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January 09, 2009 |
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The Ballad of Jennifer and Brian
FOUND by Erik
in Wells, Nevada
Found in a mud puddle in a Gas Station parking lot.
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Resolutions July 30, 2006 |
Dear John May 10, 2007 |
From One Extreme... January 12, 2006 |
Man on Grass September 15, 2002 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Brian, how DARE you leave the TV on for me! How utterly inconsiderate! You should have left me sitting in a silent, darkened room. The nerve...
Further more, Rrian, NEVER go lay down or have any feelings again.
Jennifer Jennifer.
jenny's on the rag. she's gotta be.
I love that she printed and signed her name. Who does that in a hand-written note to their boyfriend?
Why capitalize gas station and not mud puddle?
What woman ever admits to being wrong and in writing on top of that? Brian should have held on to this beauty. Oh well.
Mud puddle, eh? Well I guess we know what Brian thinks of this apology...
But if he got up and left the minute she sat down, she might be right that he didn't want to be with her.
I too find the "double signing" odd...printed, then a signature. Secretary? Lawyer? Hm.
Maybe a rough draft. The double signing was to see which looked better. The scratch out will also be eliminated on the final copy. That also explains in a puddle.
the mud puddle speaks volumes
Dear Jennifer Jennifer,
If you really loved me that much, then you could handle it when I was "pissed off." Even though I wasn't being that last night. Everything doesn't have to have some deep, dark hidden meaning. I was just tired last night and went to bed. I wasn't sending you some 'message'!
What I don't like is how you flip things around so it's MY fault. Look at what you wrote: "I sounded pissy ... when you are pissed off." Jennifer Jennifer, YOU are the one who was pissy and pissed off (and your vocab makes it sound like we're in the musical 'Urinetown' - jeez, I thought you were an English major!).
On the other hand, except for the part where you define MY feelings incorrectly, I appreciate your having sent such a thorough "I message." Maybe that old "Parent Effectiveness Training" book you picked up will actually work its magic.
Your ever lovin' Brian Brian
My wife works with Jenifer Jenifer.
apoligizey not axcepteds
"when you got up to lay down..."
that part sounds really weird, like an oxymoron.
Brian and Jennifer Jennifer are actually yappy nervous little dogs who watch TV.
Jennifer Jennifer was PHS (Pre-Heat Syndrome)
Brian is tired of humping her when the humans are away - he would rather be playing poker with his buddies....
http://tinyurl.com/7ontkp
Jennifer felt so insecure while watching "The Hills" with Brian, he left her, she was sure he was going to have sweet fantasies of LC or Spencer (perhaps???).She felt compelled to write her feelings right away and leave it in his bed. AHHHHH young love.
co-dependence is treatable...
As interpreted by James Brown
Hey feel Sorry!
Get on up -
go lay on down!
I was hurt
luv be-in witchu
Get on up -
go lay on down!
Heya got pissy
Get on up -
go lay on down!
I love u so much
Can't handle it!
Get on up -
go lay on down!
Heya dontbe pissy!
Get on up -
go lay on down!
Get on up -
go lay on down!
Take it to the bridge....
"(as if I was watching it)" is her continuation of being bitchy and not letting go of Brian's inconsiderate TV etiquette while apologizing...typical woman.
Seriously, why do so many people spell apologize that way?
One comma and one period for the entire note? yiiikes.
Jennifer, Uhmmm ok, yea that really hurt me and stuff. You know what is it that thing called? My emotions or something. So did you want to go to the bedroom and make-up?
Sounds like they fell asleep watching TV and he went to bed without waking her up. That's what happens with me and my boyfriend anyway. We always wake each other up if one of us falls asleep on the couch, but I have left him asleep in the living room with the TV and lights turned off once or twice when he wouldn't get up. Not something worth being a bitch about.
However, my ex used to leave me asleep on the couch, TV and lights on, without even attempting to wake me up. That was because he was selfish and thoughtless. That used to irritate me to no end. But instead of writing a note about it, I would just tell him, "Gee, thanks for letting me sleep on the couch until 4 o'clock in the morning. I'm going to feel great at work today."
