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August 24, 2007 |
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NO DRINKING ALLOWED!
FOUND by Rene Romero
in San Antonio, Texas
I found this napkin in the lobby of an IHOP.
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The Not Rotten Thing October 16, 2005 |
An Easy Shot April 04, 2002 |
A Tiger Behind... March 29, 2006 |
Cute and Every Thing December 26, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
mancott n. 1. an adult boycott; 2. a gender-specific place to rest, traditionally constructed of wood and canvas; 3. a flavor of Jelly Belly that combines two popular fruits.
Welcome back, Found!
ummm, showering is not optional.
Where is everyone? Is there some issue with the Comments?
3. NOT to be confused with the small lexingtion ship or the medium-sized one.
I read it two ways......as optional or optimal. I vote for optimal. Especially if you're going to try to score......
is this all in the same day? I dont like agendas.
No Drinking Allowed?!
Gayness!
That doesn't sound like fun at all.
LOL! This reminds me of the drunken, late-night planning sessions of my youth - also carried out at IHOP. Hope they had a great time.
Not many comments. I read the shower as 'optimal' too. I see showering as very important, optimal. Whew! Good thing I am reminded to see the BIG Lexington ship.
I'm hoping th elack of comments is Found staff finally decided to take control of the argueing back and forth and ban certain people.
Yea. In my dreams.
No drinking allowed and s/he is supposed to have fun? Poshhhhh.
Sorry about the downtime today, folks-- had to do a little site-updating and other insanely fun technical stuff.
Enjoy Rene's find!
So he/she is giving themselves an hour or more for breakfast, but shower . . . optional?
What the world needs now is more optimoanal showers.
I think "optimal" is an afterthought re: getting up by 9 AM...which might explain the hour and a half allotted for breakfast and the shower. "Be done by 10:30" I read as "be ready to go!"
The BIG ship. Not the baby ship, or the medium sized ship, the one that's juuuuusst riiiiight.
It would drive me nuts to have an agenda without an end time… It says I’m supposed to go to the beach and begin having lots of fun at 10:30… but where’s the end time? When do I know when to stop having fun??
Oh wait – no drinking allowed? Never mind.
I was really confused. When I started reading it, I kinda thought it was maybe a teenager's list mocking a trip he had to take with his blue-haired grandparents. Then it got to the drinking part. I'm still confused. And a little bit wet and scared.
My Trusty Translator at the top of the comments works all by itself (not me). It felt the need to comment on a word I used yesterday. I like the descriptions it churned out. Thanks Translator! You're Trusty!
FOUND guys, please let us know when you are going to "go down" for a while. Did you make new and improved spam protection questions? Because my spam question is: How do you get a one-armed lesbian out of a tree?
Well, they're going to the beach. I can understand that showering would be something that could be given up if pressed for time.
I love how the 'exclamation point' at the end is crossed off to become a 'period'.
It's like No Drinking!!! Yeah! Whoo!
Then...
Oh wait... No. Drinking. Pfft. *tips up bottle of JD* No drinking.
Or... did they super-underline Awtowio?
I think this a list a mother made when she decided to allow her daughter to go to the beach. This is how you get there. Have fun, don't drink, to many boys at the beach. Notice it didn't read Bikini optional!
maybe it's not an exclamation point; maybe it's a 'one' with a period on the line below.
NO DRINKING 1
ALLOWED.
no drinking, except for that one jumbo 'long island iced tea' I'm gonna have.
wooo hoooo!
Ok, I'll take the bait... how DO you get a one-armed lesbian out of a tree? (hangs head in shame)
Okay, so there's this guy (lets call him... oh, Jeff Buckley.) Jeff's got two kids and an ex-wife. She's got custody, cuz he's a recovering alcoholic and he's also an ex con (violent tendencies) out on parole.
But he's desperate for family love, he misses his kids cuz he finally recognizes that the love of small children who HAVE to love you cuz you're their pops is the only kind of love he's never gonna get anymore cuz he's such a ruthless uncontrolable bastard, prone to musth and suicide attempts. It's 3am, and Jeff has been up all night frantic in his solitude. He comes up with this desperate plot for the next day. The solution to all his problems. It's based on something he did with the kids on Johnny's 8th birthday. Oh, how Johnny's little sister loved playing in the water.
His mind is reeling and he's tryng to clean his gun (in case Johnny's momma tries to get in the way of his joy again, the dirty slut) and finally, calmed by the smell of gun oil and the steady movement of the brush within the barrel, Jeff falls asleep.
