September 22, 2008

Driver's Ed
FOUND by Georgia Gunner in Harvard, Massachusetts
Found at Transfer Station on the ground.
baby basil in the herb garden
If you hit a whale, call a psychiatrist. Whales are not land animals! You won't be seeing whales jumping across the road in front of you any time soon unless you're on some sort of illegal substance.
+ September 22, 2008 12:46 AM +
Dina in la la land
This is officially my favorite Found ever.
+ September 22, 2008 02:19 AM +
Loquaciousness in your bowl of custard
My driver's ed classes weren't half that interesting. I want my money back!

L
+ September 22, 2008 03:08 AM +
LASH in fulfillment in in our bed

LOL! I thought this rather consternating..."If you're turning w/a stop sign..."
What...s/he is carrying the sign with them in the automobile?

Should be written, "If you're STOPPING at a stop sign, and signaling to turn..."

GEEZ-WHIZ!
+ September 22, 2008 04:57 AM +
darkshines in The cupboard under the stairs
If you hit a whale whilst driving, he probably just wants to be friends. Look out for vases of tulips though.....
+ September 22, 2008 05:01 AM +
Tang in CHNC
I wonder what version of " smashed " they had to watch in this class.
+ September 22, 2008 05:31 AM +
Feeling in coherent
Finally...Boston drivers are explained!
+ September 22, 2008 05:39 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork
I'm guessing that item #1 on the list was from "Diver's Ed." and not "Driver's Ed.". Two completely different classes.
+ September 22, 2008 05:40 AM +
Night in gale
I'm guessing the Transfer Station is where the writer was getting on the train? (Whew!)

Funny Find, Georgia!
+ September 22, 2008 05:47 AM +
A girl in a cube
My high school drivers' ed teacher had a similar sense of humor. It made two entire semesters of learning an hour's worth of common sense seem less painfully boring.
+ September 22, 2008 06:14 AM +
Jonathan in infinite improbablility
@Darkshines -- thanks for the vase of tulips reference!

But he obviously hasn't learned Rule 1, which is always hang on to your towel.
+ September 22, 2008 06:17 AM +
orinoco womble in wimbledon burrow
And rule 2: DON'T PANIC. (Sorry about the caps, but this page doesn't allow "large friendly letters.")
+ September 22, 2008 06:50 AM +
mona lisa in hootoo
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/

orinoco womble. for you.
+ September 22, 2008 07:11 AM +
fooch in my coffee mug
Well, I can see how one can hit a whale...
We have land sharks, don't we?
+ September 22, 2008 07:25 AM +
alan goes "pting" in Joe Strummer's car
This find shows me there is hope for the future
+ September 22, 2008 07:34 AM +
Mahalia in YO FACE, Bitch!
Wouldn't it B nice if there was a series of "Things I learned in driver's ed"? I mean we're only getting 2 c what the aspiring driver learned on Tuesday. I want 2 know what s/he learns on Wednesday!

...and I have another driving rule that I learned in Boston and wish 2 share with u all...it's definitely legal 2 PAC ur car in da YAD win deers a KEG in da front! (This was told 2 me by my good friend Bobby Meats...true story)
+ September 22, 2008 07:36 AM +
teeth in the grass
I wish I had taken that Driver's Ed class.
+ September 22, 2008 08:18 AM +
Flargy in New Haven, CT
This is by far one of the funniest finds I've seen yet (if not THE funniest).

And yes, Feeling - this explains it all! Apparently, in Massachusetts, driver's ed is taught by the three stooges.
+ September 22, 2008 08:30 AM +
mlm in texas
Dina, this might be one of my favorite finds, too. Alan, I agree wholeheartedly. HA!
+ September 22, 2008 08:31 AM +
Tori in South Cackalackie
Oh my gosh, this has to be one of the funniest finds EVER! Number three literally made me LOL!
+ September 22, 2008 09:20 AM +
SSSSS avoiding work in the office
Funny!

I wonder if the class was actually this funny or if the author was twisting the lecture points for their own amusement. I take notes like this when I'm really bored. Either way- I'm happy to know that the person I flipped off at the stop sign this morning totally had it coming!
+ September 22, 2008 10:13 AM +
Feeling in coherent
@ Flargy

Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck
+ September 22, 2008 11:25 AM +
Mary in Land of Too Much Chocolate

The tragic thing here is that this poor young driver has LOST his class notes.

What's he to do now if he drives into a whale or decides to turn terrorist? Whatever shall he do?
+ September 22, 2008 12:11 PM +
Hitchhiker in the Galaxy
@ Darkshines-- I believe it was a bowl of petunias, not a vase of tulips. Good reference, though :)
+ September 22, 2008 12:31 PM +
Librarian in the woodwork
In #2 ... shouldn't that be "sine waves" rather than "sign waves"?

or would that only apply if an M.I.T. student had lost this?
+ September 22, 2008 12:37 PM +
alan goes "pting" in Joe Strummer's car
In my head - I was this funny when I was 16. The reality of it is probably different.
+ September 22, 2008 12:40 PM +
orinoco womble in wimbledon burrow
@Mona Lisa: I always thought you were ubercool. Now I know it.

