August 07, 2007

Hippo Boat
FOUND by Scott Gilbert in Oklahoma
Found this left behind from an eviction in front of an old house.
Envious Bob in wish'n I had a hippoboatsville
well I don't care who you are... that's just fun right there!
+ August 07, 2007 12:30 AM +
Kevin Shmevin in the rain
Well, now I know what I'm doing for the next family reunion- renting a HIPPO BOAT!
What fun!
+ August 07, 2007 12:36 AM +
Josie in Sidney (the cold one)
I want one. Right now.
+ August 07, 2007 01:10 AM +
silliness in rhyming land
there is not enough hyperbole
to tell you how it seems to be
to take a hippo boat to sea
it just seems very hip to me
+ August 07, 2007 01:28 AM +
delani in mesa az
todays my birthday! and i think that is what i will do.
+ August 07, 2007 01:42 AM +
Em in Covet City
I gotta get me one of them!! What a way to arrive at work!
+ August 07, 2007 01:54 AM +
chrome toaster in the kitchen, totally confused.
Um. This does not look like a hippo to me.
+ August 07, 2007 02:00 AM +
chrome toaster in the kitchen..
But it Does look like a hill of fun!!! I am very afraid for the red bird perched on the nose!!
+ August 07, 2007 02:02 AM +
david in a long, slow oregon summer
are you people blind? that is clearly an alligatorboat.
+ August 07, 2007 02:14 AM +
Rob in Los Angeles
For some reason, I can't get the "Gilligan's Island" theme song out of my head when I look at this.
+ August 07, 2007 03:20 AM +
Missing in action
My first reaction was that this was NOT a hippo boat... but after more serious consideration I have deemed that it is indeed a hippo boat.

1) No alligator teeth.
2) Absence of tail.

If someone went to enough trouble to make the head (albeit a bit on the long side)... if it were a gator... where is the tail?

+ August 07, 2007 04:42 AM +
Michelle in the morning
Yeah I didn't think it was a hippo either, but Missing is right. And if you look at the mouth, it looks like an alligator because of how long it is, but you can tell that it is way too wide to be an alligator.

But aside from all that, this looks like loads of fun and I really want one. I wonder if the person who took the picture knew these people? or if (s)he was just as confused and delighted as we are?
+ August 07, 2007 05:56 AM +
SALT in THE SEA
IS THIS WHAT I'M TO LOOK FORWARD TO IF I WERE VACATIONING IN OKLAHOMA?
+ August 07, 2007 06:40 AM +
ANIMAL in the zoo
no SALT, not Oklahoma, but Mississippi for sure. Looks like the Tombigbee, or as the locals call it, the Big Ditch, to me. fun for sure.
+ August 07, 2007 07:09 AM +
toast in the toaster
this is definilaty the best was to cruise the strip!
+ August 07, 2007 07:28 AM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
Oooooooooooooklahoma where the hippo goes floating down the stream
where the people you meet
will clearly greet all floaters doing the saaa-aaame...

This reminds me of a race that they used to have here in Ontario, on the Beaver River. The town of Thornbury hosted the Beaver River Rat Race, and people would float their homemade rafts down the Beaver River. The more creative, the better. This woulda won first prize, for sure.
And its clearly not an alligator. The bird on the tip of its snout gives it away. You know, those birds that clean its teeth.
+ August 07, 2007 07:47 AM +
bored in Minneapolis
I think the person at the head of the boat is wearing a Santa Claus suit....
+ August 07, 2007 08:08 AM +
Lost in Translation
There is something about water creatures that frighten me a little. I know that the hippo isn't real, but it gives me shivers. I may be a wuss, but I don't know about getting near the front of the hippo boat.

Maybe if I had a few cocktails first.

Shivvvvvvverrrrrrrrrr!
+ August 07, 2007 08:14 AM +
SALT in THE SEA
I COULD GOOGLE A DECENT NUMBER OF RED RIVER PHOTOGRAPHS THAT ARE NOT TOO UNLIKE THIS PICTURE. IT COULD BE OKLAHOMA
+ August 07, 2007 08:19 AM +
Marie in C-ville
I admire the person who spent all that time making a very worthy hippo boat! I wonder where it is now...

