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December 14, 2008 |
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Dont Forget to Pick Up Your Print Jobs
FOUND by God of Poop
in at the office
Typically you print and go retrieve your stuff, especially if its not work-related. Someone forgot his personal print job.
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Put Your Poo Hats... January 25, 2004 |
Awesome Party May 27, 2006 |
Someone Who Hates... August 11, 2005 |
Man and Mule March 02, 2003 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Maria needs to kiss Ken and the $2,200 good-bye.
Is it just me, or does anyone else while reading the small version of this notice the lines start to undulate or rock back and forth? Could just be that I've been staring at the Wii for too long...
I was going to google the Finder, but suddenly find myself to be God fearing.
I smell a payoff for a home-made porn movie involving a threesome. Ken and Maria roped her in at a time when she was facing eviction from her apartment and there was literally no food in the house. The bit about "self-respect and dignity" could just be second thoughts...or it could be that the writer just discovered the footage posted on the Internet.
Baby Basil,
I had very similar thoughts. I think Ken must have really pushed to have his fantasies played out and ended up hurting two people in the process. Jan is right. Kiss Ken and the money good-bye.
I was thinking the same, except the apology to Maria at the end makes me think she might not have been involved. and that it might have been more of an affair(one of Ken's many it would seem) were there was an unspoken expectation for a "gift" of money.
whoa. it's finds like this that remind me that i live a boring, boring life.
p.s. if i found this in the printer at work, i'd probably call myself the god of poop, too. if you know what i mean. and i think you do.
Dirty dirty dirty. Paying for it is never acceptable. Or "exceptable" as this author would have written
So the notwriter participated, and, although s/he didn't ask to be, was paid $2000 plus $200? (was it supposed to say "I didn't ask for anything but I did accept..." ?)
and now s/he's feeling guilty and plans to make it all go away by paying it back in manageable, easy monthly payments? Thereby earning her redemption.
ooooohhhhh... what did they doo? And how many others were there before??
A Classic Find- gets your mind working in all sorts of directions, feeds those little voyeuristic tendencies.. thanks, god of poop. (wish I knew what city your office was in.)
yeah, but for $2000+ bucks, and if no one got killed..
just kidding. My imagination does not stretch too far into the perverted, only into mild absurdities.
Therefore, I will make this comment: I was confused as the except (meaning accept?) and I had to torture myself and read it MORE THAN ONCE.
Maria, it is time you left Ken. Sounds like to me that you are the one who needs to salvage what is left of your self-respect and dignity.
Get the hell out of there!
I'm with lars on this one. My life is BORING. If only I could find several partners to SCREW over like Ken has. My BODY and my FEELINGS have never been for sale either. Maybe that's where I've gone WRONG.
Oh. Maria is the wife. The note writer is a mistress, probably butt hurt because she found out Ken had other mistresses too. Now she feels like a prostitute because Ken gave her money. Don't pay the money back, girl, just move on.
My mind tends to think that Ken and Maria are married (or at least co-habitating) and there's something a little more .. in depth than musical mistresses involved. Considering that there was a $2000 (+200) payment involved, I'm thinking it meanders into the S&M realm .. or porn like someone else suggested. (*shudder*)
ooohhh...mabye this person needs to start a new life, someplace very far away.
So, if Redemption, your body, etc. are not for sale, what do you gain by giving the money back? Do they return your redemption, your body, and your feelings? Does it make what happened not to have happened?
Face it, girl, you took money for a threesome or whatever. Learn from that and move on. Giving the money back may shore up the tatters of your pride, but it won't earn you their respect...you lost that when you agreed in the first place.
I'm with Sick In Tired: Keep the $2,200. Chalk the whole thing up to experience.
I know girls who would do it (what we're all speculating) for dinner at Olive Garden. At least the note writer made some cash.
Definitely don't think Maria was involved. Otherwise, why the professions of regret with the statements about Maria deserving more?
Also, what an awesome find at work. I don't think I could look at my colleagues the same again.
I agree with Sick and Mom...Although I understand the need to want to somehow redeem...I think this girl latched on to a well-off man who later turned out be married and when the whole thing came out in the open she felt dirty about being the mistress..the payback is just a rationalization to make the pain a little less and to stoke the fires of hope to feel once again a moral person...Thou shalt not commit adultery....
no good for poor maria, but whatever the author did to her, giving the money back won't help. maria dumps ken, author keeps money, ken presumably got some. maria realizes she's better off, author becomes a better person, ken starts a porn company.
Or, the original writer could be a man....? Methinks Ken might have been stretching his wings a little, things got out of hand, now everyone has regrets. Except (accept?) Maria, who just feels skeevy.
It seems that the speculated partaking of Ken's equipment has left the Authoress a little unsatisfied. Maybe that's why she wished Maria BETTER than she's had.
I think the writer was a surrogate mom for Maria and Ken. She now does not wish to be a surrogate,but does not regret trying to help her friends out.
Keep the money. You swallowed at least a pint of semen that night so you deserve it.
See you next weekend.
Love, Ken
Last night, as I got home, about a half past ten
There was the woman I thought I knew in the arms of Maria & Ken.
I kept my cool, I ain't no fool. Let me tell ya what happened then.
I packed some clothes and I walked out ..and I ain't goin' back again.
Chorus
So write a letter to letter Ken & Maria..address it to them both
Say I won't be coming home..gotta start a new life
Oh Take a letter Ken & Maria..address it to them both
Send a copy to my lawyer..gotta start a new life
You've been many things but most of all a good secretary to me
And it's time like this I feel, you've always been close to me
Was I wrong to work nights, to try to build a good life?
All work, and no play has just cost me a 2200 bucks
Chorus
So write a letter to Ken & Maria..address it to them both
Say I won't be coming home..gotta start a new life
Take a letter Ken & Maria..address it to them both
Send a copy to my lawyer, gotta have a new life
When a man loves a woman, it's hard to understand
That she would find pleasure in the arms of another both Maria and Ken
I never really noticed, how dumb you are to me
It just so happens I'm free tonight, would you like to have dinner with me?
So take a letter Ken & Maria..address it to them both
Say I won't be coming home..gonna start a new life
Ohhhh, Take a letter Ken & Maria..address it to them both
Send a copy to my publicist..Gonna have a new life
Take a letter Ken & Maria..address it to them both
Say I won't be coming home..fade out
The $20.00?? Forget about it. Also the $2.00. We'll call it even, okay? Calling in 2 payments, and forgetting 2 payments. It's about as fair as it gets. That's all any of us can except these days.
God of Poop - how can you possibly still work in that office without constantly agonizing over who this person is!?!?!
If I worked there I'd constantly be making subtle innuendos to anyone and everyone about "Ken and Maria" until I figured out who it was or I got fired for annoying everyone to distraction...