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April 24, 2007 |
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#2!
FOUND by Renee Cahill
in New York, New York
I found this on the floor of my apartment building's laundry room. I particularly love the cardinals on the branch full of berries.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
» We're hopping on a plane and jetting to Europe for our Fall 2008 Euro Tour!
» Join Peter Rothbart for his mini-tour of the Pacific Northwest
Ha ha - at first I thought that said "Soiled from CAR accident." Now I realize it says "CAT accident." That's not nearly as funny.
Does "#2!" mean it was the second cat accident, or did Fluffy drop a deuce on somebody's unmentionables?
Or maybe somebody crapped their own pants and is trying to blame it on the cat...
Um, how about "Thrown out alone?!"
Ew! Like the paper, though: 'Something of Note'(lol). But ew! nonetheless
Ewwww, and you touched the note even after reading this?! Just kidding.
One question: If first truly is the worst, and second is the best, where does that leave us in this scenario? And for those dying to know what third is, why, it's the one with the harry chest, of course.
Cat soilage of the #2 kind IS certainly "Something of Note." As a cat caretaker, I agree with the whole laundry separation idea.
Damn Cats.
Hmmm.... "Cat accident #2". 2nd cat to have an accident? 2nd time kitty has had an accident? (three strikes and yer OUT?) Or was it something... solid? Thanks for the nice warning, but I personally woulda tossed whatever it was.
What? Is this person a serial cat killer? And did the cat truly have an 'accident'? Or is this serial cat killer arranging the bodies to look like accidents. Hmmmmmm...... What evidence is being washed away?
if someone tells you to wash something seperately because a cat had an accident on it.. i don't think it's really necessary to then tell them what number it was. Really, if a cat poos on an article of my clothing, it's going in the trash. no amount of washing is going to make me wear something after that.
Ummm... washing machines *wash* things, people! Haven't you heard of global warming, full landfills, etc.? Sheesh. Poop washes out. So does cat pee. It's *clean* after that. Get over yourselves.
If they aren't pissing in your laundry basket, they're shitting in it.
This person has so many cats that they no longer get names.....just numbers :-)
I wonder what cat #3 is up to??? :-)
At least it wasn't #1! Have you ever SMELLED cat urine? *shudder*
Whenever there is a picture on a note, I imagine that the things in the picture wrote the note.
Who does number 2 work for? WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR?!
dangit...#2 was the one that got away...I WILL FIND YOU AND WHEN I DO...ITS CURTIANS FOR YOU KITTY!
Wash it yourself!
Who leaves stuff like that for others to clean up? With an instruction note?
Puh-leeze!
so i'm not the only one who deals with this nonsense. kitty's daddy has threatened her with extinction, but i always defend her. at least she's peeing in the basket, and clothes can be easily washed.
Yes at least the cat missed the berries.
But that stationery is exquisite. Why can't
I ever FIND something, as cool as this?
Accident? This is no 'accident'. When the cat goes #2 outside of the box it is because he/she utterly hates you. This was done with malicious intent. So there!
You know, the best thing to do really would be BURN IT. Don't wash it, you'll always know what was there. Don't throw it away, the smell will never go away. Just incinerate the sucker.
Two unrelated observations:
When a cat does that, it's no accident. Et Poo, Kitte? (see find of March 15, 2007)
I never saw the episode of "The Prisoner" in which #2 ordered #6 to do laundry. Did the guard baloons get the cat?
I think you can tell a lot about someone by the stationary they write on lol
#2? It's a dirty note... what better time to remind you all about our DIRTY FOUND tour starting TOMORROW!!! Come meet me, Jason Bitner (the creator of this here website), and Arthur Jones (the designer of the same) and witness a goofy PowerPoint presentation sharing FOUND's smuttiest finds. Wooo!
We've got stops in Oakland, SF, LA, Houston, Austin, Missouri, Champaign, Milwaukee, Chicago, Indy, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Philly, Boston and NYC. Come by and say hey, aiight? Looking forward to meeting you all! JB
Another reason not to like cats. They'll just randomly 'bust a dook' on their owner's clothes. This was no accident if you ask me.