Lost, you are only halfway paranoid, because hippos are actually quite dangerous when riled up! I don't know about hippo boats, though.
+ August 07, 2007 08:29 AM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
the pic was found in Oklahoma, not much of a stretch to think the pic was taken there, too. Why would you think Mississippi? I could say it looks like part of the Trent-Severn waterway, but i'd be wrong.
+ August 07, 2007 08:32 AM +
katie in atlanta
evictions make me sad. and it makes me sad when people get excited to go get things out of an evicted person's yard.
+ August 07, 2007 08:34 AM +
SALT in THE SEA
IS KATIE A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER?
+ August 07, 2007 08:37 AM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
I'm sure people who don't pay their rent make their landlords sad.
+ August 07, 2007 08:51 AM +
Matt in my cubicle
This looks like good clean summer time fun. A few friends, a Santa suit, some psychadelic mushrooms and a boat that looks like a hoppopotamus.
+ August 07, 2007 08:51 AM +
Hungry, hungry hippo in search of a snack
Oh, I needed a laugh today, and this made me chuckle the minute I saw it. IS Santa riding on the hippoboat? That just looks like so much fun. I've never seen anythingn like it. I can't stop staring. Thanks, Found!
+ August 07, 2007 08:52 AM +
Deluxx in the muddy river bottom
Um, creepy, anyone? C'mon, somebody had to say it.
+ August 07, 2007 08:54 AM +
SALT in THE SEA
MAYBE THE WERE EVICTED NOT BECUASE THEY COULDN'T MAKE RENT BUT BECAUSE THEY HAD 12 CATS AND THE PLACE SMELLED OF AMMONIA. MAYBE BECAUSE THEY WERE SELLING A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF POT OUT THE PLACE. MAYBE THEY HAD A METH LAB IN THE SPARE BEDROOM. MAYBE THEY WERE EVICTED BECAUSE THEY TRASHED THE PLACE AND REFUSED TO REPLACE A SCREEN DOOR.
+ August 07, 2007 08:55 AM +
SuzyQ in Right behind you...
This is what all of my nightmares look like.

(Happy Birthday, delani)
+ August 07, 2007 09:06 AM +
amused in the office
totally a hippo.
and totally amazing.
+ August 07, 2007 09:07 AM +
Officially in sane
Hippos are officially the 'Next Coolest Thing.' In a few years, Paris Hilton will be going around in one, preaching bible verses to young women in prison for DUI.
+ August 07, 2007 09:22 AM +
Liza in wondering why there aren't helicopter cars
Did you know that Calvin Coolidge had a pet pygmy hippo? His name was Billy and almost all the pygmy hippos in American zoos are his descendents. I really hope they are the next big thing!
+ August 07, 2007 09:30 AM +
Jonathan in a non-tropical UK summer, but at least it's not raining today,
Mona, I thought Severn Trent Water was in central England, so I was puzzled by the sub-tropical greenery and the sandy beaches (not to mention the hippo boat). But I see that yours is in Canada! Looks lovely. Loved your Oklahoma song too (and Silliness’s).
Hippo-de-doo-dah...
I hope these are the evicted people having some fun before they ran out of cash to pay the rent. Still, I’m with Lost there – I don’t think you’d catch me risking life and limb riding in one of those (or a Beaver River Rat, for that matter).
+ August 07, 2007 09:34 AM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
Jonathan, we have a stratford, an avon river, london, trent river, waterloo, severn river, a town called midland. I could go on for days.
you would feel right at home. The hot summer weather might give you some pause, tho.
+ August 07, 2007 09:39 AM +
Jonathan in almost sunny London, actually,
Wow, thanks, Mona. Well, we have had a few hot sunny days lately, but a coupla weeks ago the heavens opened and a lot of England is under several feet of water (and it came in through my roof and my ceiling fell down. Pah). Canada is definitely on my list of nice places and nice people to visit (maybe not in the winter though).

Now I’m off to the Albert Hall (I expect you have one of those too) – the Proms being one of the good things about an English summer!
+ August 07, 2007 09:47 AM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
omg jonathan. the choir i'm in has done the 'last night of the proms' a few times..what fun. I wish i was going with you.
i know, not supposed to clog up the comments by commenting on other commenter's comments. But i do.
wave a flag for me, jonathan.
+ August 07, 2007 09:50 AM +
Jonathan in the queue for Arena season ticket holders, waving a Canadian flag for some reason,
Oops, yes, we'd better get off the airwaves and leave the field free for serious discussions (you know, the ones about pygmy hippos and Paris Hilton and cat's pee). Bye for now xxx
+ August 07, 2007 10:12 AM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
If there were about 20 other ridiculous looking rafts, this could easily be KRMG's Great Tulsa Raft Race. The best way to get laughed at was to show up with a normal boat.

