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January 06, 2009 |
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Always With Love, Dad
FOUND by Erika Flory
in Philadelphia, PA
This was in a library book I checked out the other day. I've come across papers that others have left in books before, but none this poignant. I hope he's OK.
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Shouldn't You Be... December 03, 2006 |
Season's Greetings August 13, 2005 |
Went to Cabin September 16, 2007 |
Always Imagine June 25, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Sure, Dad. I'll make sure you're put away reeeeal nice.
The end surprised me because I was reading it as a note-to-self. The fact that it is written to his son changes it tremendously. It's very sad :(
He is so not okay...he may look okay and act okay a lot of the time, but this note seeps anger and resentment. "Where is the son...God gave me a son." Obviously he is not pleased with the way his idealised son turned out as a real human. "God gave me a son with a good mind; where is it?" Sonny didn't measure up to Dad's expectations.
I could go along with, maybe Sonny is a drunk/drug user/wastrel, but for the line: "I help those who help themselves." I thought that was God's job...or does Dad put himself in God's place? Should we all bow down, and particularly Sonny?
Be careful, there, Dad...somebody may "put you away nice" before you're actually dead. Somewhere with padded walls and bars on the windows. And even if it's not quite that bad, threatening people with their own mortality is not the best way to gain their affectionate attention.
it almost seems to me that he's writing as if he's "god".
5.) "I help those who will help themselves."
But no. Obviously "son" is an addict, and Dad's at the end of that road of enabling. (well, not at the end, obviously, since it appears that this not accompained some money.. but close to it.)
Where is rock bottom? Good Q. But it all depends on what he's already lost, what he stands to lose, and how soon everyone stops throwing money his way in response to his myriad of sob stories...
E!! Please apply that to "not" in the above post.
I also wanted to say that I'm intrigued by the paper this is written on. It looks like it could be pink construction paper that someone wrote/colored on with crayola (or other water soluble) markers, then it was water damaged, and then re-sourced by Dad to write the note. Was it something that son made, years ago? is there significance there? If there IS, would Son even notice, or would any signifigance be lost?
Or is it watercolor paper that someone washed pink, then applied the other colors? The paper is lovely. The note is heart-wrenching.
And WHAT was the book? Was it checked out by the Father or the Son? Shed some light, Erica, if you please.
I went to this concert!
This is the play list for the opening set at Cat Stevens' last live concert. What memories. Thanks, Found!
Just for the record, the adage "God helps those who help themselves" is not from the Bible; it's a quote from Thomas Jefferson.
This is intriguing. It is very sad but I'm not sure if I feel sorry for the dad, or the son.
My uncle was an obnoxious boor - he knew it all, and the only way to do anything right was to do it his way. I could see him writing something like this to his own son, if his son made different choices than he would have liked, and the son needed some money...Uncle was ever the "victim" of an "ungrateful" son simply because the son did what he wanted, not what DAD wanted (think of the guy in Dead Poets Society who couldn't please his dad...)
OR - on the other hand, perhaps this is truly the note of a heartbroken dad over his deadbeat son. who knows. either way you look at it, it's sad.
Possibility: this is just the sermon notes taken by an elderly parishioner listening to a Wednesday night sermon on Luke 15:11-32, the Parable of the Prodigal Son, at her local Baptist or Methodist church.
Pastor Z, back me up on this!
whoa. 2 weird finds for the day.
Librarian, I am jealous if you really saw did see Cat Stevens' last live concert. He was one of the best...
Now I gotta go to work..
I find this even sadder than the previous one.
Since the date is Sept. 12, I was thinking about Sept. 11. Rock bottom is when the towers fell. The son was in them. Or was running away fast, looking behind at the dust chasing him, catching up to him. The writer is elderly, waiting in an apartment, doors and windows sealed shut to keep out the dust, for his son to come and help him.
But this find has nothing to do with 9-11.
@Fooch ... sorry, I was making that up. These lines sounded a little like some of his lyrics. Would have been good, though.
@Fooch: I think you'll find that Yusef Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) released an album in 2006. It's called "An Other Cup." I have no idea if it's any good, but there you have it.
Rock Bottom - that's in the ocean somewhere, way down deep. I saw it on an episode of Spongebob once.
the way this looks to me is as an elderly(the shakiness of the handwriting) man who is tired, sad, yes a bit resentful, but mostly worried.
and I get the feeling of someone who needs to write things down to keep their thoughts straight.
this is a kind of like a pros & cons list of his (somewhat scattered)thoughts about yet again giving his son the money he's asking for.
#1; "what is rockbottom?" he thinks his son might need to hit rock bottom before he'll change, but what is rock bottom? and would the son really survive hitting it?
#2; "...to put me away nice" an elderly man with declining health, who always envisioned his son taking care of him when the time came. but finds himself still bailing out the son, and fears for both of their futures.
#3; good example of the writers wondering mind, starts out almost like a diary entry then poses an obvious question about the money
#4; he knows his son has a "good mind", but isn't using it, and he just can't understand how his bright son could still be acting this way.
#5; "I help those that... " I think the writer is kind of voicing what he thinks gods opinion would be here, not saying that himself.
#6; and here it jumps to talking "to" his son, in the rhetorical way you'd "talk to" someone who's not there. wishing that his son would "look back" and see "time catching up", because he knows the son can't keep going the way he has been, forever.
then the way he ends it is more of the writers unfocused thoughts, as though by rhetorically addressing it to his son, he automatically finished the way he would a letter. also, perhaps feeling bad about the somewhat negative nature of the thoughts in the note, and felt the need to make his feelings clear in the end.(the same way someone talking to them self may feel the need to try to phrase things clearly enough that even an nonexistent listener would fully understand)
He is trying to guide his son, but comes of sounding like a jerk. Sorry dude you Dad couldn't be more understanding and supportive, but at least you have a Dad that cares enough to write you this letter, mine wouldn't even waste a stamp on me.
