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January 01, 2007 |
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Marcia + Theron
FOUND by Anonymous
in California
Found this in a dumpster by my house. I really like Theron's use of metaphor, and I'm curious as to what he means by "hospital".
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
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What an amazing letter. And wonderful images. My instincts are that the "hospital" had something to do with Theron's mental health. Even though I think his mental state is as delicious as California would be!
i had to read this twice it was so funny; once to get the overall hilarity and twice to read in between the lines.
"hospital" ha! you can't make this stuff up folkes. good stuff good stuff.
what is the "California" he is referring to exactly and why is he slicing it up like a birthday cake??
What is "Californian VP" ?
my guess is he means an asylum.
Gross. What is this, the 1800s? Theron doesn't know the difference between love and an erection!
HAHA! I'm so confused by the whole slicing up California thing. What does it mean???
after reading it, i'm pretty sure "hospital" is a mental ward of some kind... he does have quite a knack for metaphors... very expressive
So many metaphors. Euphemisms...
Theron's a pretty unusual name. And I've never known a Marcia, either.
My lukewarm-fuzzies reaction at this note were, of course, instantly squashed by the 'anyways' and the 'at you service.' Jesus, am I really such a grammar nazi that I can't appreciate simple sweetness?
Apparently.
Thats awsome, I don't why, I just love it.
I love his metaphors. They just seem so fitting.
"California" seems to be a reference to Godfather pt. 2, in which the various gangsters are slicing up a cake of Cuba.
i'm jealous.
Well, after reading it again, I would add that if I were Marcia, I would stay away from Theron, in spite of his poetic finesse, because he also might kill me.
Maybe Theron occasionally refers to himself as "California"...possibly a nickname, and would like to give a piece of himself to Marcia for her own personal pleasure. That's one of my guesses. I love the cake metaphor and the word "Love" being capitalized. It's sweet in an odd way.
Love with a cursive "L" is True Love.
it sounds like a pixies song or something. I'd love to know if it ever reached Marcia on its way to the dumpster. Ihope it did.
We're all entitled to our opinion . I don't like it and I would not like Theron . The wording is all self important like " Heh heh , I'm so clever " when really it's awkward and creepyish . Ugh , and if Marsha is taken by this then they are better off together and out of the dating pool .
I know if I received a letter like this it would remain in my possession forever. Even if Theron was a total creep, I wouldn't allow the dumpster to take this rare creative burst addressed me.
This note could have been a love/erotic note to his wife, which might explain why there are some things that don't really make sense to us. He could be referring to things only they knew about. When he used the word "hospital", it could be in reference to their roleplaying, that Marcia was nurse, or something like that in their fantasy.
This appears to be a letter given to a Mistress by her “Submissive Patient.” He is worthless creep to her, she throws his letters away, tosses him aside, and spends the cash for the hour of trauma she was paid to “visit” him...
Hehee, such innuendo… I take it as funny/sweet rather than creepy, although 'hospital' in 'quotation marks' is truly 'mystifying'.
okay you guys, really, think about it. what does california vaguely (really vaguely) resemble? right, and if he's not literally slicing it, he is...you must have it now.
kudos to theron for his inspiring creativity!
Perhaps California is short for California rolls, a type of sushi.
the attraction was emmense, as evidenced by his dowsing rod. although not willing to give her the world he would gladly serve her a slice of california. perhaps a sunny metaphore for her surface beauty?
I dated a guy once, who wrote such notes. It took police intervention and about $10,000 to repair the damage of his "love" to my home and vehicle. My advice to Marcia is to run like the wind!
I don't get the fuzzy-wuzzies reading this. I get CREEPED OUT. This guy is CREEPY and WEIRD. Hope his "dowsing rod" doesn't find it's way to any more "water wells" because we don't need any more "mental patients" in this world!!!!!
OOOOH...I want my california with whipped cream...I'm getting my Nurse's uniform dry cleaned too!
This one was a real pant-pisser!! I'll be thinking about it all day . . . does Marcia work at the "hospital"??? Was she just visiting a friend or relative??? Is she crazy too???
I'll bet Theron's a poet - that would account for the creepyness, the crazy, and the awsome wordsmithing. I just wish the finder would have given more details so I could Google mental hospitals in the area.
The weird thing is that I know a Marcia that works at hospitals. Good thing she in no where near California!!
Run, Marcia, run! I know a bit about graphology and this makes the hair stand up on the back ofmy neck.