And Salt, if you manage to find the one city in Oklahoma that isn't full of hillbillies, rednecks, meth heads and pregnant teenage hillbilly redneck meth-addicted girls, Oklahoma's not that bad. We even legalized tattooing last year, for fuck sake!
+ August 07, 2007 10:16 AM +
Rex Winsome in MKE
I think not paying rent (or having too many cats) makes landlords angry more than sad. Cuz, y'know, landlords are bourgeois and they don't have genuine feelings, only the desire to oppress and exploit others.

Last i checked minor repairs like screen doors are the landlord's responsibility. These hippo riders ought to have called tenet rights on the bastards, then they'd still have a place to live and wouldn't have stranger's rifling through their personal belongings and posting them on the internet.
+ August 07, 2007 10:16 AM +
janelle in bc
There's a hippo boat not unlike this one in Toronto. It can go on both water and land. I think the canadian armed forces should start using them.
+ August 07, 2007 10:37 AM +
SALT in THE SEA
IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE LANDLORD AND THE CONTRACT. THE LANDLORD BASICALLY HAVE FREE REIGN WHEN RENTING OUT A HOUSE. THEY COULD HAVE VIOLATED IT A NUMBER OF TERMS.
I THINK THAT IF I WERE A LANDLORD AND MY TENANTS UNHINGED THE SCREEN DOOR BY WAY OF KICKING IT ALL THE HELL IT WOULD BE THEIR RESPONSIBILITY

ANYWAY, THE POINT WAS THAT KATIE IS A LUNATIC
+ August 07, 2007 10:37 AM +
Writer, Rejected in dismay at www.literaryrejectionsondisplay.blogspot.com
It is a little sad to think that one moment you can be riding high on the Hippo Boat of Life and the next you are getting kicked out of your home. Fate can be twisty, unpredictable, and often cruel. I hope the children will remember this fun river ride when they are living out on the streets and eating out of trash cans.
+ August 07, 2007 10:47 AM +
kris in oregon
It's clearly a hipaligapotamus.
+ August 07, 2007 10:59 AM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
I'm sure that lessors are as guilty as lessees, in not maintaining their side of the contract.

I don't think Katie is an idiot, SALT, just terribly naive. Rather than a kindergarten teacher, i wonder if she's just terribly young.

Turbo, did this legalizing tattoos just come about recently? Another acquaintance of mine mentioned this the other day. Who know Oklahomans were so desperate for body art.
+ August 07, 2007 11:50 AM +
Sandy in Tulsa, OK
This is from "The Great Raft Race" in Tulsa, it was an annual race where you could inter any homemade raft, I'm not sure if restrictions applied, but it went on for years then they just quit doing it.
+ August 07, 2007 12:31 PM +
sANDY in tULSA, ok
THIS IS ON THE ARKANSAS RIVER
+ August 07, 2007 12:35 PM +
Former Hippo Boat Rider in No longer in Hippo Boat & Stepping on a Soapbox
Don't knock it until you try. Riding in a Hippo Boat or any other uniquely creative water vessel is the definition of fun. You get to be silly, let loose your inhibitions, for some of you it would be finally being able to pull that stick out of your butt. Look at the people on the side, even they are getting joy from the Hippo Boat. This is what the world needs, more Hippo Boats and less stuck up people too good to live and enjoy the simple things in life. Get over yourself, smile and have some fun for a change.
+ August 07, 2007 12:36 PM +
A Kitten in mittens
Yes!! That makes my day. I love the hippo... I want one.

I think Bored is right - Santa IS at the front of the miraculous Hippoboat. I wonder if Santa vacations in Oklahoma.
+ August 07, 2007 12:45 PM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
Kitten, everyone knows that Santa spends his free time hanging in Oklahoma Shitty with the Flaming Lips.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/philofphotos/1744

Mona, tattoos were legalized November of last year. Now the only place in the world you can't get tattooed is Iraq. It's not that we were "desperate" to get body art, it was that we looked like a bunch of Bible-throwin', snake-handlin' backwoods fucktards being dead last in the new millennium. We'ez a real state naw!
+ August 07, 2007 01:20 PM +
Mickey B in Oklahoma
In addition to recently legalizing tattoos, Oklahoma only very recently (2 years ago? help me out Turbo!) legalized the freaking lottery.
Those two things were illegal forever, and it took huge legal fights and votes. But cockfighting? No problem, it's all good here. I think it's just us and one other state. How wonderfully nauseating.
+ August 07, 2007 01:44 PM +
Mickey B in the sweltering inferno that is Oklahoma
I forgot to add- nobody-I repeat NOBODY- vacations here. Wtf would you come here to see or do? Trust me, the only thing to do here is nap. And/or sweat.
+ August 07, 2007 01:47 PM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
Well, congrats to all of you that hail from that state. I didnt think that kind of governmental control still occurred in this day and age. Glad to see that's over. How are you guys doing on gay marriage? or is that not even on the horizon yet?
+ August 07, 2007 01:49 PM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
Well, congrats to all of you that hail from that state. I didnt think that kind of governmental control still occurred in this day and age. Glad to see that's over. How are you guys doing on gay marriage? or is that not even on the horizon yet?
+ August 07, 2007 01:49 PM +
Mona Lisa in the louvre
http://www.travelok.com/vacationIdeas/getaways.asp