He misses his nine o clock alarm and optimal shower and throwing up his hands, just goes to IHOP instead, where he has a fit over the temperature of his waffles and drops this adgenda in the lobby as the manager and two of the cooks walk him out, threatening to call the police. He stops at the liquor store on the way home, and sleeps soundly the next night.
This is actually a happy ending, cuz it's been 25 years since the first trip to the beach, little johnny is 32 years old and has long since disowned his pops, and Johnny's sister? Well, she's 22 years past dead at the hands of a boyfriend who she thought she loved, but really he just reminded her of her father.
Whoever made this agenda is probably meeting someone who they have liked a lot, but from a distance. This is the first time they're going to get a really good opportunity to talk to them, hence the NO DRINKING ALLOWED! They're pretty nervous about it, so they're making an agenda to make sure everything goes according to plan.
Finally getting out of bed at 9am??? The day is halfway gone already!
Good thing they wrote it down. Otherwise, way too much to remember. :/
Big plans for a trip to Corpus Christi, looks like. I think I'm going to start using the word "optimanal."
CORPUS CHRISTI HAS A DISGUSTING BEACH
No Drinking Allowed??? Thats a sad life, ever sadder than getting drunk before noon on your day off and "commenting on found" being your only outlet because all of your friends are working or passed out. Yes, I still would rather drink.
Gee whiz, Rex, that's such a sad story to have wrung from a happy little note. But it's probably closer to the once and future truth than the happy camper I imagined.
My little brother makes these kinds of lists for our parents when we have things to do too.
A guy is walking along the beach when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on a blanket sobbing. "What's wrong?" he asks. She says to him "I am 30 years old and I have never been hugged". He goes over, picks her up and gives her a really long hug. He then gently places her back on her blanket and begins to walk off. She starts sobbing again. "What's wrong?" he asks. She says "I'm 30 years old, and you know? I have never been passionately kissed". He picks her up again and and gives her a long deep kiss. He then places her gently back on her blanket and starts to move off. He again hears her sobbing and by now, he's beginning to get a bit peeved. "What's wrong now?" he asks. She says "I am 30 years old and although I have been hugged and kissed, I have never had sexual intercourse". So he picks her up and throws her into the ocean. "Right" he says, "now you're fucked".
Sorry, it was the one-armed lesbian reference that brought this joke to mind.
Showering is a MUST...NOT "optional."
If pressed for time, skip breakfast.
Showering AFTER the beach - also a MUST.
Drinking - NO if driving to San Antonio.
No - if going out on a first date.
Sounds like a plan.
Isn't it funny how some people make lists of everything from their five year life plans, to groceries to what they will do today?...and Some people - don't?
I believe this is a learned behavior from those in our close circles.
I don't know for sure.
1- look that up
2- put book back on shelf where it came from
3 - get a new hobby
4- have a great weekend everyone
5 - answer stupid anti-spam question: COORECTLY
LOL ! ! Cute.
Only thing missing is a last line like -
"Having a good, sober, first date on the beach and talk of a second one: Priceless and/or Timeless
By all means darling - shower.
Then, if the day goes well, you and your special someone can shower together that evening. To wash off the sand of course....
Ohhhh now I want to go to the beach.
I also like how this person calls it "Agenda" instead of "To Do List" or " Must Get Done Today."
We all have some agenda now don't we?
At least when meeting people and having fun....party = agenda.
I don't care much for this find.
It just doesn't resonate much with me.
Except I make lists sometimes.
I think a younger person wrote it.
Why the hell do so many people have a problem with showering being optional? It most certainly is.
The answer to the spam question is: Throw her a dildo.
We went to Denny's, not IHOP. Many of my happiest college memories include Moon over My Hammy. I even stole one of their "late night" menus to give my best friend for a graduation gift. Damn, those were the days.
My son's high school orchestra went to a competition in Corpus Christie, Tx last spring. They toured the USS Lexington and went to the beach. This looks like intructions students would receive.
Kate - I agree w/you.
We did the same thing & I'd take Denny's over IHOP any day.
MY NATURAL BODY ODOR IS MAGNIFICENT. IN FACT, THE LONGER I GO WITHOUT SHOWERING, THE MORE FEMALES I ATTRACT.
SO, YES, NOT IN HOT WATER. SHOWERING is OPTIONAL AND I OPT NOT TO.
Well, well, well...sounds like Rex finally got stoned....
