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March 27, 2007 |
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LOSER
FOUND by Jack Rothenbuehler
in Melbourne, Australia
Gotta love a break-up note written on black cat stationery.
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Office She-yit February 13, 2007 |
Baby Jesus October 10, 2007 |
Dragon Yard Sale January 27, 2008 |
To Prevent a Horse... September 30, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I love a loser i can't be with too!
This is wrong on SO many levels!
AVERT YOUR EYES! It gets no lighter today. OK, everyone else, help me out. Is "LOSER" the writer or is Josh the loser? And what is a loser but a winner turned inside out? (Or is it upside down? BACKWARDS, maybe???)
oh yeah, and I'm going to pee in your laundry basket!
Wow... how sad.
ooh,
mee-YOW.
What a bitch. Not a judgenmental one, just the plain ole type.
I love the cat. The note is really superb: love you, but... The payload is really unsurpassable. I wonder what Josh did after receiving it.
haha i laughed so hard when reading this. it starts out "i love you" thinking its going to be all sweet then turns right around and says "i cant be with you LOSER" i dont know HOW many times ive felt that way.
and the fact its on black cat stationary.. kinda symbolizes bad luck with guys.
I hate cats.
Anyone ever wonder if people purposely write up something nutty and then send it in? It'd be kind of sad if that were true -- burst the mystery bubble, so-to-speak. This one just brings out the curiousity in me, I suppose.
that's great Jack! where abouts exactly in our fine city did you find it?
once again.... welcome to my world! Ever have somebody you care about that turns out to be a freak? sigh!
I've always wondered how cats break-up :-)
yeah, disillusioned. i've wondered that myself many times... found folks, have you ever come across a found that was clearly fabricated or plagarized for the sole purpose of being published? it would be interesting to hear any stories on that topic.
one time my cat peed on my dad when he was asleep in bed. tee-hee.
I get the feeling she's explained things to him over and over... but with the mixed messages, he just didn't get it. This note hopefully cleared all that up, poor Joshie.
And the theme for this week is... losers!!
I like this kind of breaking up. I've broken up with a couple of losers and if you give them a chance to talk they'll just make it worse.
Wow.... Kind of expecting a "You suck" in there somewhere, too. She couldn't have even said, "I love you BUT I can't be w/you"?? Seems like it *might* have softened the blow a little. Oh, wait, guess the whole LOSER part at the end rather shoots that to shit.
Lindsey in Snowmass from in decisive; HA-HA. I was drinking my coffee when you said, "OK, everyone else, help me out. Is "LOSER" the writer or is Josh the loser?" & I almost spit it out. Ha.ha.
Now I have quite the hankerin' for some black cat stationary.
Ok, so I know it shouldn't be funny. But I too couldn't stop laughing. I'm in love with a loser too. I'd be with him if I could though...
Well, once a black cat crosses your path...
Here's my take on the scenario: Josh and his GF (lets call her... jo?) are living together in woeful unhappiness. they are so codependent that they stay together inspite of Jo's many infidelities. Finally Jo has had enough of Joshing moping and whining, so clears out the apartment when he's at work and leaves this note on the countertop, with the white writing utensil next to it. Josh gets home, shocked, reads the note and impusively picks up the writing utensil and scrawls "LOSER" accross the bottom. Then goes out and gets fucked like a rockstar for the next week, quickly forgetting his painful past life with Jo.
this is incredible- i JUST broke up with a LOSER named Josh, and some of the break-up conversation went almost exactly like this. I DO love his brain & wits- but he is a lazy stoner who couldn't possibly give a crap about anything (least of all me) except spending money he shouldn't be spending on things he doesn't need.
haha.. this is so something that i would do..
Geeze - don't know what's better? The cat stationary note paper, or the term of endearment "loser?"
This is just All-Kinds-Of-Wrong.
Funny! But, still wrong.
OMG- I just had a thought: This note COULD be from the cat!
Smudge the cat tried to run away from Josh....reallized he had it good at Josh's house, what with the yum-yum cat treats...the jingle toys and first dibs on the leftover milkshakes on Saturdays.
