June 24, 2009

Tat Options
FOUND by RJ in Free State High School, Lawrence, KS
I found this in a US Government text book. I wonder which one she decided to get?
Phoebe Muse
So many tattoos so little skin
+ June 24, 2009 12:33 AM +
Grab Bag in Chi Town
Ray Bradbury's list of distinguishing features
+ June 24, 2009 12:50 AM +
kiana in love
wow ! my tattoo list isn't even that big.
none of those sound cute though.
+ June 24, 2009 12:57 AM +
Kermit Fog in mirror image on four-arms
Agreed, kiana. I never understood why, if you're going to permanently alter your body, you would get something trashy/boring/cheesy/tacky/inelegant. But that's just me.

What is #7? Philla?

And why does she have four arms?
+ June 24, 2009 01:01 AM +
ceesick in the city of lakes
dot on foot. DOT ON FOOT. don't know why but i'm in love with that. just say it to yourself a few times. it's sublime.
+ June 24, 2009 01:10 AM +
Ian in Edinburgh
What's wrong with good old L-O-V-E and H-A-T-E on your knuckles?
+ June 24, 2009 01:26 AM +
baby basil in the herb garden
Lydia, oh Lydia, have you met Lydia?
Lydia the tat-tooed ladieee?

I hope this is a list to decide from, not a list of all the tats she has. I understand that for some people, tattoos are addictive and they just keep getting more.
But the ink fades and they lose their detail and just get grotty looking. I could never understand putting a permanent mark on your body, and particularly not Woody Woodpecker, which seems to be popular here. So many young people are rushing to get large, flamboyant tattoos, where I live...well, OK, you're 16 now and you want to be cool and "with it", but what will you do 15, 20, 25 years from now when it's faded and you're tired of it? It costs more to have them removed safely than to have them done...and it hurts just as bad, so they tell me.

I have to agree with Hunnicutt from an episode of MASH: Why would you put on your body a picture you wouldn't hang on the wall?
+ June 24, 2009 02:31 AM +
Farmer in The Dell
ust after high school graduation. That's when they got tiny red starfish tattooed on their hands, on the theory that even if one or both of them were beheaded, when they met up again in heaven they'd still be able to recogni
+ June 24, 2009 03:33 AM +
Camelia in my Room...
Wow -- I've heard of a busybody -- but this makes for a busy busy body!! (Phoebe - are we sure there's so little skin? Maybe it's a -uh- large canvas??) (Heck, there's even four arms!)

So odd, this wishlist. Parents on what?
Yeah Kermit, what's a Philla for the spine?
Dot on foot. where on foot? colored dot?
FACES on ankles?? Whose faces? (I hope it says faces, not...)
And #10... I had to re-read it; I mistook one word the first time. (whew)

+ June 24, 2009 03:55 AM +
Camelia in sanity....
And, hey baby basil -- where do you have this Herbal Garden with popular Woody Woodpeckers?
+ June 24, 2009 03:57 AM +
trying not to be in considerate
My 10-year old daughter had the right idea when she saw a show of a girl honoring her late father with a garish tattoo on her shoulder' She said "Now he's in her heart, her mind... and her bloodstream".

Four-arm should be "forearm". I guess this writer missed that day of anatomy spelling class...
+ June 24, 2009 05:01 AM +
Feeling in coherent
I hope it's a list of her current tats. Or better yet - his. Wouldn't THAT go over well in Lawrence!
+ June 24, 2009 06:15 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork

I like #12: Parents on hip.

But mostly because it's a play on this guy/girl having been carried on his/her parents' hips as a baby.


I don't like #9: Name in mirror image on four arms.

