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January 16, 2009 |
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Bathroom Break?
FOUND by Crystal
in St. Louis, Missouri
When I got back to work after my vacation, this note was waiting in the ladies' room, on the door of the middle stall (this toilet does have a weak flush). My friend told me it had been up for a while and she thought her manager had put it up (from the handwriting).
I left it for a couple days, thought about throwing it away, then realized it was perfect for FOUND. Enjoy, and don't forget to flush -- it's only courteous. Thx!
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Come Clean July 08, 2005 |
I Don't Want to... December 20, 2005 |
What to Expect November 17, 2006 |
Not Necessarily in... December 01, 2002 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
That's assuming everyone who uses that toilet is a lady. Perhaps there are a number of uncouth women using the facilities.
And PLEASE wipe your nasty dribbles off the toilet seat. Do you know how disgusting it is to sit in your slop?
As the old saying goes, "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweety and wipe the seaty".
I'm not a lady, and even I knew ladies always double flush.
it's like Miss Manners first rule of toilet etiquette.
All there is in the men's room: Bullshit. And no sign tellin ya how to flush it, either.
Is this post a cooperative effort with the Pizza Hut ad's on the side? The one that has the subliminal imagery of a huge bloated used tampoon?
And remember to conserve water - If it's brown flush it down - if it's yellow let it mellow.
@Farmer - No, in the men's room there are 2 signs one over each urinal ...
one reads "Look down the joke is in your hands" while the other reads "Unless you want to continue shaking hands with the unemployed get back to work."
The MGMT }:/
we have a "employee-only" restroom that we let customers use anyways, and they always trash the place.
every bathroom needs a sign to remind ladies that cleaning up after yourselves is important.
And ladies ... remember to put the seat down!
B-b-b-b-ut WE WANT TO LIVE!!!!
So be kind and leave us be.
And remember to be courteous by making small talk to the person in the next stall. And if you can, please spare a square.
i just love toilet humor.
@Monkey: Miss Manners! She is fantastic- I love that she sometimes politely rips apart her readers for asking stupid questions. She is elegant even while ridiculing others.
I used to work in a building that was really old and had ancient plumbing. Women were required to NOT flush any tampons, as it all plugged the system.
Actually, since those little applicators are made of plastic (aren't they?), they should never be flushed, right?
oh, and because I'm a nice guy
I took down the
"For a good time call the
Librarian @ 1 XXX- XXX-XXXX..."
note that someone stuck on the wall ...
and wash your hands!
After a few "laydee's drinks," it's hard to be courteous, but like all good laydees, Emily and Florence do their best.
ahhhhhh! my eyes are exploding fireworks!! ahhhhh!!!
This would be perfect for PassiveAggressiveNotes.com, too.
@Sammy Davis Jr--some of them are made out of cardboard that falls apart when wet and some don't have any applicators at all! (Fingers are supposed to be "nature's" applicator--barf.)
@Just me--some "lady" where I work dribbles on the FLOOR in front of the toilet, too. It's pretty gross to have to look on the floor before you can decide whether to use a nice, corporate, high-rise bathroom.
Oh, shit...I forgot.
@ hiplainsdrifter ... wow, I've heard of things being triple X-rated, but you've got me at decimal X-rated (which, thanks to Dewey, could be on target, I guess)
*PLOP*
Important
Please remember that we are men & men always splash on the floor, leave the seat up, and don't flush. Please remember that there is no one on this earth other than you.
Hey I'm only seeing one find today. Is that all there is, or is my connection bad?
The foulest thing I have ever seen was in a crowded Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day. The bar had ONE urinal and there sits some drunk chick taking a leak. I wonder what the urinal had to offer that a squat in the bushes didn't.
..panty crickets!!!
http://foundmagazine.com/comments/2072
http://foundmagazine.com/comments/559
http://foundmagazine.com/comments/1173
and of course:
http://foundmagazine.com/comments/695
Finally, this one's not "exactly" related, but Our Dear Puckhot's comment at the end of it all made me laugh so hard I.. oh never mind.
http://foundmagazine.com/comments/2237
I know it's just me but I love it when you're in the stall and you hear somebody else come in and that sound that comes...that pfffft sound. It reminds me that everybody poops and whatever. However classy we're trying to pretend we are that pfffft sound reminds us that we all have a hole in our ends. That's my thought for the day. Holey ends.
I'm surprised no one has commented on the MANAGER's use of text-ease. "Thx" with smiley exclamation points (and eyelashes). Isn't this inappropriate for a manager in the workplace?
I was first assuming this was an office building, thus the manager would have been in a coporate environment, but I guess the finder might work at the local 7-11 or McDonald's. Still, a manager should be more professional!
Nice handwriting, though.
@Feeling--I have 3 brothers and now have a husband and a son, so I know about men's restroom habits. I was referring to the LADIES room at my work, fwiw.
Ahhh, Cagey also brought to mind that co-worker who wants to follow you into the bathroom and keep talking to you from outside the stall. AND she expects you to keep responding!
Like anything she has to say can't wait 30 seconds for you to pee! Do guys do this too?
I often have to get up & go in the night, and my awakening is almost always preceded by a dream snippet in which I'm either searching for the ladies room and can't find it....or, worse, I find it, but every toilet has floaters, a floating gob of water-logged T.P. or has overflowed onto the floor. So I really appreciate a sign like this.
The other thought was that just because the sign is posted doesn't mean we're going to fall in line and do what it says. I'm just in that kind of an, "Oh, yeah?" kind of mood. I think I will purposefully leave a floater today. (I know. Gross!!)
Only "ladies" flush toilets? What's with the over-emphasis...men or "gentlemen" don't flush? This manager needs some EDNA training, stat!