this here site says there's lots to do, whether you stay two days or two weeks.
+ August 07, 2007 01:51 PM +
Emily in a variety of poses
This photo reminds me of being a kid and riding my mom down the river. She was a alligator/hippo hybrid too.
+ August 07, 2007 01:53 PM +
cassisu in side in an office in seattle in WA the state not DC
If I lived in OK, I think I would HOLD the Bible and throw the SNAKE. Just sayin'....

Am I the only one who didn't think it was a boat at first? It looks kinda like it has legs. I could see it being some odd thing people swim out to, instead of the normal boring concrete slab on posts. (but y'all are probably right.)
+ August 07, 2007 01:56 PM +
floating in the sandy river
This photo makes me feel so happy. I think anyone who made and sold hippo boats would soon be a very rich person.
+ August 07, 2007 02:24 PM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
Mickey, thankfully Louisiana is the only place where you can fight your cock. Although I would never consider visiting Oklahoma (since I live here), there are some things to see. People came from all over the world in June to see the unearthing of the buried 1957 Plymouth Belvedere! (www.buriedcare.com) So ha! :) As for the lottery, I think it was about 2 years ago. The only reason why that happened is because the Indians were getting all of our money at their casinos that, to me, seemed to just pop up all over the place with no mention in the news.

Mona, we ain't never gonna let them queers violate the sanktittie of marraige...

+ August 07, 2007 02:27 PM +
Officially in sane
The thing that I've noticed is that just about everyone thinks that the Hippo People were the ones that were evicted. This picture could be of friends. Or relatives. Maybe they left it on purpose because they didn't like to be reminded that Grandma was a crazy Hippo Boat Captain and that they wasted all their rent money on the asylum.
+ August 07, 2007 02:45 PM +
joe in texas
wow, you all must have a lot of time on your hands if you can spend all day commenting on some dumb picture!
+ August 07, 2007 02:51 PM +
blow n in the wind
joe--all we really got is time. Timwe and vienna sausages.
+ August 07, 2007 03:00 PM +
Jesse in LA
Joe, wow, you must have a lot of time on your hands if you can spend a second commenting on some comments!
+ August 07, 2007 03:01 PM +
Officially in sane
Joe: You're here LOOKING at said 'dumb picture' as well as commenting on other's comments. I could say the same for you.

And yes, actually. Yes I do.
+ August 07, 2007 03:05 PM +
me in response to joe in TX
You remind me of a little story. Something about a pot and a kettle.
+ August 07, 2007 03:07 PM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
We also spend time posting on some dumb letters, dumb fliers, dumb grocery lists and dumb posts. Just be glad you spelled everything right. That really gets it goin' on.
+ August 07, 2007 03:14 PM +
cool in side
it doesn't take much to set you people off does it?
+ August 07, 2007 03:18 PM +
SALT in THE SEA
HAHAHA
+ August 07, 2007 03:28 PM +
Former Hippo Boat Rider in No longer in Hippo Boat & Stepped Off the Soapbox
FYI - I am going to steal the "time and vienna sausages" line and use once the opportunity presents itself. Reminds me of something you would hear on Monty Python.
+ August 07, 2007 03:39 PM +
Mickey B in Okie not from Muskogee
Turbo- when did we outlaw cockfighting? I can't believe I missed that shit! Did the ban pass in the 05 vote?
And correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it is illegal to sell (but not own) porn showing any type of penetration in Oklahoma. So all you can get is the soft crap unless you order from elsewhere.
Also, Mona Lisa, not only is gay marriage not on the horizon, but in 2004 this ignorant, bigotted (one t or two?) state voted pretty decisively to ban it.
+ August 07, 2007 04:03 PM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
I was not getting angry at all. I was actually just pointing out that I do post because I am bored as hell. Then added that if you spell something wrong, you're up shit creek. I could care less if you can't spell. Maybe I should have worded it differently by not saying anything at all.

