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June 27, 2007 |
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Please Be Who You Are
FOUND by Alli Smith
in Connecticut
I was going through my mom's old cookbook and found this. My mom has no idea who Donna Lee is or who could've written it.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
sounds like the typical, cheesy email a mom would write. I've gotten loads of those, and they're usually absolute crap and not even true. :)
"At this time" is one of the most useless phrases in our language. I hear it all the time at airports where they are trying in vain to sound more proper or sophisticated. "Zone 3 please board the plane at this time." What they really mean to say is "now." It is much more effective and simple to say "now" instead of "at this time."
Show us the rest!
Suuuuuure she doesn't......
In other words,
Donna-Lee, You're being a bitch, please stop being a bitch.
To "a peculiar noise": Doesn't saying "you're unhappy at home now" imply a certain resignation that that's just the way things are, whereas "you're unhappy at home at this time" implies a hopefulness that things could be different in the future?
My thoughts exactly Terrie
Wasn't there another Find (from a while ago) very much along these lines-- "We both know you're great, you're experimenting with being an a-hole, etc..."
I guess this is a common method of calling someone you love a jerk? And asking them why they're acting like that?
Boy, mom's get a bad rap, don't they. Now we're cheesy, and say things that don't mean anything. One day, Willow, you're going to realize that your mom knows more than you think. We tend to think that our moms are these sheltered creatures, who spend their time thinking of what to make for dinner, and folding our laundry. We forget that they live and breathe. That they have passion and they think. That they have loved and been loved. That they have 'experimented with being someone they are not', and know that it hardly ever works out well. So, Willow what I'm saying is that your mom is a real person. Read those emails, and learn from them. You'll discover an actual person inside your mom, one day.
What a nice sweet way to say ' Quit frontin bitch , I know where you came from ! "
Yeah, Donna Lee, don't you DARE -- and I mean it -- don't you DARE try to figure out who you are! You are ONLY allowed to be who I, your mother, know you to be, which, in reality, is not at all if I'm like most moms and their daughters. Just make me happy, dammit, and if something happened, or if something's bothering you to make you suddenly act so unlike you've ever been before, then haven't you ever hear of "repressing"?! C'mon! I need consitency here!
-love mom
p.s. I can't possibly have anything to you with your recent change in behavior, so buck up.
how do you know its from her mother?
perspective is everything, isn't it. Causes each and every one of us to put a different spin on this. We're assuming, (because willow first mentioned mother, i guess, or because it was found in mom's cookbook) that this was written by mom. Who knows?
Only Donna Lee knows, for sure, i guess.
And then, the intent.
Willow thinks it means nothing. That this pithy note should be crumpled up and tossed amongst this morning's egg shells and coffee grounds.
Ab thinks that the writer of the note is controlling and opinionated. These interpretations tell us more about where we come from, and our own issues, than anything written in the note.
I love people's responses to things....
Sounds like a few people on this board have Mother issues.
L, i have to agree with Peculiar Noise, using "at this time" just reveals softness of the brain.
Donna Lee shaved her head and became what her mother feared most: A judgenmental bitch ass dyke. Double whammy!
FOUND guys, I love you and would have your babies (then put them up for adoption but I prefer you try pushing me down the stairs a few times), but please put what's on the other side of the find. Seriously. I love you. I know we have only been seeing each other since March but I feel really comfortable with you and have no problem letting the world know.
i love my mom.
I love YOUR mom.
As a mom, I initially sympathized with the mom side of it, but now after i've thought about it, I feel differently. This sounds like a mom who is still thinking her daughter is the 8 year old version of Donna Lee, when she is now the 21 year old version that her mom has no clue about. My mom bought me Fantasia perfume from Avon until last year (I was 35) because I liked it when I was 9. Nuff said.
I can't believe no one clued into the REAL story behind this note. D'uh, he found it in his mother's cookbook, so it stands to reason that before the witness protection plan thing kicked in, she (his mother) was Donna Lee. She was hanging out with such a bad crowd - so sad. They committed terrible crimes, immpolite, uncaring, unthoughtful crimes. She'll deny it of course. They're told to do that. It'll probably all coming flooding back now that this piece of the past has been uncovered.
Interesting that so many people think this is from her Mom... My immediate reaction was that it was from her Dad. It looks like male handwriting to me.
Maybe Donna-Lee and Mom aren't getting along so well these days, and Dad's trying to intervene - call Donna-Lee out for being a bitch without really calling her a bitch...
I dunno. My perspective.
Announcing the finish-the-note contest. Fill in the blank:
Also, I'm sorry that you're unhappy at home at this time. If you ____________________________.
Don't tell Alli, but, well, this find is actually a secret into the finder's own troubled past. That's right, Alli Smith struggled with multiple personality disorder (caused by things that made her "unhappy at home") and "became" Donna Lee.
In a desperate attempt to bring her little girl back, mom wrote this letter to the name Alli insisted on going by.
Alli was finally cured through hypnosis and has no memory of this traumatic period. At this time, her mom is freaking out in fear that this note will set off some connections that disrupt the hypnosis and Donna Lee will come raging back, slamming her young sibling's hands in the silverwear drawer and stomping the new born puppies' heads flat.