Pissshh. I don't know. I don't think proper "ladies" leave notes implying that some "ladies" ain't so lady-like.
Maybe it's not signed THX
may it's actually JINX!
@Librarian - So it wasn't a phone number? It was actually where to find you in the stacks via the Dewey Decimal system?
How come I never see the pizza hut ad- only domino's? How come I never see the chrome messenger bag ad-- only Mirrors, starring Keifer Sutherland? The other Find is up. --->
After reading this message, I became flushed with excitement for I knew the true and sinister nature of the message contained within the note above. This note is actually a cryptic message left by the last person who failed to "flush completely." You'll note the two toilet brushes in the bottom right drawing, disguised as eyebrows, rising from the toilet below them, warning all who follow of the dire consequences, should they not heed the warning.
The note, a warning to all those ladies in the women's room that if they don't flush completely (although I'm not quite sure how one would flush partially), the toilet monster has a means of locomotion from the toilet to carry on its grizzly attacks. One can always tell when the toilet monster has inflicted its insidious attacks upon the helpless, for the foul odor left behind is its distinct calling card.
(Note: The toilet monster does in fact visit the men's "facilities," however, the notes are far more straight forward than those in the women's rooms. The notes in the men's rooms often appear as hieroglyphic forms of communications and/or seven-digit number combinations rather than cryptic messages. The toilet monster knows that men communicate more effectively using pictographs and numbers.
While the rumor exists that the toilet monster carries out ruthless murder campaigns, the truth of the matter is that it only promulgates such fallacious nonsense to instill fear in those who visit its "facilities." You see, the common chestnut "it smells like someone died in here" was actually a "movement" begun by the toilet monster to create an atmosphere of fear. The reality is that the monster merely attacks the olfactory of its victims, often leaving behind lingering discomfort, or in the worst cases, activating the gag response of those more sensitive to the monster's presence. In extreme cases, the monster is able to cause people to succumb to an intense feeling of shame and embarrassment.
BEWARE the toilet monster, it truly exists.
Please flush twice it's a long way to the cafeteria!
Pavel: YESSSSSSSSS!! Pullleeeeze wash hands.
@Bob Conner - and that's why they've been asked to flush completely.
See the thing is.. the tinkling sprinklers can swipe at the seat and remove their offending drips and droplets, but unless they're doing so with some sort of germicidal/antibacterial
/antimicrobial sanitizer, it's still not clean. You're operating with a false sense of security if you think that sopping up the drops will make it all okay.
Hey Bob! Call Maria!!
Mr Spock: Scottie? I was was just in the Enterprise Command Deck Unisex bathroom, first the poop spray is empty, and I found the Captain's Log floating in the 2nd facility compartment bowl.
Scottie: (Scottish Brogue) Ack! Whadya expect -the second stall is real low flooow, and it always jams up... but I lef' a nowt asking the ladies to please check that they'd flush'd as Uhura was forever cloggin' the works up with her tampoon applicators and it was bitch to cleen up when she had a heevy flow.
Urine is nearly sterile (except in cases of UTI or kidney infection). Just an FYI. I still don't want to sit in it on a seat thankyouverymuch.
Of course, I'm not a big fan of sitting on public toilet seats under any circumstances. "Hovering" is the only physical exercise I get most days. And aiming the stream to keep the seat neat is a great coordination builder.
So, basically, peeing in a public toilet is my fitness regime.
What about on a really cold day, when you go into the restroom and sit down, and the toilet seat is really, really warm? I hate that worse than sitting on a cold seat.
LOL! The main reason I laugh is because we actually had a sign similar to this at my old job, someone just couldn't figure out the whole flushing thing lol geeez!
My guy friend of mine once told me he saw a sign in the men's bathroom that said, "Men stand closer to the urinal its further than you think..." lol :)
Mountain Girl!! That is so wierd! I thought I was the only one with recurrent overflowing/clogged toilet dreams! What do you suppose it means?
I used to have those dreams as well, except in mine, the only usable toilet is in an open room in front of other people. I heard a "dream doctor" on the radio talking about it. The caller had the same problem as me! So I listened intently. It means that you have something you are hiding from someone. And you need to bring it into the open. The caller in question had never told her parents she was gay. That was not my problem. I decided it was probably that I had been keeping the fact that I was heavily tattoed from my dad. I told him a few years ago (and he wasn't disappointed in me, with I thought he would be) and I haven't had the dream since.
Does this really constitute a "find"? First of all, it wasn't lost. It was posted on a bathroom wall in a private business where the OP is employed. Secondly, there's no mystery as to who wrote it or why-- not only is that easily gleaned from the text of the note, it's the supervisor of the person that sent it in. Other than being the basis for some scatalogical humor, it lacks the magic of a real find.
Oh Hush now.
@Purslane: I've tried to figure it out many times. I think for me, it means I'm looking for something vitally important (i.e. a place to relieve myself), but once I find it, it turns out to be crap, useless. It could be an indication that I have needs/dreams that aren't being met. Does that fit your situation?
@Turbo: Your dream sounds similar to ones in which the dreamer is naked in front of people (like in school, church, etc.), which I suffer with too. Yes, I'm hiding something. A secret bank account & a plan to go back to the mountains real soon.
Purslane and Mountain Girl, I have the SAME exact dream about once a week! It's horrible! I always just assumed it meant my body needed to pee but wasn't allowed to due to sleep, so the brain came up with the gross unavailable toilet scenario/dream. But maybe you're right...maybe it is something more deep. Unmet needs...hmmm...
The only thing that bothers me about this note is the fact that some bird was too lazy to write out the entire word "Thanks."
I love this person's handwriting!