to DO.)
or...
er...
what comes after (2) ???
Why would someone identify her father's neighbor as an asshole and then post her full name and city on the internet? Talk about "cruisin' for a bruisin'..."
@feeling; it's most likely both.
the asshole doesn't fall far from the tree, as the old saying goes(or something like that anyway, it's an A word, that I'm sure of)
[p.s, though a tree that assholes fall out of is a very unpleasant sounding tree, and not one you'll ever catch this monkey climbing]
MOVE OUT!
@Way to early in the a.m.
"And kids are unmotivated to DO these things because they're lazy and feel entitled."
Wrong, wrong wrong wrong, you're Wrong! What you say is not always true. I used to be just like this kid. I had a hard time adjusting to the real world after college and just floated for a while. Living at home and working at crappy jobs, when I worked at all. After 16 years in the protected environment of School I was scared and frozen because I didn't know what i was going to do with the rest of my life. I had a really hard time finding the guts to take any risks and was on the recieving end of several similar ultimatums as this Find from my Father. So ease up on the critacism of this Kid he or she might feel the same as I did.
I had to deliver the same smack down this year...Except I did it verbally, I didn't deliver it with a wussy note.
@ Terrie ... poor Mike: catching it from his dad, catching it from you, probably now everyone's going to whale on him.
Awwwww...poor kid. I know what SMALLBEAR is speaking of. Our son went through the same crap.
After high school, it took him 1 1/2 years to finally find a job that he liked and now it's his passion.
He's an Auto Mechanic, working towards his License but doing his Apprenticship at a Towing Company. He also is a Tow Truck Driver.
He'll be 20 in December...his dad and I couldn't be more proud of him!!!
Take your time, Mike! Tell your parents to chill-ax!
The kid involved obviously is a HS graduate, as you don't give a university grad the ultimatim to "go to school." That would leave just "get a job", as they've already done the school bit. Most ultimatim-giving parents don't want their offspring to do grad school, because they're afraid that they will turn into perpetual students.
I wonder if this is the same kid that got the smarmy kiss-off note from his dad for "picking the wrong school." Why did Dad decided to procreate? Oh, yeah, right, I forgot--to perpetuate the family line, to keep the family name going, to prove his manhood...not to actually have another human being in the house. They're too expensive. Trophies are better.
But children aren't trophies.
AWESOME CALL, ORINOCO!
@ Holly ... funny you should use the phrase "chill-ax" because shortly after he got and threw away this note, Mike turned ax murderer on his family (and those nosey neighbors next door, for good measure), then ran off to New York City, where he's been living in the subway tunnels ever since.
My grandparents (in their mid 70s) recently gave this same ultimatum to my uncle Dave who is 42 years old. My ex inlaws recently gave a similar ultimatum to my ex husband. Who is 36. I don't see asking a person to take hold of his/her life a bad thing.
I have a nine year old son. I can't imagine him living with me for the next 33 years.
Librarian, I know, I'm such a hard ass--I simply told Mike to contribute to society or contribute to this household. If sitting on his ass and socializing with friends are all he can manage, he can do it somewhere else.
Wish someone would give the same note to the assholes across the street from me.
I wish my neighbor would give her 40-something year old son a similar note.
But Oct-Nov? That's not a very firm deadline. hahaha
I think based on their parenting skills evident in this note, it's the neighbor's DAD that is the asshole.
His child is either not prepared yet, or does not have the parental support to acheive any of these goals.
It is completely unrealistic to give somebody an ultimatum in Oct. - Nov. to go to school (does he not realize when semesters begin?) or find a job (it's infamously hard to find jobs in the fall/winter). Without money he can't move out. It's just a stale-mate due to his poor parenting skills.
I feel bad for the kid.
And- how the heck do you pronounce Prpic?
This is probably gonna poss some people off, but...
Lots of people have had no parental support at all and somehow managed to figure out their lives. Maybe this kid's problem is that he had too much parental support.
If you never let a kid figure out what it feels like to fail, he will never know the satifaction of picking himself up and trying again.
Sorry, the word is Piss.
"Parental support" issues aside, what kind of passive-agressive parent leaves this kind of ultimatim for a NOTE? Talk about it, shout about it, when you've got to choose...at least Mike has to choose. I can't imagine a person leaving a note like this. Talk to the kid. He's your son, right? If you're "too busy" to talk to him, how do you even know he's still there?
I'd hate to be Mike's dad when he hits about 70. Passive-agressive chickens have a tendency to come home to roost. I can see it now, a note taped to Dad's walker:
"Dad:
Oct-Nov, ASAP
Here are your choices:
1. Go into a resthome
2. Sell your house and get a small apartment
OR
Hit the grave!!"
sick in tired- that's exactly what my ex is waiting to do: his dad gave this sort of ultimatim when he turned 18, and he (the ex) has been angry and bitter ever since.. just waiting for the day when he has to stick his dad in the worst possible rest home he can find. (good GOD I'm glad I won't be around to watch what happens next!)
I had a friend that had that problem once... but he was totally a momma's boy. I mean it was bad. If you're going to spend all your time playing video games and all your $ getting high, you have no room to talk. Then again, his mom wasn't really too forthcoming in cutting those apron strings. He finally moved out. And his parents still help him pay his way. One word: Lame.
Small Bear - point taken. I agree. But there are those that do take advantage and don't do what they are entirely capable of doing.
@Tiny Sparrow-I know that there are plenty of people who take advantage, just wanted to show that there was another possibility and another side to the story. I have to agree with all who question the Dad's parenting skills. A lot of fathers are better parents in their own heads than in reality!
(Don't mean to piss {or should I say poss like Lucky in Kentucky?} on all fathers many are great. Just meant to refer to those who think they know everything and are never wrong, like this kid's dad seems to be!)
@ LIBRARIAN- You're the bestest at telling stories!
@Holly ... why thank you, kindly. When my "Best of..." collection comes out, I'll autograph a special one just for you.
Mike,
p.s. You have to start buying your own weed. No more free shit.
Librarians always are the best at story-telling. I was observing some of the librarians at my school today, but they are of a different sort. You would think that in the quietest, nicest room in the school (awesome gigantic windows for cloud-gazing!) that they would all be happy (or at LEAST cheerful), but they're a cross sort.
It somewhat bothers me that some people I know might be on the receiving end of these sorts of letters in the coming 48 months or so.
My parents should write this note to my brother...45 years old and living in their basement, unemployed and free-loading.
@ LIBRARIAN- Thank-You...ever so-much!
With the economy the way it is it's pretty difficult to find a job or live on your own