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March 26, 2007 |
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I Hate Myself
FOUND by Amy Lazar
in Schaumburg, Illinois
I was at the Schaumburg Library looking up books, and I needed a sheet of paper to write call numbers on. As I reached into the paper tray, I found this drawing. I was tempted to write a message on it and leave it for someone else to find, but I couldn't resist borrowing it first.
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Burn! January 07, 2008 |
Not a Cookie November 23, 2003 |
Damaged Heart November 08, 2005 |
Lost Turtle April 03, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
The PostSecret/Found identity crisis continues. You gotta love the leopard print, um, whatever that is. Speedo? Diaper? Hmm. A self-loathing Tarzan?
I hope this guy's outlook improves. The only person we're with 24/7 is ourselves, and it helps to get along.
Take a look at those abs, though. It seems that working out didn't help his self-esteem.
id hate myself too if i had a body like that
That's sad. Maybe some new undies (not polk-dotted) would cheer him up.
Oh. I feel so sad for this person if it's a serious drawing of how they feel about themselves.
If it's meant to be a goofy cartoon - then it's wonderful. Kind of has a Fred Flintstone feel.
My gut says it's more serious than just a cartoon.
Great find Amy! Thanks for sharing. You gonna pass it on or keep it?
This is soooo sad/cute!
Is that a leopard print speedo?
wow what a great find...this looks like someone i know!
I never knew Tarzan had a self esteem problem.
Don't we all...
obviously this man has spent WAY to much time with some judgenmental bitch.
today's find is an sad continuation of yesterday's theme.
i've noticed that many of the most self-loathing finds on this site are found at libraries.
its the underwear, maybe the feet, and the very sharp shoulder, not to mention your head is as big as your whole body; you're a mess, guy. (talk about a judgenmental bitch)
This is actually very relevant to my thoughts of late. I've been thinking a lot about the effect of the suburbs recently. (Schaumburg is a particularly ugly suburb of Chicago) I think that a lot of people can't help but hate themselves in a place that is basically one huge cultureless outdoor mall - think of any chain store or restaurant and Schaumburg absolutely, definitely, without a doubt has one or more of that store. I bet the library was the only place that this individual would guess that an actual real caring person would find their note.
Don't worry, Tarzan. Jane still loves you.
Obviously he's down because he still has his left foot stuck in '81.
I don't know why he has a nice treasure trail.
I have found in my recent studies that most cavemen truly do have low self esteem; probably due to all those Geiko commercials...
then again, it takes a pretty secure man to wear a leopard fur speedo?
mayb he's just now realizing that molesting his dead grandmother was wrong...?
This is definitely not a self portrait. This is one cruel person (lets call her... uh... Jo.) drawing a second vain person (lets call him Eggs).
Jo knows Eggs well enough to understand that underneath the vain, musclebound exterior (as well as under the designer shorts) he's actually totally inadequate and self-hating. She also knows his specific embarrassments: the nose, the toes and the lips.
But, it's all in good fun, because (she thinks) she also knows that he really has a hard core of self-confidence that her good hearted mockery cannot penetrate.
Unfortunately she is mistaken. Eggs, even though he encourages this bahavoir (his way of maintaining a safe distance from other humans) is actually terribly insecure and nigh suicidal. Poor Eggs.
This pair's mutually terrified love can never be fully requitted (though it has surely been sexually consummated) because the protective ironic sheilds both wear are constantly clanging off each other in a caccophany of laughter and false insults that (in the right light) sometimes sound like cries of existential angst.
There is nothing unique in this story. This is the life we all live, if you can call this living.
Rex Winsome has it exactly right, I'm sure of it!!! Who among us has not drawn a picture of someone else and made them say something jerky? This is not a self portrait!!! This is a picture of someone the "author" is close to...
Haha! Rex is much funnier than eggs,Jo and Flargy.
it is hard to love yourself when you only have 3 fingers on each hand, and 3 toes on each foot. very hard.
I've watched enough teen movies to know this is about a hot jock on the swim team that secretly hates himself even though it seems like he has it all.
i think it's a commical, albeit self loathing commentary on his educational pursuits. if you look closely you can see that his feet are firmly planted on grades. (a "C" and an 81.) i think he should stop going to toga parties.
Ah, self hate week! I forgot to mark my calendar.
Although that is a very nice assumption Rex, I believe that perhaps this is a drawing of you.
Clearly you have "issues" that can only be addressed by picking on "cruel" people like myself and "vain" people like Eggs. I might warn you that the "Wonder Twin Powers of Cruel and Vain" are certainly not the Double-Fisted Hammer-of-Justice you want to rumble with, my friend.
