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December 18, 2008 |
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No Birthdays
FOUND by Jess
in New Haven, Connecticut
My scavenger hunt team found this on the sidewalk while searching around New Haven last summer. Baffled by the cryptic message, we finally settled on the idea that this was a teacher's note to herself about her new class: two of her students are allergic to penicillin, one is Muslim or Jewish (no pork), one is allergic to molds (no bleu cheese), and one is a Jehovah's Witness (no birthdays).
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
1 point for Bleu
-1 point for penecillin
Hmm... are we sure those are 1s? Maybe that reads "I no pork, I no bleu cheese."
Well of course there are no birthdays. What kind of birthday would it be without Blue cheese, pork, and penicillin?
BTW, If blue cheese and Penicillin had a fight, who would win?
Phbbbbt- no birthdays, indeed. The Jehovah's Witni can just go sit in the library while the rest of the class celebrates with birthday cake.
@ Snarky: is Witni plural for Witness? That's awesome. They can hang out with the Flying Elvi while we all have cake.
Maybe penecillin is a misspelled kind of penne pasta. I could go for some noodles with pork sauce topped with bleu cheese right about now.
It looks like the sad face is sinking beneath the ocean waves. I'd be sad if I were drowning.
@ Snarky...
I think our good friend Librarian would object to the view that her place of [assumed] employment is merely a place for uninteresting social cast-offs.
No Christmas, no birthdays, no anniversaries...no fun.
I guess I grokk the "no Christmas celebration" (after all, Cromwell outlawed it too, on the principle of "paganism"--ie if it's fun it must be a sin) but why can't you celebrate someone else's life? "Oh well, so you were born today however many years ago...well so were lots of other people. YOU'RE not special!"
Nice.
:( indeed.
wow, I'm allergic to blue cheese and birthdays too.
I have to make due with artificial birthday substitutes.
*bleu
I feel like it's a teacher too - one of those really excited ones, who luuuurves to plan class birthdays, but isn't allowed because it's against school policy, so she's super sad.
Or maybe, it's an equation: 2 allergic to penicillin +1 no pork +1 no bleu cheese = NO BIRTHDAYS!
@ Snarky ... yeah, the concept of "Library as place of deprivation or punishment" doesn't strike a very sonorous chord avec moi. On the other hand, I am sort of all in favor of not bringing birthday cake in amongst the books.
@ Feeling in coherent ... Well, you're mostly right about that (see above), but the kids in "The Breakfast Club" weren't uninteresting social cast-offs -- well, they weren't uninteresting.
That's not to accept that the Witni are social cast-offs, either. (although I atill don't want them knocking on my door)
I'm thinking this note was written by a mom whose pre-schooler's new play group was getting organized for the year. Other moms (or stay-at-home dads!) were passing the word about allergies and prohibitions amongst their little tykes.
Either that or this is another one of those grocery lists: moldy bread, raw meat, moldy cheese ....
I took Snarky's comment to mean the library is accepting of everyone; check your divisive personal identities at the door!
Haha! Witni/Elvi!! Did you see it? The Elvi.. large and multiplying rapidly, on the horizon! Scary!
I think this person is allergic to these things and NO BIRTHDAYS indeed, if these are consumed.
Ever again.
2 Allergic pennecillin,
1 no pork,
1 no bleu cheese,
and a partridge in a pear tree.
Ok, so I can see a teacher making a list of the kids who are allergic to these things..but tell me this: do you know any kids who actually like blue cheese? And pork...what what? Ok, and penicillin...is that a normal offering to students at school?
jeesh. Too many questions so early in the morning
'pene' like the pasta
'peni' like penis
I can see why she made the mistake...
@Geek, yup, that's the pural of Witness when used to denote the name of a follower of a specific religion.
@Feeling in coherent and Librarian, hold your horses. I did not say, nor imply, that a library was "merely a place for uninteresting social cast-offs." The library is a place of great wonder and knowledge, the portal to the very universe! It would not be proper to send the Jehovah's Witni to the office during cake time - that would be punishment and cause them shame. And you can't have them wandering the halls or handing out copies of The Watchtower on the playground. The library would be a safe, already supervised place for the kiddles.
