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March 04, 2009 |
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I Don't Get Paid To Sit On Babies
FOUND by Gary
in Rhode Island
Found this hidden in between several folded pages inside of a textbook in my English class. Seems like an in-class journal entry at first, but then you notice the giant F---. Probably a joke between friends. I'd love to know where this spawned from.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
The author certainly knows how to back up his opinion with facts.
Didn't we see this essay's older brother a few weeks ago? The people burned books, this is an example of burning books, burning books is a symbol of not liking books, etc.
Lucky enough for me, I do get paid to sit on babies. There's quite the underground black market for that sort of thing. I wouldn't recommend it for Sabrina, though. Or Mary.
It gets an A+++++++ in my book. This paper is absolutely jam-packed with truth.
I especially like the "Explain, respond, connect" part.
e thought there would be no harm, but in the middle of the night, in deep sleep, she rolled over on him and he suffocated. This is more comm
The quote sounds like something the Terminator would have said to Sarah Connor.
The Terminator -- being rather uni-directional -- did not clearly understand that making sure Sarah Connor's son, John, grew to maturity also included babysitting from time to time while Sarah went out to do girly things: going to karate practice; practicing her large weapons firing; getting her mullet combed out and her American flag t-shirt cleaned and ironed.
Sarah patiently explained (for the umpteenth time) that baby-sitting did not actually involve sitting on babies. Then she was "outta there".
"I'll be back," she grunted. Over her shoulder all she heard was the muscle man shouting "Good line. Can I use it? And don't call me 'Termy'. I don't like it."
Hey, can we grade each other's comments now?
What can be more productive than sitting on babies?
Jeesh...
It's so difficult for me to find a comfortable baby to sit on with my bad back.
You call this a paragraph?
A semicolon, you dolt!
(reads this paper)
Poetry, sheer poetry!
obviously this paper was written before the "no F's and no grading in red pen" rule for teachers came into play...the --- is pretty redundant too!
I don't think a teacher graded this one. Teachers grade many, many papers, day in and day out. Their marks on graded papers are done with a quick, precise flair. This looks like somebody's preschool sibling laboriously printed the F and then drew a wobbly circle around it.
Also I doubt a teacher would add a minus after an F (certainly not three). I mean, you can't get any lower than an F (failure), can you?
Besides, according to the grades we routinely see on Finds, this brilliant little essay would surely have earned the student at least a B-.
I think they should add another grade to the grading scale. NE = no effort. And schools should implement a strict rule that any homework earning NE, D or F has to be reworked as many times as needed to bring the grade up to at least a C. Or, guess what, F = you flunk. As in "say bye-bye to your BFFs because you're not passing to the next grade with them." I bet a lot of these lazy, wise-cracking brats would finally get it, if they were facing the prospect of graduating from high school at age 20 or 22.
I got your reference, Geek. :)
Sounds like this kid would be good at making posts on FOUND someday....
Is this the OCTO-MOM's Journal?
Hiplainsdrifter, nice! Way to make it current and relevant. Although, from what I hear, Octomom's getting paid for it.
Don't sit on them there babies...sell the little critters!
I think the American Apparel girl with the blazer and no pants sits on babies.
I think the F--- is actually F_ _ _ as a part of a easy game of swear word hangman.
Katy was a timid girl, writing everything she heard people say. Mary and Sabrina, louder and obnoxious girls, were sitting next to her in English discussing babysitting. Sabrina asked if Mary sat on babies, and Mary said "I don't get paid to sit on babies." Katy, delighted by such golden eavesdropping material, wrote it down. "Hey, what's that?" asked Sarina, taking it. Remembering their daily "Explain, respond, connect" quotes in English, she wrote a response for this quote just like she wrote responses to all the quotes, this being one of her best responses yet. She tried to write in as close to Katy's handwriting as she could. Grabbing it, Mary declared it an "F---," writing the grade in red ink. Katy grew up to be a successful author, Sabrina a signature-copier in the black market, and Mary a gym teacher.
*Sabrina
explain, respond, connect (your butt to a baby's head)
thanks for clarifying that for me, Troy. All day I've been wondering what curmecl means.
I have a question: How can you people on Found sign in with different names? It seems there are a slew of new name everyday..although I think that you aren't new at all.
I must be missing something.
(love you , Farmer)
Honestly, I don't think I would have done much better given this assignment.
How does one respond to "I don't get paid to sit on babies" ?
Is it just me, or did it take anyone else a few comments and five minutes later to realize the pun on "babysitting?"
Lolita, if you're not logged in, you can type in whatever name/location your little heart desires.. and it will show up in black. (ovcoarse your posts won't be credited to your profile, but really, who wants Big Brother Found tracking our every move anyway? LOL)
I'm registered here at Found, but rarely post while logged in.
Could someone explain Geek's reference to me? Must have something to do with Monty Python?
I thought this was an essay from a state funded parenting class.Don't sit on your baby it won't pay
Ok. Thanks bored..I get it now...
The quote seems familiar, like it's from a book that people read in elementary school. It sounds like something someone would say to a younger sibling who still interprets everything literally.
@not in the know: It's a quote from "A Christmas Story". The fantasy scene where the teacher reads Ralphie's essay on what he wants for Christmas.
I love that movie.
Aha. I've never watched that movie. Last Christmas, friends and relatives threatened to strap me down and force me to watch it, since it's a modern day classic, and it's on for like 96 hours straight, before, during and after the celebration of the birth of the Bebby Jesus... but somehow I got out of it.