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May 08, 2009 |
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Marijuana Fights!
FOUND by Chuck Hoffman
in Waterloo, IA
I actually found this in my own house. Neither my wife nor I can identify the handwriting. Only thing we can figure out is that someone was making a list of either dreams they had, or topics of conversation overheard at a party.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Suing purses?
Swing penisis?
i think the second one is tetris but i read it at tities.
and marijuana fights makes me think of 2 different strains of pot fighting it out to the death
The dots for the letter i are strange... Sometimes they drift to the right, sometimes to the left...
I Googled the phrase "killed by Cindy Crawford," and can you believe I got not one hit? Not one! Weird.
Free-association time, Foundhounds!
"Sewing purses" are little bags quilters keep their most often used bits and pieces in, to take to bees or guild meetings: scissors, thimble, needles, finger guard, beeswax and like that. Like everything to do with quilting, the bags have morphed to be part of the "industry" that this necessity-hobby has become. So you get special patterns and peopel make them in silks and satins instead of just taking along their stuff in a brown paper sack or similar. In appearance they look like a little girl's shoulder bag.
I can't wait to see what HPD and Muse are going to make of this Find.
Sewing Purses
Tetris
Burger King
Killed by Cindy Crawford
Wedding dress shopping
Marijuana fights
Wonderful pata salad.
I wonder if the person speaks Spanish? "Patata salad" makes sense if so, but "pata" means "foot" (specifically the foot of an animal) and "foot salad" doesn't seem to go with "wonderful."
f the most notorious serial killers of the past century, but very few people know he was a compulsive list mak
I am thinking this is a list of reminders of things to talk about in a birthday speech...
They left off asshole bleaching.
Sewing Purses
Tetris
Burger King
Killed by Cindy Crawford
Wedding dress shopping
Marijuana fights
Wonderful pata salad.
....tomorrow ...on Oprah
maybe they meant to write pasta salad?
Things to do this weekend...
and I think it's meant to be "pasta" salad
Chuck your wife is lying and denying. It's her note... you must recognize the handwriting????
Oh no no Honey ... I have no idea where that came from... I ah??.. wow that is weird?
It is a week's worth of entries for a dream journal..There are many nights I dream of wonderful potato salad (??)
That is so cool that you found this in your own house!
This hurts my brainnnnnnnn
She had been at the marijuana fights all day and was very 420. She hoped to have some wonderful pasta salad, and then meet their
daughter to do some wedding dress shopping.
She stopped off at Burger King instead.
Chuck would never approve. Now she was in real
jam after running barefoot through broken
glass. The gay designer terrorists had her pinned down in near the deep fryer. How was she ever going to explain this to Chuck?
Fortunately, she was able to grab a couple of their sewing purses to sew his lacerated feet up. Those two poofs ended up going through the take out window like a couple Tetris blocks.. .....and what were the chances she would be killed by Cindy Crawford? I mean why would Cindy Crawford be leading a bunch of bitch bulimic fashionistas to take a burger joint hostage?
This is so obviously a list of possible band names. Good ones too. haha!
...i was thinking it was a set list for a band... a very odd band....
The finder's comments are more interesting to me than this find.
Do you often have guests stay at your house?
@ Sam Ding Ding Ding! I think you are right.
I am the finder-of-the-note's wife. Okay... I haven't seen or thought about this note in over two years, but upon seeing it again today I think I may have figured out the mystery. Not sure, but I think my friend Laura may have written this list. She and I went wedding dress shopping, at the time we had some pot-smoking house guests that I was always fighting with, I make WONDERFUL Pasta Salad (if I do say so myself) and the most telling detail is the "killed by Cindy Crawford". She and I did the Cindy Crawford workout together, and it kicked my ass! I was sore for several days afterwards.
These events would go back to about 1998.
What are: 'Things you think about when you're stoned' for a thousand, Chuck.
@ Leah ... super! But what about the first two items on Laura's list?
Well.... I love to sew, and when Laura and I used to work together, I would sit at my station and sew purses.
The Tetris thing??? I have no idea. I might have brought Game Boy with me to work too, and did that sometimes. We worked at a phone bank, and there were sometimes quite a bit of downtime.
speaking of Fakes....
I hope you're not talking about this being a fake. I honestly didn't know what the note was when my husband showed it to me (two years ago... that's how long it took these folks to publish it on this site). Two years later, I put some honest thought into it, and came to this conclusion. I asked Laura's husband if it's her writing, but he said he couldn't tell. I haven't talked to her about it though.
I didn't think my husband was going to send it to this site anyway. It was a curiosity, something that I never put any sort of thought into, and dismissed as something that had nothing to do with my life. It was until TODAY that I really decided to reflect back, and pick apart the meaning of this FOUND list.
Laura needed to remember all the things she was going to tell her kids about when she got home that day and they asked what she was doing with her friends. She believed in honesty, so she wrote everything, even the part about the marijuana fights. Unfortunately, she left the list at Leah's house.
Puta salad doesn't actually sound very appetizing.
Look out, Leah, I think Laura may be working on stealing your identity!
Coincidentally, the spam question hurt my head. Why is spelling backwards so difficult?
Chuck was partially right. The things on this list were, in fact overheard bits of a story overheard. Here it is in its entirety:
I went to a fashion show after-party,which was put on by that hot new designer-you know, the one who created the swing purses? It only the hottest new accessory among, well, swingers...There were mostly just supermodels there, most of which were on their blackberries playing tetris, no doubt...or sexting..trying to do what they could to keep food off the brain since they aren't supposed to eat. I was starving so I pulled out my left over burger king sandwhich when I noticed a sultry model giving me the evil eye. That's when I realized I was about to be killed by Cindy Crawford, all for half a soggy whopper. I put it back in my swing purse, probably a good thing since I was supposed to go wedding dress shopping later for a showing of Rocky Horror. I was lost in thought when Cindy slinked over and snatched the whopper out of my bag. "It's hard to resist when you're stoned", she said. "Marijuana fights the urge to starve. As a matter of fact, I could really go for some of that wonderful pata salad from that Filipino place around the corner."
To which I responded, "Pig feet are my weakness..lets blow this joint!"
OOps! Only one "overheard"
it's disappointing to have the meaning of the list resolved. totally deflates the find.
I read "puta" salad. Puta means in spanish.
I love me some salad!
they should legalize marijuana. it would do wonders for our shiity economy...
My friend does this. It's short-hand notes on things that are funny/interesting. She uses the notes so she can write her journal and blog.
Now that I think about it. an ESL wrote this!
see in spanish "marijuana" (weed) it's call marihuana/mariguana BUT
what about Maria Juana which is a woman's name that would be Marie Joanne in english, and the short name of it it's marijuana since using shortnames is something common in latin america (Maria del Sol = marisol, Maria Lourdes = marilu)
so it was about Maria Juana's fight.
Mistery solved.
Initial thought about Marijuana Fights: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and of course to our viewers at home, and welcome to another edition of Marijuana Fights. For tonight's main event, in what promises to be a bloody public spectacle of Roman proportions: a tag-team cage match pitting the brutal despotism of White Widow and Mindbender against the relentless savagery of Strawberry Cough and Hindu Kush. Let's get ready to ruuuuuummmmmmble!"
But upon reflection: it was probably a note for mad-libs or Pictionary or some other such yuppie cocktail hour bullshit.