Because if this person has four arms, then we're into some whole other extraterrestrial thing and that's just way too strange for this hour of the morning. (Althought that could explain #7 "Philla ['Philadelphia'? 'Phyllo'?] down spine.)
+ June 24, 2009 06:34 AM +
Robert Keim in upstate NY
Four arms? what kind of monstrosity is this?
+ June 24, 2009 06:59 AM +
sick in tired
Really? There's a "Free State" Highschool in KS? Sounds more South African. Or maybe they're off-the-grid supremacists. Hm. Interesting.
+ June 24, 2009 07:43 AM +
Dog breath in Vernal Utah
Having four arms makes her twice as handy. I often wondered why a macho man would spend the time and money to have elaborate tattoos put on his arms and then do nothing to protect them from sun damage. Anyways today's find is leading to some thoughtful commentary. My tat is 33 years old and of course not as desireable to me as it was the night it was installed.
+ June 24, 2009 07:43 AM +
baby basil in the herb garden
Camelia, oh beautiful plant that gives us tea, for indeed common tea is the dried leaves of Camellia sinensis: the herb garden is in S. Europe. And almost every tattoo studio you run across has pictures of Woody Woodpecker, full length, or just his head. Sometimes the head has an angry face and a large cigar clenched between his...teeth. Yup. A woodpecker with teeth. No surprise then that this tattoo aficionado wants to have four arms...the more to get drawn upon.
+ June 24, 2009 07:48 AM +
Freonz freak in g hallucinations
I think "7. Philla. down spine" means philodendron down the spine. It's a nice looking vine and if you were into tats, it might be something you'd want.
+ June 24, 2009 08:00 AM +
Turnip in Birka
How about 53 tattoo stars in your face? Seems popular in Belgium, at least until the little girls father found out and went ballistic.
+ June 24, 2009 08:42 AM +
Muse on the Loose
Jenna was very eager to get a tattoo, but she had no idea which one to get. At first she was thinking of a cool ribbon tattoo on her neck. But then she thought her religious parents might approve more if it was a cross... and suddenly she had no idea what tattoo to get. She ended up getting two extra arms so she could have them all.
+ June 24, 2009 08:50 AM +
b-b-b-Bored in the Clubhouse
Timely Find, because just last night I was gazing in wide-eyed wonder at this guy who has numerous tatts- intricate and artistic- but I was thinking, why bother? Ok, so you express your individuality and your point of view- maybe even your own artistic prowess with a tattoo gun- while walking the earth.. but once you croak, your flesh rots away pretty quickly.

So there should be some sort of laser or something, so you can tattoo your bones. Yeah. Yeah! Because your bones'll last a lot longer than your flesh. Right?

Either that, or do like The Enigma, and get horns to grow out of your skull. Now THAT'S something. I wonder how that's going for The Enigma these days.

8. Signs on wrist. No parking? STOP? Yield right of way? R/R XING? This space reserved for employee of the month?

Grab Bag, you made my fave comment for this Find. Love that book!
+ June 24, 2009 08:54 AM +
Double Happiness in the Natural History Museum
I have this plastic choker that I wear around my neck. Everyone who notices it asks what it is, and with some variation, asks if it's a tattoo or mentions that they at first thought it was a tattoo. EVERY PERSON.

Personally, if I got a tattoo, I would get the Chinese character for "double happiness" on my shoulder because that's my name.
+ June 24, 2009 08:55 AM +
Turbo in the Thunderdome
Am I the only one who thinks this chick is a lesbian? The last two scream it.
+ June 24, 2009 09:09 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork

@ Turbo ... well, #3 is a "Fairy on lower back" so could it be a guy who wants to be a lesbian?



+ June 24, 2009 09:15 AM +
Lauren in Muncie
10., 15., & 16. do scream lesbian. Of course, my heavily tattooed dyke friend has "Lesbian Mafia" tattooed on her arm, which is slightly more obvious. I don't have any tattoos, but I do want to get one on the inside of my lower lip.
+ June 24, 2009 09:19 AM +
Freonz freak in g hallucinations
Pardon me for asking, but why?
+ June 24, 2009 09:43 AM +
Cock in Your ass
To be frank they all sound unimaginative and cheesy.
+ June 24, 2009 09:47 AM +
Me in the lovely, bird-chirpin', blue morning
Oh God, she's crazy if she does 'ribbon on neck'. Ugh....
So tacky, so tacky.
+ June 24, 2009 10:09 AM +
gorgon in minneapolis
@cock. Right. And your porn name is creative and thoughtful! Frankly.
+ June 24, 2009 10:13 AM +
name in location
the handwriting looks that of a woman, but some of the features of the body sound that of a man. such as # 2, cross on chest, sounds more of a tattoo for a man. but then why would a man get a girl sign on calf?

& # 15 is in black and purple. maybe this is the one she...or he...decided on
+ June 24, 2009 10:33 AM +
george B in texas
name in location,

this is a woman. she is a leasbiean. she picked number 15, and im thinking she will also get number 16.
+ June 24, 2009 10:36 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork

I expect that this list was done in preparation for a a security clearance form or hospital admittance or some such. There can be spaces on those forms where one writes in "any identifiable marks, scars, or tattoos?" I suppose this is just an inventory made to save time.
+ June 24, 2009 11:03 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork

How could I be so blind? I recognize this list. This was the play list for the band playing at the Free State High School Homecoming last autumn in Lawrence.