You sound like a real catch Susie. Was there a empty bottle of wine and pizza box in front of you? Was your falling asleep on the couch your ex's fault? Maybe he got tired of walking you back to bed. Take some responsibility for your actions, that's what's wrong with this country today..."it's always someone elses fault".
WAIT!!!
Isn't that Jennifer Anniston's handwriting?
Is this "Brian" her recent main squeeze, Brian Bouma?
Call People Magazine, quick!
Hmmm let me see, uh Susie I mean Dear Susie, I am sorry for being selfish and thoughtless and stuff. So do you want to go the bedroom and make-up?
Oh,Susie Susie,So sorry sorry.
Dear Jennifer,
It's too late to 'pologize, it's too la-te.
Your BFF,
terrieissovery
Why are you guys picking on Susie? Lighten up, it's Friday.
I think Jennifer is kind of a moron. If she can't stand it when Brian is mad at her, then she should stop making such a big deal out of stuff. And the double signature is annoying. Maybe she should have the letter notarized on top of it.
(is that how you spell notarized?)
It's Fiiday already? I,m sorry Susie.241 241
He's just not that into you, Susie.
Continuing to beat on Susie: Susie baby did you ever think your ex needed to get some sleep too, and didn't want to deal with your perpetual crankiness when he tried to bed you? And as for you, People are Pretty Edgy for a Friday, yeah, it's been a real fun first week of the year, so the day of the week is irrelevant. What do you do, take Friday- Sunday and part of Monday as your "me time"?
ARRGGGHH! I hate these kind of notes. Makes me feel shitty.
I think Jennifer Jennifer sounds emotionally abused and trapped. She should stop being afraid of pissing off Brian and drop him. Also, Frank in Beans, you should go f yourself. Yeah, that's right, f. You know, it's the little things. If Susie has found something that her new guy does that makes her happy (getting her up off the couch) that her old guy didn't do, then good for her.
ps- I know a Stacy Stacy. For real.
Wow. A mud puddle in a gas station parking lot has got to be rock bottom for a find. Somehow it seems a fitting place to have found this note.
Highplainsdrifter, I'm singin' your James Brown remix. That's good!
And now I'm gonna go get up and lay down. Or get up to go lay down.. or.. whatever..
Frank, you sound like a real prince. Good luck finding a new job or lover or whatever you're missing that's making you so crabby.
Oh nifty, now I've got "Jennifer Juniper" playing in my head. Thanks a bunch, guys. :(
Jeez, what's with all the hostility? Saying Susie or jennifer must be in an abusive relationship is the equivalent or crying racism when it's unmerited; a catchall for things completely under the control of the whiners, in this case.
Three guesses as to what Richard Girth's (in Texas, natch) formerly most-often-used posting name coulda been...
@ bored: I don't know about Dick's girth (!), but the beanie weanie casserole is way too salty.
I agree with Susie.
Me and my husband often fall asleep in the livingroom, watching TV, in each others arms (yes, even after 6 years together =P ). When on wake up, we usually wake up the others and go to bed together.
I think if he was living me there, alone, all lights up and the TV still on, I'll be a bit hurt. I mean you sleep so much better in your bed, the lights off in -hopefully- silence. With your loved one.
Maybe it's not the first time she mentions it to him either.
I'm with you Susie. I would rather be hurt if my husband didn't wake me up.
Not to the point of being "pissy", but I will prolly ask my hubby why he didn't woke me up, and to please next time to do so.
Is anyone else bothered a little bit when one's signature doesn't stray too far from their printed name? I feel the signature presents the perfect opportunity to totally give one's name a new look complete with unintelligible loops and such.
Bottom line: not only does Jennifer not have a reason to be a bitch at all here, but she also wasted perfectly good ink by "signing" her name void of any signaturely characteristics.
I'm disappointed in you, Jen. :(