He had a change of heart & told Josh how he really felt....but, being a cat after all, he couldn't be TOOO vulnerable so he threw in "LOSER" at the end...to save face/whiskers w/his pals at the park.
OMG- It all makes sense to me now.
This note is great. And it reminds me of them kit-cat clocks (as sold here: http://www.perpetualkid.com/index.asp?PageAction=VI note to Perpetual Kid: advertising revenue I earned from posting this link can be directly deposited into my fat mattress). My parents had one in their basement when I was a youngin'. I used to stare at it in full mezmerization. I'm glad I was able to break its spell on me or I might have ended up a loser like the losers featured in this week's finds. Instead, I ended up the well adjusted, funk soul brother that I am, a dude that is envied by the lady-like Flargy and Jo-infatuated Rex.
Wow - I never thought cats would be so passive-agressive.
The startling fickleness of this note makes the medium all the more appropriate. Sounds to me like Josh is better off without this wackadoo.
Rex, the white writing utensil is a gel pen. They used to be the real cool thing like seven years ago. I haven't seen one in a really long time...
haha.. this is so something that i would do..
Yeah. Something about this being written on that cat stationery makes it completely hilarious.
Not only did they have a killer black cat pad but also the white pen to write on it with. How handy - when you need to break up with someone over a NOTE.
I feel so sorry for Josh, loser or not, he got dumped over a note. Lame.
eGGS, DON'T MAKE ME TAKE OFF THIS APRON, COME OUT OF THE KITCHEN, TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK KEY, AND LIKE, TOTALLY SLAP YOU.
nOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, i'VE GOT TO GO POWDER MY NOSE. oR DO MY NAILS. oR SOMETHING.
I am for sure doing that next time i give someone the shaft
Hey disillusioned and kyle and everyone who's ever wondered the same,
It's a frequent question here at FOUND and we're happy to share some insights.
I remember an interview with the producers of America's Funniest Home Videos (we're a total AFV knockoff, after all) and they said something like "we can always tell when videos are staged. We get so many submissions, you start to develop a sixth sense for the fakes."
And it's true! We now get TWELVE THOUSAND submissions each year, and when you've seen so much, you start to get a feel for the ones that don't seem quite so genuine...
We start with that knowledge, and then take our favorites down the hall to the FOUND Authenticizor 3000(TM) which incinerates those which fall through the cracks.
Glad you asked!
Flargy, I am so freakin' ecstaticly happified to see that you have finally accepted the role prescribed to you by God and our Lord Jesus. It warms me to hear about people getting comfortable with who they are. Now get to checkin' that apple pie that's in the oven, honeycakes.
SpaJunkie, I too would come back for the leftover milkshakes. A milkshake just sounds so delish right now. Maybe if I'm nice to Flargy she'll make me one to go along with that pie. Mmmmm...
Sigh...note to self...
This person sounds highly confused or just mean...maybe he/she likes to play with emotions? Either way..just plain mean.
This is a great breakup, but not as great as one of my all time favorites:
we r so over
haha I'm definitely using that sometime!
HAHA! Flargy has a vagina!!!
Rex, I will only cheat on you. So please....stop...loving...ME! This playful "pick on the girl you like" thing got Eggs(1234) nowhere. And now he's an empty shell of a human being that now loves a man that became a woman but insists he's still a man. He wants her to make him a pie!! A pie!!!!
LOL. I think Peeing in your Laundry basket would get the point across just as well, but....
Eggs 1-2-3-4! I always look forward to your comments. They make the experience more fun, than just the Found item itself!
Eggs1313MockingbirdLane, I'm not actually "accepting" anything of the sort. I just thought I would humor you so that you might not feel like such an outcast merely because you prefer that the men in your life dress like women. It's okay, really. There are lots of people like you in the world. Most can be found via classified ads in the "Back Room" section of the New Haven Advocate.
Love,
Flargita (your favorite pseudo-BBW)
I would totally dress in drag for Eggs...1234
This note is my life...cause his name is actually Josh and he is in fact a loser!
fucking cats. can't pick up a fucking phone.
wait, am i allowed to swear here? i guess we'll find out.