This is from an odd little sandwich shop down the road called "No Birthdays!!" - it's an order for 3 Pork Peanut Butter and Bleu Cheese Jelly sandwiches - they refer to all entrees as "sang-witchs"
2 with Allergic Penicillin
1 without pork (they like creamy not chunky)
1 without Bleu Cheese
Bleu cheese *is* penecillin, isn't it?
Bleu cheese is made from Penicillium - a kind of Penicillin. Some people who are highly allergic to Penicillin can't eat bleu cheese.
That is, I can't see why they couldn't also eat pork...
no pork...EVER! (and certainly no bleu cheese with it!)
I loved being "punished" by being sent to the library. An excuse to read for an hour!! They twigged that and stopped doing it--drat. Then they would send me to the School Nurse's office...now that was punishment! Nothing to do but sit on a hard, straightbacked chair and stare at her. Ugh.
Does anyone remember that game show Debt, hosted by Wink Martindale? He would say, "Here are today's contesti," instead of "contestants." It was honestly my favorite part of the show.
In somewhat shocking news, I am allergic to penicillin, but eat bleu cheese all the time.
DAMNIT! I just got done making you a pork and bleu cheese birthday cake with penecillin frosting!
Nice, another homegrown Find. I promise you, I didn't write this.
I think the finder pretty much nailed it with his/her interpretation, but with one exception: The second item has nothing to do with religious dietary restrictions. The teacher is simply giving himself a reminder that one of his students has not yet reached the age of consent.
Just to be anal, and annoying, and to clarify for all, True Penicillin, the kind injected in your butt when you get cooties, is a yellow liquid discharged from fungus which grows on citrus fruit. Although it comes from the genus Penicillium which includes many different fungi including that found in several cheeses the only one with practical medicinal properties comes from citrus fungus. Class dismissed...:-P
These definitions of Birthday on the Urban Dictionary I kind of amusing...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term
since when do teachers administer antibiotics and feed pork and bleu cheese to students? i'd subscribe to the common theory better if it were a peanut allergy or something, which is kid is more likely to be exposed to in the classroom, though all allergies are on file i'm sure.
in elementary school, every week at lunchtime the lunchlady would call the names of everyone who had a birthday that week, and they got a free cookie. kids born in months over the summer were staggered over may and june. maybe this school should do that. it was lovely.
Kids born over the summer shouldn't drink so much that they stagger for two months. Hey, you weren't born during the school year! Get over it!!
Finsterton Smythe are you REALLY from Schenectady? I went to college there!
Anyways... this post is hysterical. I feel especially bad for the NO Birthday child :( I wonder what about a party they are allergic to?!?
Don't care what anyone else says, I love bleu cheese dressing. And I celebrate my bday (sometimes).
Can I come to the party?
P.s. I got the spam protection question wrong because I wrote "scissor" for "rock, paper, ....."
Ahh I remember no BDay's. What a sad day it always was. Hey but it is my birthday today and I am celebrating. How strange I would happen along this post.
I'm an ex Jehovah's Witness too (never heard the term "witni") and they don't celebrate because it's a form of 'people worship,' makes people greedy and is a new thing, pretty much. The only people who celebrated their birthday in the Bible were kings and murders always happened at them. Those were never good enough reason for me, I mean, why can't you just have cake, at least? But hey, those days are past me and I love me some cake now!
I don't know why so many are caught up on this being a teacher's note ... my guess is that some mother is throwing a Birthday Party for their kid and made the mistake of asking the mothers if their children were allergic to anything. The resulting barrage of phonecalls left her discouraged and disgusted (as most conversations with mothers will do). As she looked at her note, she came to an obvious conclusion.
Forget the whole mess! Hence the mad face (that's a mad face, not a sad face, wouldn't you say?). If it's a teacher and they get mad because of a student's religious upbringing, they should re-examine their choice of careers. Or move to a socialist state.
It was found in summer.
How bout it's a counselor's list re: allergies, food preferences, etc. jotted down just before picking up a batch of kids at the RR station.
Bummer that nobody's birthday happens during camp--our cabin can't have any of that fiiine reflector oven cake!
grew up there..would never ever ever ever ever go back...ever....not even for pork & penicillin birthday cake...
