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January 04, 2007 |
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Karen's Guide
FOUND by Nancy
in Portland, Oregon
Found in the women's restroom at Mary's Club, an infamous and seamy strip joint. Karen wrote on her lovely stationary what I can only assume are burning questions she'd pose to a potential date. Question #1 is valid - married? Then a second important question - kids? But then after that - is she just looking for dates to concerts? You know& "ETC." The enigma is "Break-outs?"
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
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enigma = 'breakouts' = herpes or (STDs)?
Well, maybe she forgot to find the answers to these very vital questions in the past and is trying to save herself additionaly heartache. And she clearly doesn't want a to discover that she's dating a pimply man!
Perhaps one of her criteria is a man with flawless skin.
hmmm.
Break-outs? == zits?
?
what does it say after go with to ?
Hey, a breakout history (especially for herpes) is an important one to collect!
HA! Break-outs? HAHA! Maybe it is a better question than it seems at first. After a few years of marriage to an otherwise wonderful person, constant, massive break-outs would really get to you. And embarrass you in public. And what if they were catching?
spy, it says 'go with to concerts'
presumably she'd have to memorise the questions, you can't just pull out a checklist when someone asks you on a date. Well, you could, but it would make it all a bit paperwork-y…
From what I can see... maybe these are questions to her new potential employer, or maybe even a potential "client"...
If he's the kind of guy that takes a date to a seedy strip joint, asking about herpes outbreaks doesn't seem too unreasonable...
I'm voting that
A) She wrote break-outs, but she meant break-ups. Maybe she wants to know why he/she may have broken up with their last partner.
B) The "go to with concerts, etc" is probably just something she is goign to suggest if she likes the person.. you know, ideas on what they can do together. I know I always had trouble figuring that out. What do I suggest we do? I doubt they would want to come to my apartment & paint, like I'd normally want to do....
Perhaps Karen worked at the strip club and wrote a list of things to talk to the patrons about. Nothing worse than a long awkward silence during a lap dance, right? The only item I'm having trouble justifying is "break-outs", unless maybe she's trying to get them to upgrade to the Champagne Room.
These things are on my list too , as well as does he have a valid driver's license , has he been to rehab or jail , and how close is he to his family . I went on one date with a greek guy and his mom who I never met called me to ask how it went . Oh hell no !
i like the idea that she's made a checklist of things to talk about with her clients. i am a little worried about the "breakout" line item, but the bigger question is, where would she keep the list while working and does she make a new one everynight? what are those questions like?
Um Nancy? What were YOU doing at Mary's?
**raising eyebrows in provocative manner**
:))
My list use to just have 1. Job 2. smell okay. Now my self esteem has soared and I have a total of 16 items on my list. You must get 12 out of 16 to go out with me (75%)...uh...some items are pass or fail...like Male from Birth and Must have a bed. Karen needs something to boost her self esteem...but she's got a great list to start. Self love is the key to dating success.
Are these "deal breakers"? Married has got to be a pass/fail test. Kids...hmm...maybe Karen has a child. So more a topic or "things in common" kinda thing. But break-outs is pretty strange as a topic or a deal breaker.
She prob means break ups ...
Jess,
You're the first fellow Elm City-ite I've seen on here. Do I know you?
Yeah, I'm thinking herpes as well.
Buttercup, I'm still laughing at your comment to Nancy! Apparently you're the only one that even thought to ask that question!!!
Awesome!
hey buttercup- marylanders think alike. i thought the same thing!
Is Mary's the one with the kick-ass mexican restaurant attached to it? If so - the bathroom for both places is IN the strip club.
Let's hope Nancy is the custodian at said joint. HAHA!
Tink - if it is, that would make a lot more sense. The girl was on a date at the Mexican restaurant and left her notes in the restroom.
Tess - i'd love to hear all 16 requirements! Is unassisted breathing on there?
Tis a tragedy such chicken scratch that doesn't even make sense is wasted on very feminine lovely stationary. Kind of makes me wonder if she was a classy woman desperate in choosing such an enviornment and losing self esteem. Bringing the old honorable life in pieces seemingly clinging to that has no place in a tawdry cheap degrading to women, strip club. Ladies, you don't have to take off your clothes to survive!!!
Celeste, I was really hoping that you were going to quote Jermaine Stewart at the end of your post (as in, "you don't have to take your clothes off to have a good time...oh no"). Karen should certainly add that quote to her list of dating reminders.
prison break-outs?
I was also wondering too what Nancy was doing even before I read the comment, hehe..
My guess is that maybe someone she knew found it or perhaps a cross dresser who's new name is Nancy?? Who knows...
Wendy,
Here is my list, please use what you like:
1. Male from birth
2. age 32-52
3. Good looking (subjective I like a gappy smile)
4. well groomed
5. employed
6. some money
7. funny
8. likes sex exclusively with women and must have bed
9. smells good
10. initiates relationship
11. planner
12. dances
13. good health
14. intelligent
15. no criminal record (civil disobedience is okay).
16. ready for relationship.
Also, contrary to popular belief women who take their clothes off are usually in charge!
*cough*
1. Outgoing
2. intelligent
3. No awkward silences
4. good since of humor
5. Not a smartass
blah cant think of anything else.
To those who wondered what I was doing at the club, (especially the Marylanders – being a former MDer myself) you make me laugh! Not by any means a habitual strip-club patron, I was at Mary’s with an out-of-town friend momentarily taking in the eclectic atmosphere. It’s such a dive that it’s unreal. Courtney Love used to dance there and it’s just one of those things you do to cross it off of your “before I die” list. (And the experience resulted in a Found Magazine publishing!)
^^^^ awesome.
You know what I am thinking? Well whenever I write a letter to someone, I write out a list of things that I am going to talk about in the letter so I don't forget. Maybe she is writing to an old school friend or something, and is wondering if they can catch up some time, what is going on in their life, and I dunno, maybe they both used to get embarrassing break-outs or something?
It sounds to me like a list of questions to ask your future self. I remember in 9th grade we did that, and then in 12th grade we looked at them and laughed at what we thought was important at the time. It could also explain the concern about breakouts :P
That is so funny - my mum got me exactly that kind of note-paper a couple of years ago. Of course, it makes sense as I'm also named Karen - but never knew they made that sort of paper anywhere else int he world
OMG!!! We found KAREN!!!! (waves at Karen)
well... not THE Karen, unfortunately.
Wondering why a woman who goes to a strip-joint has got cute strawberry adorned note-paper.
What's that supposed to mean? Strippers love pretty things ... allegedly.
To me sounds like the owner of the strip joint or the person in charge of hiring wrote down a bunch of questions for a girl auditioning to work in the joint... these are questions an employer would ask (especially in that line of work: You need to know if she works somewhere else, if she has breakouts - and I'm thinking acne, not STDs necessarily, if she's married w/kids - liabilities, etc...)
So my mom has this very same stationary. Her name is even Karen. I was relieved to see the handwriting wasn't hers.