Dear "Dad",
So sorry to disappoint, but welcome to the end of an era. That era being the one where the elders automatically assumed that the younger (or someone) would take care of them. The era has passed, like powdered wigs, cannons,
slide-rulers, newspaper, payphones & and some day - handwriting.
I scanned through you're rather self-serving list intended to admonish me, and gain access to some emotion that would get me to 'take care of you.' <<<game show buzzer sound>>>> That ain't happening. I went to the well, and you know what? I came up dry. You are, as we all are, on your own.
It's not my fault that you invested in the Internet stocks of the 90's, car companies, Enron, or the sub-prime mortgage market back in the 00's. See after putting myself through college, and saving my own money, for my own retirement, I can actually tell you to piss off you ill-prepared jaded, stupid, old fart. Call social services - they'll get you a taxi to the home.
Rockbottomingly best regards,
Wed, 12th Sept., Jr.
P.S. I wish you and mother had been more imaginative when in came to naming me.
@Librarian - watched Harold & Maude again just last weekend...
"Rock Bottom" means a chain of brew-pub restaurants;
"Rock Bottom" means a band from East St. Louis, IL;
"Rock Bottom" means a chain of drug stores that was bought out by Duane Reade drugstores in the New York City region a decade or so ago;
"Rock Bottom" means what this son is apparently being to his aged parent.
@Hiplainsdrifter ... haven't seen that movie in years. Kind of makes me want to go to a stranger's funeral.
@CLOVER
FYI - the last couple calendar years that had a wed 9/12 were '07, '01, '90, '84, '79
so it could have very well been in response to 9/11
the handwriting is very Russian-- i'm assuming English is this man's second language. he's probably an immigrant.
'Been there' and the follow-up 'livin' nailed it.
Anyone watch "Intervention" on A&E? This looks like a note that one of the participants would have jotted down...you know, they have to "bring rock bottom to the user" and make these terrible emotional pleas to the addict to get them into rehab.
Maybe, just maybe...
I'm not sure how the dad is the prick here. A bit judgmental perhaps, but it sounds to me like the son has been an ass for a while. And he's been taking advantage of his dad's finances for years. You want to do drugs, then piss your OWN money away.
Clover and Adam--My first reaction after seeing the date was, "Oh, the day after THE September 11." It's strange how automatic such a thought can be. I don't normally carry a perpetual calendar in my brain, and I didn't lose anyone that day, but it appears I'll be remembering until I'm old what day of the week it happened. I'm sure quite a few of us will.
Definitely an older man by the handwriting. He does come off a bit harsh, but, having had a dad who sounds like his son, I can understan his frustration. And, yes, the times have changed to the point where parents can't necessarily expect their children to "put them away," shit, it must be scary to be older a\\, probably w/o a retirement plan or pension and have to wonder what's going to happen to you...
Sad, sad, sad.
My thought was that the rambling and need to make a list was perhaps an indication of Alzheimer's.
And Harold & Maude is (hands down) my favorite movie ever.
Harold and Maude!! The best!! (this movie gets brought up in the posts about once a month).
However, since we are on the topic of crazy, I watched Sunset Blvd last night..the best of old crazy movies.
Zach Galifianakis has a cat named Stevens. Just sayin'.
Dad,
Got your note. I think you are being a bit hard on me and yourself... 'Rock-bottom'?!?!?? C'mon, the car ran out of gas and your fishing pole slipped into the river. I'll get you another.
You dated this like a suicide note...You always get so emotional and write all fucked up when you touch all-over my LSD laced blotter paper. I know you like the colors, but you obviously had a bad trip. Your not gonna die!! No one is "coming for you"...
Picnic on Saturday?
Dad,
Got your note. I think you are being a bit hard on me and yourself... 'Rock-bottom'?!?!?? C'mon, the car ran out of gas and your fishing pole slipped into the river. I'll get you another.
You dated this like a suicide note...You always get so emotional and write all fucked up when you touch all-over my LSD laced blotter paper. I know you like the colors, but you obviously had a bad trip. Your not gonna die!! No one is "coming for you"...
Picnic on Saturday?
i just thought this was incredibly sad...
the handwriting is definitely a much older man's...
kinda look's like my 80+ great-uncle's but i know his son is better than that...and there's no way that he was in a library in PA :P
"Your no son, your no son, your no son of mine" man I love that song. Maybe this is Phil Collins outline to a new song.
@Just me in my house--you forgot to make the farting noises after "Rock" and "Bottom". "Rock-fart-bottom-fart". SpongeBob is the only way to go.....
Statement #6 bugs me. You can't see time, Dad, and it can't catch up with you. I know you're trying to be poetic, but it just sounds dumb.
This looks like my grandpa's handwriting.
I hate drug addicts, assholes.
Maybe he doesn't even have a son, maybe the old guy's just touched with age.
This is one of my favorite Found items, ever. It reminds me of the poem "Any Man's Advice to His Son" by Kenneth Fearing. Dad intially seems pretty harsh...but the more I read it the more I see a letter full of love. I find myself coming back to reread it often. It makes me a little sad and happy at the same time.
I'm not buying it. The writing appears to be shaky on purpose. I know elderly people and their writing does not start smooth and then go shaky. Contrived BS - another fake.