And yes, it was a bowl of petunias. Is. No, was.

"Oh no. Not again."
+ September 22, 2008 12:43 PM +
jolenesummer in 315/716.new york.
Funny I taught my friend how to take a picture of a girl he thought was hot without her knowing while he was at drivers ed
and learned he was scared of ants.he called me on his break
xD
+ September 22, 2008 12:51 PM +
Alvacado in the fridge, rotting
If you hit a whale, give him the basket and ask him to the prom. If he says no, interact as friends. Assuming the whale will want to remain friends after you hit him.
+ September 22, 2008 01:13 PM +
Dolphin in In Space
So Long and Thanks for all the Fish.
+ September 22, 2008 01:26 PM +
Molly in the sky
@Mary
Why do you assume the author of this note is male? Just wondering, because to me the handwriting could go either way.

I would like to think this is a kid that thought Driver's Ed is just as stupid as I did when I was that age, and was just trying to ammuse themselves by pretending they're actually learning interesting things.

Whoever it was had quite the imagination.
+ September 22, 2008 01:45 PM +
sarah in found HQ ann arbor
hahaha!
+ September 22, 2008 02:36 PM +
Smallbear in the Cave
I've driven in Boston and it's really an adventure in crazy driving and outrageous street configurations! Fully understand why Stephan King calls Mass. drivers Massholes!


+ September 22, 2008 04:18 PM +
darkshines in The cupboard under the stairs
I do apologise, its been at least 18 months since I last read HG2TG......
+ September 22, 2008 05:19 PM +
Sammy Davis Junior Jr
@ Dolphin..nice. I do remember that song from some really funny movie.
My kids have tried to pull the e-brake while I was driving, but I was quicker and threatened to make them walk home.
+ September 22, 2008 07:48 PM +
mona lisa in the louvre
Thanks, Orinoco Womble. You're pretty cool yourself.


I like pulling the e-brake and doing donuts in snowy parking lots, and freaking out my kids.
+ September 22, 2008 08:46 PM +
Lolita
Sammy, the movie is Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I hate donuts in parking lots. Mona, my significant other thinks it is hilarious and and will do them just to piss me off and see me get dizzier than hell.
+ September 22, 2008 09:04 PM +
Me in a place where lakes freeze
Hey you crazy drivers that like to do donuts: the best place to do them is on a frozen lake. In these days of front wheel drive if you do them in reverse it's much better!
+ September 22, 2008 09:15 PM +
Josie in Vancouver
Well, I clearly went to the wrong driving school...
+ September 22, 2008 10:28 PM +
Holly the Homemaker in Toronto

MONA- You are cool!! When you roll over the DON'T PANIC banner...it even says, written in friendly capital letters!

How do you find these wicked sites?

I love your acts of beneficence...thanks!
+ September 23, 2008 09:36 AM +
.. in your bubble..
Georgia Gunner is an extremely cool name. Do you think that's the person's name, or do you think the Finder is a Navy Gunner, orignially from Georgia, now living in Massachussetts?

Coolest Finder name in a long while.
+ September 23, 2008 10:08 AM +
totally in appropriate
brilliant.

absolutely brilliant.
+ September 23, 2008 10:45 AM +
Marcus in Los Angeles/Alamitos
Epic 'pass'!
+ September 23, 2008 02:12 PM +
SpongeBob in Mrs. Puff's Driver's Ed class, Binkini Bottom
nnnahahahaha nnnnahahahaha.. if you hit a whale, it's probably Pearl, and Mr. Crabs will KIIIILL YOOOUUUUU!
+ September 23, 2008 02:51 PM +
Miss Scarlett in The Conservatory with a revolver
And here I thought I was the only one who thought people who didnt follow the "right of way passes to the right" rule on stop signs were horrifically annoying. Makes me so mad when people just wave you through...Eff off mate- go already!
+ September 23, 2008 03:23 PM +
Mostly Harmless in Restaurant at the End of the Universe
They obviously haven't covered the answers to life, the universe and everything yet.
+ September 26, 2008 12:03 PM +
hannah in in ohio
Me and my friend lauren had drivers class together and this reminds me of EXACTLY what we did the whole time. In ohio it's 4 classes that are 4 hours each b/c our school doesn't offer it. All we did was write dirty poems, sneak out to the indian market down the street, and order pizza to the room. We got in so much trouble and even though it was so boring, it really was something I'll never forget. Whoever wrote this reminds me of my friends :D
+ September 27, 2008 12:16 PM +
some guy in Germany
Perhaps the author is a recent transfer from Vegas or Atlantic City. A different kind of game warden would be concerned about people hitting their whales.

If you hit a bowl of petunias, you're not going to get much of a response. If you do, it'll probably be along the lines of "Oh, no, not again."
+ October 01, 2008 09:33 AM +

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