Mickey, you can buy penetration porn in Oklahoma, you just have to have the time and patience to peel all the stickers off the real action. The "newsstand" guy has to go through with one of those grocery store price guns and censor the hibbity-dibbity. It can get a little sticky.
+ August 07, 2007 04:28 PM +
cool in side
I was just kidding - why so bored?
+ August 07, 2007 04:33 PM +
Mickey B
I was thinking more of porn video. I don't think you can buy penetration video here. Can we? If so, I guess I've been missing out, dammit!
+ August 07, 2007 04:34 PM +
terrieissovery in totally-unique-ville
I don't want anything to do with any state where it's perfectly legal to ride hippos, but not buy vibrators.

Happiness is hippos and vibrators.
+ August 07, 2007 04:44 PM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
Until I am in a big-ass tour bus, traveling the world, getting drunk and playing music, I will always be bored. (I dull the pain with FOUND)(and booze)
+ August 07, 2007 04:46 PM +
A Cabbage Tree in New Zealand
We just bought 3 very expensive navy frigates from the Australians - we needed to come to Oklahoma and purchase several thousand Hippo boats. No one would dare to attack us.
As to Oklahoma - get with the times. NZ gave women the vote in 1893. Civil unions were legalised a few years ago and you can buy as much penetrative porn as your heart desires at the corner store. We also have an annual gay parade and, for the heteros, "Boobs on Bikes". That's not just boobs on bikes of course - they are attached to real women. Please come and visit. Sorry, no hippo boats but we do a mean ski biscuit.

+ August 07, 2007 04:49 PM +
Matt in my cubicle
My cubicle happens to be in Oklahoma. You canNOT sell porn here that shows penetration. Cockfighting has only been illegal since 2005 or so and one of the other idiosyncrasies of this crazy little back water is the beer. In convenience stores/grocery stores it's only 3.2% alcohol. You have to go to a liquor store to get anything stronger than 3.2% alcohol, it is not refridgerated, and they don't have major national brands because they are only allowed in the 3.2 variety. Gay marriage? Too many people here are either openly bigoted or disguise their bigotry behind religion for that to ever happen.
+ August 07, 2007 04:57 PM +
SALT in THE SEA
AND I THOUGHT IT WAS RIDICULOUS THAT SODOMY WAS UNLAWFUL HERE VIA THE TEXAS PENAL CODE
+ August 07, 2007 05:05 PM +
Wondering in my mind
Turbo,

Is that "up shit creek" without a hippo boat? Because that would be bad! ; )
+ August 07, 2007 05:37 PM +
lindsey in UTAH!!
i'm excited to here all this little oklahomaisms.. makes me feel like i live in an open minded progressive state. :)
hahahaha.
+ August 07, 2007 05:45 PM +
Fancy Pants in shock that I'm laughing...
SALT- your first comment today actually made me laugh out loud.
No offense to Katie what-so-ever - I think Katie is a thoughtful human being.
But something about that comment SALT - just made me laugh. Thank you kindly.
I really needed that today.

(Probably because I think I know what you were getting at w/that comment...I won't elaborate because I think it's obivous. I know a lot of people who work with children daily - let's just leave it at that.)

Hippo or Alligator - it's a fun looking river ride. This picture reminds me of a cheesey postcard.
+ August 07, 2007 05:49 PM +
salt in the sea bores me
I took the Hippo Challenge on MXC.
+ August 07, 2007 07:26 PM +
amy in my own heat index
you gotta hand it to those mexicans, they are damn creative.
+ August 07, 2007 07:47 PM +
Happy to Live in Oklahoma
Oklahoma is a beautiful state with wonderful people! It's a friendly place to live where you can trust your neighbors. Oklahoma City is sophisticated and even follows the New York fashion trends - much like Beverly Hills or Dallas. There is tremendous support for music and the arts. The politicians are by-and-large honest, the prisons are humane, the farmers are literate (even well read in many cases), and characters are welcome. We love our June bugs, crawdads, Native Americans and clean red earth. Our schools are top rated. You always know where you are because the name of the town is on the grain elevator or water tower. If you break down on the highway, three people will stop to help you. And you may think we have a problem with meth and such, but you don't see Oklahoma drivers falling asleep at the wheel like they do in Connecticut. Liquor is still frowned upon by many and people who commit adultery are openly scolded. Going to church every Sunday is what most people do. "Controversy" entails discussing the differences between the worship services of the Methodists and Presbyterians. Abortion is almost unheard of because young people tend to save themselves for marriage. People make good livings here doing honest work and housing is affordable. People respect one another. It's a great place to raise a family. We teach our young people how to handle firearms properly and to respect them, so we don't have angry teenagers shooting up the schools. People still say, Yes sir and Thank you ma'am and are proud to fly the flag on holidays. We know the value of a dollar and we don't spend our money on showy frivolities. A man may drive a twenty year old pickup truck, but his John Deere combine is worth $250,000. Our colleges graduate some of the finest scholars in the midwest. Children can still play outside and walk to school without our worrying about perverts snatching them off the street. And nothing is as beautiful as the Oklahoma countryside, with its rolling hills, lovely trees, vital waterways and rich red earth. In fact, the thing that surprises people the most when they visit Oklahoma is just how beautiful it is and what a great place it is to live.