I don't think this has anything to do with children. It might have to do with someone who is a chaperone for a group of young adults, camp counselors, something like that. Perhaps birthday celebrations are discouraged among the counseling staff at Camp Whatalottaskeetos because it makes them too rowdy . . . A puzzle at any rate.
It looks like a list for an overnight field trip, to remind the teachers of what the kids can/can't eat while they're all off doing whatever kids do on overnight field trips.
She's sad cause there aren't any birthday's to celebrate on the trip. Awww...
Librarian, how does one go about becoming a librarian? Do you have to get any fancy degrees?
Have never understood why Jehovah's Witnesses won't let followers celebrate holidays or birthdays etc? I know they have reasons, but it boils down to believing that God is an asswhole who doesn't want mankind to have fun. Why would anyone believe in such a god? I don't want to pick on only the Jehovah's Witnesses because they aren't alone in believing God actually cares about such things as what you eat or how you dress or who sleeps in bed next to you.
God cares about how we treat each other. God cares about how we treat the World and animals and children. God wants us to try to make the World better than when we got on. God wants us to be happy. And to make other people happy, too.
If anyone's offended by what I wrote above, know I didn't mean to offend. I just honestly don't understand why people believe in an unhappy restrictive deity. It sucks a lot of pleasure out of life inho.
Oh and if you do write a unhappy,nasty offended response I won't reply. In fact I don't plan to reply to any responses to what I wrote, at all. So don't bother. Thanks.
OK, so typical of JW's to get all uppity about a few comments. Gawd even ex JDubs are still touchy. Oh and witni is a joke nothing more, nothing rude, get over it. Buttercup!
Finsterton... HAHAHA! Yeah I hear ya! BUT I did discover yesterday that the GE plant zip code is 12345, and apparently kids like to send their Santa letters to that zip code. SO... perhaps this is Santa's list reminding him that 2 of his reindeer still need their penicillin pills due to their allergic reactions to the sawdust from the workshop. One wants a salad for the road but with no bleu cheese, and one wants a sandwich before they head out, but NOT a pork one (any other kind is fine). Santa is extremely sad because no elves have a birthday on Christmas this year, but he'll make due because he is busy running these errands for the reindeer!
I like the double-exclam frowny face. I'm going to start using it.
Reminicient of the Soup Nazi: No Birthdays for you!!!!
I'm certainly glad he/she wasn't my teacher, if he/she can't even spell correctly.
I like the camp counselor idea. Maybe "no birthdays" means no birthdays in his/her group during the sesssion so there is no excuse to party. That would merit the emphatic frowny face
When I was a tiny little Womble many many years ago, kids who were having BD parties would distribute invitations to their friends before class or in class after lunch. If you weren't given an invitation and most everybody else was, it hurt. Particularly in the lower elementary classes. As the class "egghead" who also lived on the wrong side of town, I was often left out. I for one was glad when they decided that if you wanted to invite people you had to do it on your own time, not at school. However it was OK to bring cupcakes or cookies and hand them out, as long as there was enough for everyone and teacher, too.
Hey Orinoco, you wanna come to the coolest birthday party EVER? I'm campaigning like a rabid Found Fan to get it to coincide with a Found Event in my own little town.. and it's for one of the Biggest and Brightest Found Comment Rockstars of all......
stay tuned.
(in the meantime, my Mom sent Twinkies for everyone. dig in.)
(oh, and no it's not ME- I'm an April baby.)
@ Ashleigh in california dreaming ... (sorry about the delay in answering) ... no 'fancy degrees required ... a simple bachelor's degree in anything and then a simple master's in library science [MLS] (just about the easiest master's degree out there, at least when I got mine - 12 months, no thesis) ... of course, some folks work in libraries without the almighty MLS, but all proper librarians look down on them (no, not really) because the job ads for the better jobs all begin "must have an accredited MLS...." ... still, if you have a fancy degree, a foreign language, a head for trivia, and hot computer skills, it all helps ... my advice is to go to a college library near you and ask someone at the desk about an MLS and how to get one ... good luck!
I'm up to here in "Anii"