Lastly, it is also in very bad form to change your name to "Sad Day" to make yourself feel good about being a meany-boober-eeny. A sad day, indeed.
If 81, C is his grade, he may be dissapointed. I had teachers in high school that handed us papers with grades on them. Maybe he was annoyed so he drew that character.
As for self hate week. I don't know if i can take 5 more days of this. Bring on the red pen!
I think stuck in suspension hit the nail on the head with this one. I dated a guy who was born with three fingers on one hand, and he really hated himself. He could never figure out how a girl like myself, full of self-esteem, could possibly love someone with only a triad of digits. This character obviously has the same confusion and self loathing, as he is lacking a total of eight digits. I'll be this gentleman has dumped plenty a girl because of his pathetic dislike for himself.
Come on people, get over the self-pity... What is so hard about liking yourself? I personally am sick of hearing all of the whining about how you are SO ugly, your life is dismal, and how no one loves you. Suck it up or shut up!
I disagree, crack in g. If this person was born with a medical disorder which caused the formation of only three digits on each of the extremities of his limbs, the emphasis of the drawing would be on these points in the picture.
Clearly, we can see that the head of the character takes up the most space of the picture, which, from a psychological standpoint, suggests that, if this note is truly an identification of self-hatred, the individual in question hates himself perhaps for his thoughts. The exaggeration of the lips also lends to the theory that he may hate himself for something that he has said.
The detailing of the undergarment may suggest a subconscious need for the artist to pull himself away from the top portion of the picture and focus away from the centre of what might be disturbing him.
Also somewhat disturbing to me was that the face itself was drawn with one crude (U-shaped) line. Conversely, the hair has multiple lines which suggest depth. This might be an indication that they artist values change, as hair is changeable, moldable, whereas his facial features, short of plastic surgery, are not accessibly moldable to him.
The section that I have the most pity for is the eyes. They seem drawn upwards in a sort of pleading glance, begging to be saved, in such a fashion that many cal “puppy-dog” eyes. It is interesting to note that only the eyes are asymmetrical in this doodle: the hands are the same, the lips, and even (what I can only assume are) nipples.
aaaaaah, how sad in a sweet way. I hope the guy finds himself a Wilma to cheer him up. Or maybe now a days a Barney. What ever tickles his pickle.
This reminds me of The Todd from Scrubs. What with the leopard print banana hammock and all. Don't you people watch scrubs?
Hey, I go to this library all the time!! I've found a few things there, myself and left things to be found...sadly not this one. It's a gem.
Hm, this one's not got his hands in his pants. I hate my Job (today)
I hate country music I hate my Ex I hate pawn shops, speed bumps , nosey neibors and running outa bud, But I LOVE MYSELF.(often)
can anyone find anything positive in this world?? tomorrow i want something that makes me smile a little. and let's all cheer up!! let's not hate ourselves so much anymore either, eh? :)
I love Jo, Eggs and Flargy, but Rex Winsome- you won today.
As much as I admire all you people for your extraordinary analization powers, I still just think somebody was bored and doodled a picture, then thought it was funny that it turned out so depressed-looking and added the quote. I've done that tons of times with my friends with similar results.
This reminds me of friends drawing pictures on my notes. In which case the people were from whatever we were studying.
maybe he was naked but now-retired john ashcroft saw him and draped a loincloth on his netherregions.
Oh, guys, you're hilarious.
Yeah, this is THE Amy Lazar, and I found this find quite a while back. I'm actually now an employee of the Sch. library (have been for 4 months now). I've met some interesting people (I'm pretty sociable, and I love the patrons my co-workers consider "weird"), and I've found some pretty interesting things in returned library books. I mail some of it back to respective patrons (you know, sentimental values), and some items I keep.
Working at the library is an adventure, to say the least. If I can get a working scanner, I'll send some of the stuff in.
Thanks for all of the comments, explanations, and analyses. And thanks, Found Magazine, for posting this find.
P.Sx1. m in chicago: I've lived in Schaumburg my entire life, and I know lots of people hate the suburb, but it's not too bad if you don't buy into all the hyped crap. You know, "Your city's a sucker. My city's a creep."
In other news, I call this place Shamburg.
To CRACKING KNUCKLES: You obviously are of post-Vatican II age. If you were pre-, as I am, you would know that liking oneself was a mortal sin. When you spend your first 12 years on the planet learning from nuns and priests how to self-loathe, believe me, it is deeply ingrained and VERY difficult to overcome.