Best post in a long time. Ima go eBay for some cat stationary now.
I think Josh has been stringing her the "I love you, but baby I can't be with you line" for a while. She's just dishing it back, letting him know she's had enough and editorializing with the "Loser" bit. I once broke up with a guy by writing "congratufuckinglations loser, you have stood me up for the LAST time!" in red lipstick on his car windshield...but only because I didn't have cat paper and a gel pen!
So she loves him but can't be with him because he's a LOSER? What a bitch n and how can she both love and call him such- it just clashes! Man so harsh and then to break it over in a letter...would have never done such a thing.
How much porn are you surfing that you know about BBW? Amazing that you just assume that everyone else knows what you are talking about. Come over later I'll ATM you with my BBC!!! 30 watts per channel Babycakes.
Josh didn't come home till real late (again)
damn those construction workers, while writter on black cat stationary has a real job and has to get her beauty sleep, not get woke up after Josh closes the bar. And I'm sure he thought he was being cute. Third night in a row makes kitty not wanna play............me sleepy. Still love ya loser!
i was curious. since i'm not a cat, that's not dangerous.
i love house. but not cats.
Looks like the writer had a little trouble getting the pen to work so they scribbled next to the eye until it showed up. Damn, I hate when that happens.
Totally ironic- i broke up with a loser named josh not too long ago, and it was basically just as Curious in Charlotte, NC described it... he just didn't understand! So, as this note does so clearly, i had to print it for him in black and white.
wow. i had to break it off with somebody this morning. cat stationary would have been so much classier than email!!
I don't think this is a breakup note...I think somebody's frustrated that they can't be with Josh...so they're writing it all out. Mayhaps he's attached?
Dump her, Josh. This girl loves you!!! :D
aargh, cat pee is back, as is "judgenmental." btw, Fazlia, what's the difference between a plain ol bitch and the judgenmental type?
I kind of think this is a note to self. Like she's trying to write him a letter telling him how much she loves him, but then she realizes she's too much of a LOSER for him, and signs it appropriately.
"Left by the lamp right next to the bed
On a cartoon cat pad, she scratched with a pen
'Everything is as it's always been--this never happened. Don't take it bad, it's nothing you did
Just once something dies, you can't make it live
You're a beautiful boy, you're a sweet little kid,
but I am a woman!'"
Spooky! My husband's name is Josh and we just saw this episode of Sex and the City last night. OOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOO
Am so loving this stationery! Wonder where Jack got it from... Melbourne Central? QV? Fed Square? Or could it be Chadstone, perhaps?
Well, Jack, if solely based on this site, a judgenmental bitch is far more literate than a plain one. Go figure.
Wow, so many people know losers named Josh! I do too!
*Note to people planning to have kids - don't name them Josh!!
*Not a note to self because I don't want kids.
It becomes less and less about the find, and more about provoking others to reply, doesn't it. Look at you people! You've become an e-community.
Gross!
People with cats are losers...I hate cats AND losers!
I had that notepad when i was little :D
I think my favorite part about this find is the fact that in desicive addressed me!! that made me happy!!
does anyone else think the note might be signed with "Loser"? as in "I'm a loser because I can't be with you…"
wow. i think i found the perfect note to leave my boyfriend. minus the loser part. short and simple.
maybe she's the loser for using cat stationary?
Josh I love you - I can't be with you - LOSER. Introduction, Body, Conclusion. Well constructed, yet lacking grammar and punctuation... and without adequate linkages between the three parts. Josh would have been justified in requesting further clarification. I like the general tone of this piece though. A nice find!
haha so true
I had this exact cat note-paper about 10 years ago. Brings back the memories. I might still have some. I think it came with a silver pen to write on.
My Grandma bought me the same cat stationery when I was about 13. It came with a silver pen for the writing. I like this one.
I wrote my comment without seeing yours Alastair, apologies!! I was 13 thirteen years ago. Damn I feel old. :(
sometimes i feel this way, like i almost get mad at them or myself 'cause i can't be with them, even though it's not either of our faults. and the whole thing with Flargy had me cracking up. lmao Flargita. so very awesome.