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April 15, 2007 |
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WASP Spray
FOUND by Torey Lightcap
in Conroe, Texas
Found outside a pie shop by the curb. It was so poetically enigmatic that I taped it up next to my computer. I d never seen an animal on a shopping list before. Also, I like how the use of all capital letters inadvertently implies that the list-maker had an allergy to white, Anglo-saxon Protestants.
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Panhandlers For... August 30, 2006 |
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The Stranger September 21, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I want some orange juicy!
what is "cold food"? like comfort food for when u have a cold? or is it "cold food" as in "food that's not hot"?! such a mystery....oh and i don't think it's "juicy", but what seems like the long leg of a "y" is actually the backbone to the D in Dog...which is another mystery, haha...
I looked at the note a second time and read "orange juicy dog". Ha..
Mmmmm. orange juicy dog....
I like to read it as "Wasp Spray orange cold food juice dog!" It's more fun that way.
orange juicy.. okay.. but is it cold food or cold dog food, or maybe cold dog food.. i thought i was all cold.. hmm
I would write these things on my hand so that nobody would find a piece of paper like this and post comments about me!!
god forbid she got the lean dog instead of the juicy one.
juice dog?..... deeeeeelicious!
Or perhaps that's a juicy dog?
if only W.A.S.P. spray really worked . . . sigh
Cold Food? Doesn't sound very good...
There is something desperate about this note. All caps in black marker?
no, people, it's a personals ad.
looking for:
W.A.S.P.,
orange (some people like fake tan),
juicy,
spray (spayed).
will meet over
cold dog food.
I don't see desperation at all - the only "all caps" are the WASP part. And it's a harmless Sharpie, that's all.
Your friendly neighborhood W.A.S.P.,
M in P
This looks like a quick list jotted on a scrap of notebook paper (the way the words are all crammed) with the last writing implement in the house because the kids always take them. I often start off with all caps, but soon tire of yelling at myself. Dog could be pick up the dog from the groomers or not just dog food, but shampoo and everything else for the dog. Seems like a really busy day kind of list.
Am I the only one that sees lower case letters? What do you mean all caps?
To K-Nasty in Sactown Re:
"Oh, and all you judgenmental bitches:
I honestly and wholeheartedly appreciate your dedicated continuation of possibly the longest running joke on Found. However, if you do your research, one of the main funny parts of it is that the poster spelled the word judgeNmental, with the extra "n". Please try to keep the joke running the way it was meant to be."
Dear K-Nasty, You are the worst kind of judgemental, oops, pardon me, judgenmental bitch. You are not a grammar nazi, you are a running joke nazi. I've never met one before, so you must be the first. Quit crying and enjoy it, don't piss and moan about it and ruin the fun for everyone else. You dont own judgenmental or bitches. So there! Go suck on that juicy dog!
Am I the only one that doesn't get what Torey means when he(she) says "the use of all capital letters inadvertently implies that the list-maker had an allergy to white, Anglo-saxon Protestants"?
Could someone please explain that?
Oh this is my favorite one in a looong time!
I love it!
WASP Spray is a staple on my list - ha ha!
and so is COLD DOG - so much more interesting than Warm Dog...
I always try to find ORANGE COLD FOOD -but that's more seasonal....not to mention how difficult it can be to find JUICY DOG anywhere...
This is so funny! What a JUICY FIND
Juicy dog ! That would be a weiner dog !
i dont get it, y does capitol letters suggest an allergy to white, anglo-saxon protestants? think ur taking out of ur orange juicy dog! :)
HELLO?! Wikipedia and Google exist for a reason!
WASP is an ACRONYM for White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.
It is also the name aof a winger insect, for which there exists a repellent which is usually sold in spray-canisters. Usualt this is bought by people allergic to the insects and their stingers.
Hence, if the WASP in capitals on the note is interpreted as White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, we get the donor's comment:
"Also, I like how the use of all capital letters inadvertently implies that the list-maker had an allergy to white, Anglo-saxon Protestants."
It's a shame this had to be posted, really it is.
Thanks Shouted greeting....way funny!!!
Boo ya
i always come here and enjoy the finds and everything, but honestly, you all get way too frazzled about the "true" meaning behind these things.
but i still love you.
and the sexy time.
Oooh-ooh "Judge" viewing this webpage from "Mental", now it's on. On like weed in the bong.
Ya see, if you look real close at yo computer screen, there were NO tears on it. I wasn't crying. Boo-yaki-sha!
Second, I have a hard time enjoying a joke that people have butchered. I like my jokes right off the cow, not cut up and served in white paper by a dude wearing an apron.
"Piss and moan"? What is this, some kinda R-Kelly porno? You must look at some nasty stuff when you're not on the Found website.
And talk about ruining the fun... look at your post, you judgenmental bitch! Taking up hella room quoting mine. I think I remember what I posted only hours ago.
And then you gotta go and say I don't own bitches! Like you know what I own and don't own. I happen to own hella many bitches, so get off dis juicy dog!
Why don't Judge & K-Nasty stop the childs play, and stop using foul language. Especially when it has nothing to do with the posted item. Take it elsewhere kiddies.
A, that's a good idea. Judge, see me outside. (takes off shirt, hops around on toes and shadow-boxes in preparation for the whoopin he's about to deliver)
Shouted Greeting, thanks for the tip about Google and Wikipedia. God forbid someone ask for an explanation from actual people, perpetuating those vile rituals known as "discourse" and "human interaction."
Oh, and since you brought up the topic of things existing for a reason, I would say spellcheck is something that falls into that category. Since you don't appear to be familiar with it, may I suggest you look it up on Google or Wikipedia? Thanks.
Because being at a computer is really human interaction. It just oozes human interaction to me.
And, by the way, as for discourse, there was discourse... They asked a question, I bitched to them about not being able to utilize all the tools they have access to.
And as for the typing, we're all human. Though given your flawless 'discourse', I suppose you maybe be an example of Artifical Intelliegence...with an incomplete circuit, evidently.
In the context of Internet discussion, where people scattered all over the world are on a message board discussing a topic (however pointless or inane it may be), I would say that asking a question of another poster is the equivalent of human interaction (as opposed to referring to Google or Wikipedia). Hopefully, most people also have plenty of opportunity for face-to-face human interaction in real life as well.
I never claimed to be of superior intelligence, and I don't point out other people's typing/spelling shortcomings unless they get up on a high horse about some other trivial issue. And if you think that having to explain to someone what "WASP" stands for constitutes "really a shame," maybe it's time to hop off that high horse and reassess your priorities.
What say you then, dearest Flargy, O wonderful debate-opposition of mine, if I needlessly retorted that Wikipedia and Google are in fact human communcation because they were at one point in time or another written by humans.
Especially Wikipedia, as it has thousands of editors day in, day out.
Furthermore...
Mind you, I have an extremely comfortable high horse, so why not get on it?
I think that having to explain WASP to someone is "really a shame" when the original poster clearly wrote
"white, Anglo-saxon protestant"
If, however these words did not appear on the page, I naturally would have adopted a much less judgenmentally bitchy tone.
There exists a method to this madness, as you must know.
wait a second... you people actually talk to other people in real life as well as on the internet? really? that's... i didn't know that was possible. But, what if... i mean, what if like, you were talking and you accidentally, like... touched each other? how terrifying.