That said, I think he (the little guy who hates himself) is HOT.
i think he has stinky armpits so he holds his arms realy close to him but everyone still knows.. so he hates himself.. how sad..
Am I the only one who finds the Geico caveman sort of hot?
Jo , sad day here.I don't really like the banter here but I'll explain how you're actually not a know it all. Blue Heaven is a nickname for where I live , and it WAS a sad day.Had nothing to do with trying to make myself feel better about being a meenie weenie or whatever.Don't tell me about form . My name is different here almost every day. Enough of this , I thought Rex was funny, comment section cops.
Amy Lazar- I also work in a library. And I love the patrons that other people think are weird.
That being said, I have to disagree with the part about it being an 'adventure' (I never thought it would happen, but I get bored after like 30 hrs at the library in one week haha)- and I have to add that it's often my COWORKERS, rather than our patrons, that are too weird for me to relate to! They make me feel SOOOOOO normal!
Mickey B --- I hear ya. Calling it an adventure was more sarcasm than truth (though I've had some interesting experiences there so far. Working there is a little different than just being a patron). My co-workers are pretty cool, though. And the "odd-ball" patrons add a little spice here and there.
It's not the most stimulating job, but the work environment at my library is very open and social, so that's cool.
Dear Sad Day/I don't Blame,
In my comment, I was talking directly to Rex. Taken in that context, I accused him of changing his screen name to brag on himself. It was not way to imply that YOU were mean nor trying to tell you about form. I am sorry you took it the wrong way.
I am not a know-it-all. Never claimed to be one. How that was implied by what I said, I do not know.
Cheers!
I am deeply madly and truely in love with Rex Winsome. I am constructing a shrine in his honor. Rex is like god of the found comments section and all should bow down to him.
Also, he's cute! Worthy of all kinds of face-sitting. So, you back the fuck off, bitch!
Okay Jo is totally lying. She knows EVERYTHING. Don't believe her denials.
Just because I feel like it, and this FOUND is postsecret esque, here's a secret:
Sometimes I wish I had kissed you that morning we made pancakes together. I bet you're a great kisser, and I would have liked to have that as a memory.
I said he was funny. This face sitting comment above is not from me.I was "sad day" and in reality, my name is Jo and that's no lie. Why don't you all just go IM each other .
i'm just trying to prove that if i'm going to conceal my identity i'll make it obvious (and self depricating) cuz if everyone knows I'm lying that's more honest than telling the truth even.
I knew the face-sitting comment was not from you. Rex is so snarky!
My real name isn't Jo and that is no lie. (really)
I am going to go IM my other Found Comment Friends and maybe have a laugh or two. I suggest you try the same.
i seem to be the only one who always thinks that these sort of things are drawn by someone else...a mean peer who is trying to make his friends laugh while doing research at the library...hes sposed to be quiet...so he has to draw it.
TRULY. not truley .Oooohh ,now I'm the spelling cop.Punctuation,anyone ?
QUOTE --- Sing in g while I clean said:
"Sometimes I wish I had kissed you that morning we made pancakes together. I bet you're a great kisser, and I would have liked to have that as a memory."
Hey, I like that . . .
OMG! That's *my* library! :D Did you find this DS in fiction, in children's, or upstairs in nonfic?
Hey, Kate the Short. I found the drawing upstairs at the computer terminals (the ones used only to search the library catalog). It was sitting in one of the paper trays there.
Are you a worker there, or just a regular patron?
Hey! I live in Schaumburg! I can't count the number of times I've been to that library. I can't say I've ever found anything, though. Now I'll be more inclined to search this summer :p
To paraphrase my betters on this site, "I think it's a drawing of a woman with small breasts. Do you think only men have well defined abs? And look at those lips. No, not those lips. This is so a woman."
@ Messygirl - Oddly enough, I DO find the Geico caveman strangely attractive...
@ODD Nick - Hahaha... it does kind of remind me of Todd from Scrubs with the leopard print.
@handle in Canada - Probably the most accurate professional analyzation (did I just make tha tword up... it's too early. Oh, ANALYSIS) of the find! I love it.
Frankly, I think the raccoon eyes, the leopard-print speedo, the incredibly defined abs, the styled hair, and chiseled jaw line lead me to believe that this man is finally realizing that it's not worth it to be so superficial and wants to change. He hates who he has become... A tanner, body showoff, work-outaholic, and vain to boot. But this doodle simply symbolizes that he has, at least on a subconscious level, realized he doesn't like who he is anymore and wants to change.
That or it is just a random doodle!
Is his/her hair always lookin' like that? Or is it just morning hair?