Hmmm... California has several Theron's & many Marcia's (maybe cause of Brady bunch??) BUT... "hospital" -Could that be "jail"? or "Prison?" Although how she was supposed to notice the dowsing rod's aim in a place like that sort of has me puzzled!
--And mostly, when I've heard about California being "cut up", it's being 'cut' into new/different political/Congressional districts -- but I don't think this guy is a Politico...
(and I think he is kinda creepy... glad I'm not Marcia!)
He says he was "interned" at the hospital, so he probably isn't a patient (mental or not).
And maybe he's a realator, plotting housing developments on a map or something. (He says he's at the drawing board)
My first thought was that he was a snowboarder, carvin' up the slopes, but other phrases kinda rule that out.
maybe when he interned at the "hospital", he was an intern on "general hospital" that makes sense. he is an artsy film type.
This does give me the heeby jeebies, although I do like the bit about cutting up California makes me think he wants to take her on a date or something.
I'm surprised so many people found this note charming. The whole divining rod/water well thing just makes me shudder. Clearly he is a mentally unstable hippie... I can't think of anything more creepy or yucky! I find some sort of solace in the fact that this letter wasn't written to me. Oh how lucky I feel.
Hm... You know how people give their 'private areas' names? Perhaps California is... Ohdear. Well, you get the idea. What a way to word it, if in fact I am correct.
However I will have to agree with Steve in Boston !
i think the guy is probably on a psych ward or similar. i hope he has found love.
folks should try being a little bit less judgemental. i in 3 adults suffers from a mental health issue at some point in their lives. it does not makes them "crazy" & we no longer have " asylums". to the person who thinks " the world doesn't need anymore more mental patients". i think what the world could really do without is people with a total lack of compassion.
hope you're happy theron
Everyone: a dowsing rod is an ancient form of communicating with the dead. It is a copper tube and wire formed into an 'L' shape. It swivel and supposedly communicates messages from beyond. The waterwell is a sexual reference I'm sure. Either way this guy is coconuts!
Not an asylum - prison.
I used to run a singles group, and we got a lot of letters from prisoners. This letter has the same strange stilted language and sexual desperation.
Wow. I agree with Lyn: definitely sounds like a note from prison.
Maybe the visit to the hospital implies that they were playing 'doctor'
It just sounds like he's trying too hard to not just say 'hey, lets have sex'.
I will slice all of you a piece of California
A wish for your wells,
mop up carefully after-wards.
Salutes
why does found keep recycling oldies on the front page :o
A few things...
So... where is everyone? Don't get me wrong, it's cool to see all these unfamiliar names, but whither all the locals? ... Was there a Rapture or something?? Burned out after these last few days, perhaps. Hopefully just laying low. Too many margaritas? Too much pills n booze? Come home my friends! Stay away from the light!
Also, I love the Dowsing rod/ Water well reference. Creepy, yes, but I would totally keep that note too. I might change my number and/ or move out of state, but yeah, I'd hold onto a note like that:-)
Also, Theron (wicked cool name, by the way) knows it's ALL about service:-)) Though slicing up Cali for her personal pleasure is a little over the top. EEK!
@ wombat, I just got what you meant. This is silly. Hope your day is good, though.
"I'd like to serve you a piece for your personal pleasure" is a fantastic line! hahaha... This is the kind of stuff my boyfriend would say to me when he's mocking guys who try to be suave and sexy but just fail miserably... This kind of attitude toward sex is fantastic - what would it be without some fun?!
"...evidenced by the fact that my Dowsing Rod pointed toward your Water Well..." Holy Crap that's just GENIUS! hahaha...
What if...Theron is doing an internship at an architecture/land surveying/engineering firm. All his co-workers are nuts, so he and Marcia refer to the place as the "hospital" like an inside joke. And the dowsing rod is a drafting tool and the water well is a map or picture in a map?? I know its a stretch, but possibly this could work as an explanation?
I just hate to attribute "crazy" and "creepiness" to someone who is so open and pure that he can fall in love in just a few hours. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.
i thought it said 'diving board' instead of 'drawing board' at first, and really didn't think anything of it. sometimes i zone out, obviously. i love this too. i really thought he meant he was in California and wanted to send her some, y'know? not a sex thing. but that's just me (and i'm usually a bit dirty minded too). but the 'personal pleasure' thing...hmm. i can't decide! anyway...i love this. he is a metaphor genius. *applause*
I'm the original finder of this gem. Found it in San Luis Obispo. Turns out, Theron lived a few doors down from me for a while, but I never knew it (or him). I think he recently moved out.