Higgy in Tennessee
It's sad, it sounds like kathy needs help and B just left her to sink.

Lily in San Diego
You can only keep other people afloat for so long before you start to feel like you are going to drown with them. Some just need to sink before they learn to swim on their own.

Ninstar
Well said Lily...
I've been B. too many times.

Steph in AZ
I hope she swam.

ginger
i really hope she swam too

I'm in denial
I'm not kathy, but I know a "B" and he could have written this to me. It's taken years but I think I'm finally swimming on my own.

Kathy in Michigan
I am Kathy, and although I don't remember this note, it very well could have been given to me. It looks like B's writing, and it certainly sounds like him. I never did sink, and I have gone way past swimming and am happily flying most of the time (figuratively speaking -- not on planes nor with drugs, just with a very satisfying, strong life.)

Trying to swim in the deep end of the pool
I hope I never push him to the point of leaving this note for me. I'm worried that it's too late and he's composing it in his head right now, waiting for the right time to write it down and leave it for me to find. I'm trying...please understand, I'm trying. But swimming when all you want to do is sink is very hard work. Don't leave me to sink all by myself. Please.

Midlife Crisis in California
Does anyone else think we need to start teaching compassion in school rather than thinking people are going to magically pick it up on their own?

maggieb in Michigan
Did you see how it was folded? It looks like B. wanted to write it, but not be found.

Cait in grained on her mind
This note reminds me of my last break-up. Its an awesome find though. And I love the writer's penmanship.

Kirst in .
Maybe the relationship was holding her down, and he knows she'll do better without him. She only knows how to succeed. That's what I gather from the "so do it." Its like a pep talk. I hope she made it, and they bumped in to each other again.

Rosemary in Galway, Ireland
I was a Kathy. And my B was there with me through a lot, through the real searing grief of losing someone you love. But when it got to the every-day grief, the living with it and moving on grief, B couldn't do it. I found out later that I didn't drive B away because he couldn't handle my grief anymore, B was my grief, and I couldn't handle him anymore. Once B was out of the picture I was fine. I swam!

a bird in the hand
This note is tragically beautiful. I just know he left because he knew she'd swim. I'm sure she received it, but how did it find its way into a vase? Maybe when the pain was still raw, she shoved it into the vase to get it out of sight, and in the meantime, her life took off. Maybe she got a better job, moved to a new city, and sold some of the old, ugly possessions that were her only remaining ties to a different life. Forgotten, yet fittingly, the note was left behind too.

jens in hawaii
It appears that this note was folded multiple times. Kathy often used it in tough times to determine that she could, in fact, swim.. but would chose not to on a subconscious level.

K in Ottawa
So much sexism in the comments on this find! I am a woman who expects to be held accountable for her actions. Perhaps Kathy should be held accountable for her actions... isn't it possible that she is indeed responsible for the break-down of the relationship? Everyone is commenting on how insenstitive B. must be, how he is not there for her, etc. etc. Don't forget that women can be independent, amazing, strong... but they can also be overly needy, draining and difficult. B. suggests she might end up sinking... B. suggests that this is a pattern with her. Maybe give B. some benefit of the doubt too.

sophies in london
so much heaviness in the comments... cheer up.

Charlotte in London
i hope she swam, i dont think B wanted her to sink.