Oh come on people! Do we really have to squinch up our noses and act as if it's so gross to not shower daily? While overall showering is not optional, showering on a daily basis certainly is. I, for example, have extremely dry sensitive skin and if I were to shower every day, I would be an itchy, dried out mess. I shower every other day and guess what, I have never had anyone complain of my body odor. I wash my hands thoroughly several times a day and wear deodorant and I seem to be JUST FINE.
pssst! Have you ever noticed how ^^^^^^ smells?
Hey going to the Lexington! Thats my home town, Corpus Christi! FUN IN THE SUN!
Oh. Well. That explains a lot now doesn't it ? ha ha
1. An hour and a half is a really LONG time
for breakfast and a shower.
2. What is the Beach without drinking?
3. BIG Lexington Ship???
IHOP will never cease to attract weirdos, that
is why I love it =)
i went to an ihop in benton harbor, michigan around 1am once on my way to st. louis and the place had security guards. two of them, and they weren't there for the food. it was very bizarre.
lawls. i like it cause he is from the 210.
or atleast going there.
i went to corpus christi catholic school.
Superman: leave the gays alone in their gayness; at least they shower. Also, Cabbage Tree: WTF? What's up with you people today?)
Anyway, I like the find; it's got sparkle.
Superman: leave the gays alone in their gayness; at least they shower. Also, Cabbage Tree: WTF? (What's up with you people today?)
Anyway, I like the find; it's got sparkle.
Superman: leave the gays alone in their gayness; at least they shower. Also, Cabbage Tree: WTF? (What's up with you people today?)
Anyway, I like the find; it's got sparkle.
So if this person had not written " Go back to San Antonio " would they have just lingered eternally at the beach ?
Aw, come on, road trip girl. Give a little love to Benton Harbor, a town that doesn't deserve the reputation it has...except for in a few square blocks, that is.
i honestly have to plan my life out like this as well, i have a list of times and places that i refer to daily to make it around my college campus. the list says, "go home" at the bottom. :) i wonder where i'd be with out that list...
Damnit, someone knows of my plans already, cripes!!!!
He's talking about being in Corpus Christi, TX. They have the USS Lexington aircraft carrier docked there.
While I doubt that this is a letter actually from him, my ex boyfriend used to make similar "agendas" notes which made me a little bit confused/embarrassed. The funny thing is that a lot of his notes had to do with NOT doing something. "You will not smoke or drink" usually meant he'd be home at 2:30 drunk as shit with a pack of cigs in his pocket.
However...I guess if writing a note to your future self, no matter how drunk you are, helps...well, then I guess it isn't too crazy sounding.
Love,
a.
P.S. one last quote from my ex (the one that, had I been paying attention, could have saved me two years...
"You have to go get your medication. You need to do it by 10 or else you won't do it at all"
funny.
if their car doesn't have A/C, and they're making the drive from san antonio to corpus, they may as well not shower before they hit the road in august. save it for after the beach.
Showers optional.
When I saw 'Lexington', I knew this was Corpus. I used to make lists like this all the time.
It's a 20-something year old guy and his buddies hanging out at IHOP at 1 in the morning after a night of drinking. They decide - Hey we should take a road trip to Corpus Christi! Yeah! Hell yeah I'm down! Ok so here's the plan... They give themselves until 9 to get up since it's now closer to 2 and they are still up and have been drinking. The shower is optional since they will be going to the beach later after touring the USS Lexington. They also plan on driving right back to San Antonio the same day after the beach and since the driver was drinking the night before and has had very little sleep he has to remind himself NO DRINKING so that there won't be a horrible accident or an expensive ticket.
Late late in the day, that was great. and I thought the no drinking bit meant it was an alcoholic writing this. and that combined with having lots of fun at the beach made me sad. 'cause it reminded me of someone. oh well i'm dramatic
Post trip disposal of agenda in IHOP parking lot in San Antonio after a great weekend in on the Third Coast. FYI: The Lexington is not just big; it is a WWII aircraft carrier that is monumental. The flight simulator was awesome. The beach across the bridge from the USS Lexington, and on the way to Port Aransas, is quite nice and somewhat in the direction of San Antonio. My family does not condone my underage drinking and there is not underage drinking allowed on the beach. Yet, DPS officers hand out MIPs all the time at the beach, just a warning to self to be careful. Yes, the beach was lots of fun, DPS officers evaded and my hangover was somewhat cured by a "Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity Breakfast" and four cups of coffee back in San Antone.
Agenda fulfilled!
ps The shower was so very optimoanal!!!