Unknown to many is that Oklahoma is also a hotbed of Catholicism and other marginal religions, which we tolerate and accept as a necessary part of our American freedom. We support our troops in the war against terrorism in Iraq and New York. We stand behind President Bush.

I'm not saying that Oklahoma is perfect. We are learning to cope with racial diversity, rap music and cable television, among other things. Cell phones threaten to eliminate the face-to-face communication that has perpetuated good manners and a congenial society for a century and a half. And although not well known outside Oklahoma, UFO sightings and alien abductions have been on a steady rise for the past two decades, beginning shortly after the election of Bill Clinton.

But in the end, if you're tired of the hollow, fast-paced lifestyle of the left coast, Oklahoma and its people will welcome you with open arms into the heartland of America, the real America, where our cherished values are still practiced and revered.
+ August 07, 2007 07:54 PM +
w in dy
Doesn't SALT usually berate others for not commenting on the find? His first comment, funny or not, was to berate someone elses comment. HUH?
+ August 07, 2007 07:57 PM +
SALT in THE SEA
DID YOU COPY AND PASTE THAT MUMBO-JUMBO FROM A TOURISM WEBSITE
+ August 07, 2007 07:58 PM +
SALT in THE SEA
NO, HERES THE STORY
I GET TOLD OFF ON A REGULAR BASIS FOR REPLYING TO PEOPLE THAT TYPE AT ME BECUASE IT 'ISN'T ABOUT THE FIND'
+ August 07, 2007 07:59 PM +
Midlife Crisis in California
How'd I do?
+ August 07, 2007 08:03 PM +
blow n in the wind
well, i'm proud to be an okie from muskogee--a place where even squares can have a ball....
+ August 07, 2007 08:11 PM +
found
Breaking news —— a rogue hippo boat, has just crashed into Interstate 35W bridge.
+ August 07, 2007 08:27 PM +
Officially in sane
Wow. How long did it take you to type up that, Happy to Live? It sounded like...a commercial. For a church. In Oklahoma.

Ummm....ok. Good luck with that!

By the way: do they have hippos in Oklahoman commercials? for churches?
+ August 07, 2007 08:36 PM +
lucy in the sky with diamonds
happy to live: i find it amusing that you refer to catholicism as a marginal religion. and i don't think its necessary to state that you stand behind bush and then state you're not perfect.

jaysus, show me your red neck.
+ August 07, 2007 08:40 PM +
Kate in the big city
Is it my imagination or did happy just disparage anyone who doesn't think like s/he does? or maybe it is just because I participate in a "marginal" religion or want my children to examine their own values.
+ August 07, 2007 08:44 PM +
terrieissovery in totally-unique-ville aka fake america
The real America is in Oklahoma? I had no idea I was living in the fake America.
+ August 07, 2007 08:51 PM +
Pixi in grad school, and proudly a Masshole,
I would like to see the military utilize this hippo boat. Stealthy, hydrodynamic, powerful, camouflaged.


The heartland states can shove it :)
Thank you Ma'am.


(is it always the same 3 designated people to help you when your car breaks down?)

+ August 07, 2007 09:04 PM +
chrome toaster in just home from rush hour
Oh my gosh.. it *IS* a hippo! The profile view threw me.
+ August 07, 2007 09:15 PM +
Dead Headed Princess in Northern Mi
My first thought was it's an alligator, but upon further examination, it's a hippo for sure. How fun to ride a hippo. I guess the evicted people spent all their money on the ride, hope it was worth it. I too think it's sad they lost their home and this picture.
+ August 07, 2007 09:27 PM +
Officially in sane
I thought it was al alligator as well, until I read a few comments and took another look. No teeth, not tail. Still, a hippo's even cooler, I think.
+ August 07, 2007 09:34 PM +
found
Always the same 3 designated people . . . I'm still smiling Pixi. I'm confused though, Oklahoma residents love their June bugs?? Are they special there? I've got them where I live too, only in June though, (go figure) and what's the UFO sentence mean, anyone?
+ August 07, 2007 09:50 PM +
procrast in ating
Happy's was probably the funniest comment on here:

We know the value of a dollar and we don't spend our money on showy frivolities...and even follows the New York fashion trends - much like Beverly Hills or Dallas.