I guess her cat should have left a note that said "I'm going to SHIT in your laudry basket."
pinch a loaf?
launch a torpedo?
drop the kids off at the pool?
dump a butt nugget?
squeeze out a brownie?
bake a cat cookie?
naaaaaahhh!
Matt wins!
Jason from FOUND HQ! Why not Portland Oregon!?
Everyone forgets about us... :(
I think my grandma has that stationary... strange.
The people who casually suggest that cat urine easily washes out of clothing are probably the same people whose homes, belongings, cars, clothing, etc. reek of cat piss.
I love cats, but if I wouldn't get one if I wasn't prepared to properly train it. And if the training doesn't take, then it's off to the no-kill shelter. It's really hard for me to have any respect for people who let their pets run their household.
OMG! Matt, you had me at "bust a dook", but then here comes "looking..." with a list fit to kill someone in joy. My personal favorite is 'dump a butt nugget'
I have a friend with an elderly cat named Ginger. Ginger is a lovey girl, has about four teeth left, has matting in her fur because she's too lazy to clean, and is very disorientated: for a while, she had what my friend called "mud butt" and would squirt in the lowest, nearest spot she could find! This included dirty laundry on the floor, a hammock, etc. I think this kitty accident was truly a kitty accident, much like the senior citizen Ginger's were.
Some of my favorites:
Pumping a shark.
Growing the tail.
Releasing the chocolate hostages.
And finally, one that was just coined yesterday by a co-worker of mine who used to have a second home in upstate New York. One spring, on their first day back up there, Julie walked into the bathroom to find a surprise. She immediately started yelling at her husband for taking a dump and not flushing. But it turns out that they had winterized the house, part of which included putting antifreeze in the toilets. Apparently, a chipmunk got into the house and decided to go for a swim, never to be seen alive again.
So from now on in this office, pooping will be referred to as "killing a chipmunk."
...and so Big Bertha sat on another one, by "accident"--goodbye Kiddlydiddlywupplepuffmcflurry II, wherever you are.
Flargy said:
The people who casually suggest that cat urine easily washes out of clothing...
What about formally suggesting? 'Cause just a splash of bleach in the laundry will take care of it, and won't bleach out your clothes. Now, carpets and wood floors are a different matter, still haven't figured those out. Not that I have any experience... because I'm *certainly* not allowing the cat to run the household.
At least, that's what Feo told me to say.
=^_^=
I hate to be a walking advertisement but they make products that do remove the horrendous smell of cat urine and other pet stains...my favorite being Simple Solution that I get at Petco.
Why waste perfectly good clothing-blankets-dishes-curtains or whatever was soiled?
Da Rulez:
Baby Ruth = Keeper
Jello Pudding = Toss
making dirt.
Sorry, but regular laundry soap (and I buy the cheap stuff) takes out cat urine. Since I wasn't allowed to take out the cat that peed all over the dirty laundry all the time, I had to do with what I could.
Takes out the color and the smell. Get over it or increase your clothing budget.
No one's mentioned "taking the Browns to the Superbowl"
Got that one from Larry the Cable Guy
I thought "dropping a deuce" was funny enough! Is that what Springsteen was referring to when he sang "cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night"????
I just think whoever wrote this should have just thrown it in the washer instead of leaving #2 for someone else .
If you get to the point where you actually have a favorite brand of cat piss stench remover, then the cat is getting way too much say in whether or not things in the house get pissed on.
Pet Lover: dishes?!?!?!? I love my kitty too, but that's the more repulsive that "butt nugget". eww!
Just a couple of thoughts about this find and its discussion...
Anyone know why these bodily functions are called #1 and #2? I love this bit of trivia, and much to my mother's dismay, I love even more to pass it along to unsuspecting friends/family/strangers. It is because when the body must void, #1 comes out first, then #2. Like if you have to do both. Check it out. Try and #2 before you #1. Betcha can't do it. My nursing supervisor told me that. Michael will find out, if he continues on his current carreer path.