What a night! What tunes! What dancing! Ah, the memories.
+ June 24, 2009 12:05 PM +
Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine
A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army.

His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis...He agrees, and does so.

When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y.

The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man's penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica.

One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him... The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican, "Wow, that's really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?"

And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says...

"Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"

+ June 24, 2009 12:29 PM +
Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine

http://tinyurl.com/d6vv5s
+ June 24, 2009 12:30 PM +
fooch
I was watching an M*A*S*H rerun the other night and Radar was going to get a tat. Hawkeye and Hunnicutt were trying to talk him out of it.

In the end, Radar got one that washed off...

Times have changed....
+ June 24, 2009 12:34 PM +
Lolita
# feces on ankle.

hmmm...
+ June 24, 2009 12:39 PM +
brain problem situation in my head
This looks like a list that any of the kids in my area could have written (minus the lesbian-esque overtones). Here in rural no-where-land seemingly everyone under 30 is rushing to get as many tatoos as they possibly can.

My teenage cousins all have detailed lists of shitty tatoos that they just can't live without, and each payday they add a new one. Cheesy and poorly done. One tattoo place is even called Outhouse Tattoos.

It reminds me of Dr. Seuss and his Sneetches.
+ June 24, 2009 01:26 PM +
jtpost
"A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army." Uh - to Jamaica? For military service?
+ June 24, 2009 01:45 PM +
NightCleaner in remembrance
I used to have a list like that... I settled on tattooing my left arm between the shoulder and elbow, with a theme of endangered animals and plants. I can remember that I wanted a lightsabre down my left calf for about a year. Bleh!
+ June 24, 2009 01:52 PM +
Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine
@jtpost - yeah that's the one I went with - I've heard other versions of the joke - this was the first one I found...
+ June 24, 2009 03:00 PM +
Terrie-Is-So-Very in totally-unique-ville
I don't have any tattoos, because I'm just rebellious and don't want to be like everybody else.

But after one of my barely turned 18 family members got one (Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.),I made it a point to lecture my kids that if they EVER wanted to get a tattoo, they had BETTER think long and hard and long about it, wait awhile, ask people with amazing tattoos where they got them done, and then save and save until they can afford to get a real work of art at those kinds of places.

If it doesn't doesn't make people say "wow" (wow in a good way) why bother?
+ June 24, 2009 03:01 PM +
brain problem situation in my head
@Nightcleaner A lightsabre on your calf? I think it should have gone all the way down your leg. Now *that* would have had the chicks flocking to you.
+ June 24, 2009 04:40 PM +
The Taunster in West-By-God
And don't forget to tattoo this list on the forehead as an index.
+ June 24, 2009 05:19 PM +
Ozzy in Wonderland
She got all sixteen and limped home.

Isn't "Cross on Chest" a Black Sabbath tune?
+ June 25, 2009 07:58 AM +
Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine
@ The Taunster in West-By-God - I think rather than the whole list on the forehead a simple capital "L" would do. Maybe even with the quotes...
+ June 25, 2009 08:05 AM +
I want the word "Frottage" around my pubes, but in cursive. You know, classy-like? Or in Chinese maybe?
"12. Parents on hip"?!

some of my favorite funny tattoo pics (NSFW):

1. Homer Simpson on beaver (this one's fake but HILARIOUS).

http://images1.makefive.com/images/200918/ffcf

2. "Alien" homage.

http://funchun.com/pictures/funny-tattoo-2.jpg
+ June 25, 2009 03:30 PM +
Clover in the Lawn
Clover on Thumb.

I never ever thought I would ever get a tattoo. But now, after reading this list, I'm seriously considering getting a tasteful pretty little clover tattooed on me somewhere. Not on my thumb, but maybe the ankle. I think that would be pretty cool.
+ June 29, 2009 08:35 PM +
T in U.S.
I sort of wonder if "dot on foot" is actually supposed to read "POT on foot"? A dot doesn't seem to go along with the rest of this list... a pot leaf might. At least she doesn't have "barbed wire around wrist" on there... I think that's one of the tackiest.
+ June 29, 2009 11:00 PM +
has in k too
Dot on foot could be Dot from Tiny Tunes Cartoons from the nineties.
@ Baby Basil,
the woodpecker with the cigar in his teeth is Mr. Horsepower, also it is the tattoo sported by H.I. and Smalls in Raising Arizona. The best movie ever made!
+ June 30, 2009 08:58 AM +

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