Hilarious!

But, ya know, hometown pride is important. cause home is where the heart is and if our home sucks, then where does that leave our heart? drifting downstream in a hippo boat?
+ August 07, 2007 09:54 PM +
Vickie in The land of OZ !
Love the hippo boat....gotta love the hippo boat.

Now as for the Oklahoma comments had me laughing so hard my cheeks hurt. Way to go! As a former Okie, and yes one who still visits your all Correct!
+ August 07, 2007 09:55 PM +
ab in a box
Whatever this is, it's SUH-WEEEEEET. That's some downright fun-tastic afternoon right there.

I'm also reminded of the movie "Big Daddy" . . . "Hip. Hip-hop.
Hip-hop-apotomus. It's not fair, you give him the easy ones!"

The End.
+ August 07, 2007 10:00 PM +
Writer, Rejected in in seasickness at www.literaryrejectionsondisplay.blogspot.com
For some reason, "Happy to Live in Oklihomie" makes me want to vom. Or maybe it's just the rough sailing on the Hippo Craft through choppy waters?
+ August 07, 2007 10:20 PM +
Midlife Crisis in California

Ummm, guys, I'm "Happy to Live in Oklahoma," and I wrote that goofy midwestern spoof as a little gift for our beloved Turbo. I thought for sure you'd know it was me when I threw in the bit about aliens.

And no, SALT, I made it up from scratch. I sincerely hope that none of it is true.

Love you all --

Midlife
+ August 07, 2007 10:30 PM +
Unworthy Texan in a short, pleated skirt
Happy to Live in Oklahoma, that's why Texans make fun of y'all.
+ August 07, 2007 10:43 PM +
Unworthy in short, pleated skirt
(I can't repeat what we say about Californians.)

You crazy Crisis...lol.
+ August 07, 2007 10:46 PM +
Norma Jean in Texas
Yep, Texans love to make fun of Oklamomaians, as my kids say, Oklahomos, (no offense) they're kids.
+ August 08, 2007 12:25 AM +
Jonathan in another country
Bravo Midlife (or Happy), I thought I detected some ever so subtle irony in there! And what beautifully written and faultless English – why do the Grammar Police only pick up on the negative stuff??

But hey, the *real* America is Colorado, ain’t it? I know, I’ve read ‘Centennial’ (and I’ve been there – lovely landscapes, lovely people, thank you all). But seriously, all of America is the real America, that’s the point of the place. (And people in South American countries live in America too! Quite disconcerting to read a Marques or Vargas Llosa novel set in Peru or Bolivia and wonder why they keep saying they are in ‘America’ – oh, I see.)
+ August 08, 2007 05:24 AM +
Mona LIsa in the louvre
Midlife, that 'rant' about oklahoma reminds me of a beer commercial, for Molson Canadian...... anyone seen it? or is that only up here in canada. too funny, a guy riffs for about a minute, about how we dont all live in igloos, etc.. too funny.
+ August 08, 2007 05:25 AM +
SALT in THE SEA
I FIGURED, MIDLIFE. IT WAS MY WAY OF PAYING A COMPLIMENT
+ August 08, 2007 06:31 AM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
Thanks for setting the record straight, Midlife. I about shit myself thinking some backwater jerk-off wrote it. Instead, it was some California jerk-off.

Yaaawwhahahahaha!
+ August 08, 2007 08:19 AM +
Rex in MKE
Very well done Midlife.
+ August 08, 2007 08:50 AM +
Mickey B in hysterics
hahaha omg before I knew it was you Midlife, I was reading it furiously, mentally preparing my indignant replies about how our prisons are so humane that we execute people and the astronomical teen pregnancy rate, etc. And now that I know it was your satire I can't stop laughing! Funniest shit on Found in a while, Brav-O!
+ August 08, 2007 10:16 AM +
Mickey B in the dumbest job. ever.
Oops, I forgot to add-

I didn't know you were in Oklahoma, Matt! In general I just assume that if a guy is witty and even moderately intelligent then he's never even driven through.