It doesn't matter who wrote the note. Fact is, Donna-Lee is using. Drugs and alcohol are the only reason for her change sudden change in attitude.
Daddy made me go to rehab... I said, no, no, no...
Some people have trouble detecting cute, sarcastic comments from willow, and then let it ruin their day.
has not had her day ruined. I just think its funny, how everyone puts their interpretation on things. The comments are waaayyy better than the finds, most of the time.
Also, I'm sorry that you're unhappy at home at this time. If you _find that the sex reassignment surgery hasn't gone as well as you first thought, that's ok. I'm sure that they can reattach it, without too much loss of function___.
If you find that you need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you.
How do we know this is from her mother, and sometimes people need these cheesy notes to smack them back into reality......at least this person is trying to help Donna Lee with her bad "experimentations".....maybe her mother doesn't want her to become a mad scientist....or experiment with meth labs....whatever, ya know?
"Also, I'm sorry that you're unhappy at home at this time. If you__continue to feel/behave this way, I will be glad to help you find someplace more conducive to your well-being."
Say it with me now, pppppassive agggrrrrrresive!
Love my mom, hated getting these kinds of notes from her. Just yell at me already.
This note sounds so passive-aggressive. Why couldn't Donna-Lee's friend just say it? "Look, you're being a brat. Cut it out. We all have shitty situations. Grow up." This totally gets the job done and may even scare Donna-Lee into straightening up.
Also, I seriously doubt it's from her mom. "I'm sorry that you are unhappy at home at this time..." If Donna-Lee lived with her mother, would she phrase it like this?
(sidenote - what's with tacking on Lee to the end of girls' names? Is this just a southern thing?)
i think "donna" is now going as "lee" due to a sexual identity crisis. perhaps she is just now being who she feels she is. the note writer sounds like a judgenmental bitch.
"I'm sorry that you are unhappy at home at this time. If you ___stopped being such a 'Debbie Downer', maybe daddy wouldn't hit you so much. You know all that crying and carrying on just makes him angrier. Let's try and keep daddy happy, okay? It's best for all of us that way."
"I'm sorry that you are unhappy at home at this time. If you __would let me do you it in your butt we might find out that you really like it. We'll reach a new plateau of erotic pleasure. C'mon baby give it a shot."
It's a note from the cat. The ending is, "I'm sorry you are unhappy at home at this time. If you___want me to pee in his laundry basket, I would be more than happy to. P.S. Lay off the sauce".
Ang- I immediately assumed it was from her dad also.
And HEY FOUND GUYS! I just wanna say again, like Jo, we really, really, really wanna know what's on the back!!! PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSE?
Dear Mr. Salt,
You know, and we know that you are an annoying yet repeat Found-comments regular.
It seems that you have broken your caps lock key, or are "experimenting" with being a jerk. Please be less obnoxious!
I'm sorry you're being an ass at this time.
I don't know what I like more today - this find, or all of the fun comments!
I too, want to read the rest.
I read FOUND every day, but have only commented on it twice. I find the comments and the people commenting to be so oddly random. not that there's anything wrong with that. How fun it is to be an anonymous critic practicing our skills like creative writing, sharing ideas and opinions, and nit picking other anonymous comment-makers. I am going to set up a place where we can meet...
how do we know this was written by donna-lee's mother? my mother tends to nag me aurally rather than writing me a note.
Yeah, but it's not so anonymous when you type out your snarky little commentary, proceed to type "Tuesday" into the little box and punch "Post Comment!" Only then to see your real first and last name on the screen above said snarky comment, pesky form fill!
The use of quotes around "experimenting" is extremely condescending, no wonder Donna-Lee has a bug up her ass.
Alli, Donna Lee is your sister. She's 14 years older than you, and your mom wrote her this note shortly after you were born.
Donna Lee has been chained to the furnace in the cellar ever since then, having flatly refused to stop experimenting. Your mom cooks the worst recipes she can find in that cookbook, and throws them down the stairs for Donna Lee to eat off the dirt floor. She actually is allowed to come out on Christmas, but only if she disguises herself as Santa to keep the family secret.
Monan Lisa, are you calling Willow's mom a cannibal?
i, for one, think it's donna lee's uptight, passive-agressive roommate, and not her mother or father.
and yes, double names are a very southern thing.
I think it's kind of funny that every day someone politely requests that Salt stop SHOUTING, and every day he ignores that request, but instead SHOUTS out some new random comment instead.
Now that's comedy! :-)
Funny, I read this note. Late in the day. And I thought it was to an angst-ridden teen from a concerned Aunt. (or uncle) The last part would say... if you want to come stay with us for a while, you can.
Then I read all the comments. What imaginations we all have!
To all of you who are crying passive-aggressive. So what?
Personally, I can be passive, aggressive, or passive aggressive. I'm not ashamed to admit it. It all depends on the situation and/or personality of the person I'm dealing with. I don't know about the people in your world, but personally, there are certain people that require this type of confrontation because if you're passive they will either walk all over you or perceive your passivity as consent. If you're aggressive they automatically tune you out and won't hear you out or even try to listen to your take on things.
But, if you're nice enough about it that they think they have the upper hand, they'll listen to what you have to say and things get resolved.
I'm not saying that everyone who is passive aggressive is this way, I'm just saying that it isn't always a bad thing either.