Secondly, this post is so appropriate to me, as we have a cat, currently jailed in the garage, awaiting a death sentence. He has a completely rotten attitude. If *anything* pops his fragile little bubble of a world, he evacuates his bowels in the most creative of places. The kitchen table. The baby's play pen. Your pillow if you pissed him off. My personal favorite. He was hating on my mom for a while, and every night he would take a dook in the floor, in the exact same square of linoleum Moms would have to stand in to make her coffee in the morning, effectively making her pick up dookie even before she was fully awake/had her coffee.
He truly is a heinous beast, but we love him. I can't blame him for being angry. Moms had his claws removed, his nuts cut off, and keeps him in a house with 4 other cats. I'd be pissed off too.
OK....
unpacking fudge
birthing a texan (after cheeks a-flexin')
recycling the veggies
butt chumming
butt bombing (why is BUTT soooooooo funny?)
And do you know why poops are tapered at the ends?
So your ass don't slam shut.
Don't step in the pup fudge, dog logs, hound hersheys, lawn mines, butt biscuits, buttitos. (see?)
Geez, such judgenmental people.
JJ, I wondered if anyone would catch the dishes comment - it may have been found in a laundry room but was the item to be washed specified? I don't think so!
Flargy, I have one cat who uses her litter box without fail. I am potty training one dog who is doing well going outside. However, if you have rental property and they sneak cats in that piss all over, then you learn what your favorite cat piss stench remover is in a hurry.
But I still love my own pets.
Just the other day at work a guy had to go to the bathroom because he "had one touching cloth."
Still Looking, you forgot lawn cigars, and links (like the ones in old Mad Magazine cartoons).
Vetta, is that along the same lines as having a turtle head peeking out?
"taking the Cosby kids to the pool"
Got a magnum in the chamber, and it's no hollowpoint.
Gotta let the bear out of the cave.
There's a foul wind blowin', and the logjam's about to burst.
See thats why I personally hate cats. Dumbest. They are at least dumb compared to the superior dogs so once they're trained don't shit randomly.So bah to the cats.
I haven't had more fun reading about poop-snakes and laying cable in a long time, "bust a dook" being my favorite. And to think this whole time, I thought #2 was Commander Ryker.
Prairie Doggin'
Yep Flargy, that's what I was thinking!
Prairie Doggin'
Wow. I can't believe I called Commander RIKER number two. It's been a while. With all the dook-speak, I was reminded of Beavis and Butthead when they mock Star Trek. "Number one? I order you to take a number two!" Please forgive me.
I actualy met Jonathan Frakes and had the honor of sitting on his glasses. He smokes menthols.
Prairie Doggin'
oh god, I am crying from laughing. each time I peek back at the comments there's a new list of euphemisms that sends me into fits. Keep 'em coming, PLEASE. I haven't laughed this hard since the Farting Evangelist videos.
i think i found the other half to this letter it said ........It wasn't an accident. Love, the cat."
Swiss rolls
Gopher between the hills
Groundhog day
rough roughage
bustin a crap in my ass
reverse probe
and my personal favorite:
pulling a goatse
sadddddddddd.
Pinching a loaf.
seeing a man about a horse
prarie doggin it
anal snakes
drop a wad in the porcelain god
'catching up on some reading'
I agree with TTQuick...100%
Actually,no I don't think I'd keep the article of clothing that was Baby Ruthed on.I changed my mind.
ewwww I hope you don't use the same machine.
Serioulsy, if my cat did anything on my dishes she would end up in my chow mein.
Haha, so apparently her kitty crapped on her clothes and she took them into the cleaners to get them washed...funny. But what I want to know is, why did she have to write about the cat crapping on her clothes, especially the part where she writes "#2!"...so good. :-)
Jo, were the glasses on his face at the time?
Jonathan Frakes "smokes menthols"
Just "make it so"
"dropping the kids off at the pool"
Rex, yes they were. And he was standing up. I'm that good.
My secretary just said he had to take a call from nature on line # 2.
Dookspeak rules!
There's no such thing as a cat "accident" they are mischevious and vindictive creatures. I bet there will be a #3 and #4 in the near future.
I misread 'busting a dook' as 'dusting a book' the first time.
That works too.
Darn. All the good comments are already taken.
Diarreah speak:
number three
dropping a double deuce
I AM NOT A NUMBER! I AM A FREE CAT!