So welcome to the little Found Okie club- there are way more of us than I would ever have guessed! :)
+ August 08, 2007 10:22 AM +
Midlife Crisis in California

Thank you for your kind comments. The last time I was in Oklahoma was exactly 45 years ago, just before my 13th birthday. I remember a rutted red road on the way to my maternal grandmother's house, collecting isenglass (clear mica), getting bit by chiggers, swimming in mineral springs, playing with blasting caps, being served a tall glass of half-and-half with every meal because my aunt thought I was too skinny, and -- I swear I'm not making this up -- "fishing" for crawdads with a piece of bacon tied to a string. Crawdads are little crab-like creatures that live in holes in the red mud. June bugs are large insects that live on screen doors in the evening.

One of my uncles had a bit of a temper and was know for repeatedly shooting his tractor with a shotgun. Did you know there's a seaport in Tulsa that is linked to the Gulf of Mexico by the Arkansas River?

My paternal grandmother was an English teacher in El Reno. Both of my parents entered college at Norman when they were 16 and left Oklahoma when they graduated at 20. Two of my cousins became physicians like their father.

My parents always disliked the midwest and felt the exhilaration of anonymity and opportunity when they arrived in Los Angeles shortly before the end of the war. Of course, having grown up in the smoggy suburbs of L. A., I longed for mountains and ocean and a gentler lifestyle, so I moved to Humboldt County (far northern California) the day after my 21st birthday. I've lived here all but three of the last 37 years.

When I was about 30 I had the most fantastic sex with a church organist from Oklahoma. She was incredible. I like to imagine that Oklahoma is full of hot church organists. Even today I can hardly listen to Bach's toccata and fugue in D-minor without becoming aroused.

I'm sad that some of our friends find their lives in Oklahoma less than great. I know I couldn't live there. Flat agricultural landscapes fill me with panic and despair. But I like to think there are still a lot of good people there, people who are smart and funny and post on FOUND.

+ August 08, 2007 01:21 PM +
Pixi in a happy place on the east coast,
that was really good. You had me going :)
I was confused by the left coast reference though, because I thought most people regarded the east coast as more fast paced, rude, etc. I've never lived in the midwest, I lived in AZ for a while and it seemed like everyone I met was a midwestern transplant (I think met 3 or 4 people actually born in raised in AZ the entire time I lived there). I felt like the biggest outcast in AZ, my way of life an my beliefs just seemed so out of whack with the midwestern thought. I was so thrilled to move back home...not just for the people, for the ocean too...the desert is not a good place for a fisheries biologist...

:)
+ August 08, 2007 08:03 PM +
Norma Jean in Texas
Happy to live in Oklahoma you have obviously not read The Innocent Man by John Grisham. The prisons are the most inhumane in the state. I'm married to an Okie and I find from visiting Tulsa (bible thumping it may be) it is a den of iniquity underneath. I'de stick needles in my eyes before I would live there.
+ August 08, 2007 10:41 PM +
Norma Jean in Texas
Another thing Happy, your comment was way to long. Save that speech for the Chamber of Commerce.
+ August 08, 2007 10:42 PM +
Nikke in OK
I just read Crisis comments. You can't really trust who wrote what anymore. Pixi you crack me up.
+ August 08, 2007 10:48 PM +
Jonathan in another midlife crisis somewhere else
Hey Midlife, thanks for that. This is for old times’ sake:

http://www.silborg.net/vpg/bwv565_sg.mp3

Evidently, as it used to say in the music catalogues, ‘Bach’s organ works’ !!
+ August 09, 2007 05:13 AM +
Kate in Cleveland
I just adore this, and I love it even more that it was left in an evicted house. It seems sad, almost, like this family's happier times have been cut short by financial problems, but I like to think they remember their hippo days fondly and inspirationally...
+ August 14, 2007 12:40 PM +
nikal in hairspaceship
when my boyfriend saw this picture he was like, "whoa, are they riding a hippo? i thought they were supposed to be really vicious!". And when my girlfriend went to fill in the spam protection question (what is the last month of the year) she wrote 12.
+ September 03, 2007 03:33 AM +
Herbert Cashdollar in a box with a fox
When I saw this, I thought it would be really hilarious to imagine that this was a drug trafficking vehicle, commandeered by some rogue landlubbers. I think coke lords would look really menacing with AK's riding in the hippo boat. lol.
+ September 05, 2007 12:14 PM +
Becky in SFASU in Nacogdoches, TX
The hippo looks rather upset doesn't he?
+ October 12, 2007 08:33 PM +
Melanie in the family room
When my daughters were aged 1 and 4, they would play in our blow-up zebra boat at Lake Chelan in Washington State. This brought back happy memories. That was 10 years ago.
I think the umbrella in this hippo makes it especially festive and cute. I bet the people had a blast. Nothing like being out on the water on a hot day in summer.
+ March 15, 2008 12:17 PM +

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