"Front" in French means "forehead." And "frente" in Spanish means forehead. It's a natural mistake if English isn't your first language.…  more»

I've found it much more effective to just go. No note, no explanations, just leave. They'll realise you're gone, eventually, but by that time you'll be well down the new road.…  more»

Librarian, that makes two things I like about you already. Do you know of http://vegweb.com? Very helpful resource, the site is technically vegan but there are a lot of non-vegan veggie peoples there.  more»

Jelly is strained clear fruit jam. Jam is not clear and may have small pieces of fruit. Preserves has whole fruit in it (strawberries, raspberries) or large chunks (peaches, plums).…  more»

So, how many colomiders in a leader?  more»

I always hated problems like this. This one is almost as bad as the one about the goat, the cabbage and the wolf and only 2 will fit in the boat at the same time and how many trips do you have to make to ensure none of them gets eaten by the others?

My response, always: WHO CARES????…  more»

"What is hamburger helper" is a perfectly legitimate question for those who live outside the US and have never been subjected to their "home cooked meals" in boxes. Since no one deigned to answer Cookie, I will say that HH is pasta or rice or both in a box, with a seasoning envelope. You loose-fry minced beef (hamburger in the US, mince in the UK and other places), add the pasta or rice and the flavouring packet, and some water, and let it simmer until everything is tender.…  more»

Cheaper European TP certainly will stand up to your common or garden ballpoint...it's rather like wrapping paper. Unless you get the fun Spanish/Italian kind that's basically crepe paper.…  more»

@apparently invisible: wossa "gingerkid"? You got something against redheads?  more»

I miss having a swing around. I grew up next to a park with swings from baby-safe swings to others strong enough for adults. I dream of having my own house with a yard and comissioning someone to build me a sturdy swing.…  more»

There ain't no free lunch...indeed a lot of things that purport to be "free" turn out to be a lot of work. And money.…  more»

Yes, Jonathan, the Reverse-V goes back to the Middle Ages. The English longbow was the WMD of the day because it could shoot farther than the short bows other countries were using and they worked at being crack shots, too. So the French would cut the first two fingers off the right hand of any English bowmen they captured; that way they could no longer hold an arrow.…  more»

Once again, the glories of the inside joke, and/or running gag! We will never know but it's fun to sit around and make up scenarios!

The platypus is one of my favourite animals.…  more»

Vill. in: It's "cakehole". Or "pie hole" if you happen to be British.…  more»

A pox o'your throat, you bold, blasphemous, uncircumcised dog!

Shakespeare said it best. You want some round, sonorous insults, read "The Tempest" and look for Caliban's part.…  more»

The word is "asswhole." As in the whole ass.
Not another parking-note week!  more»

@Always wondering: am I the only person on earth who keeps expecting to see Christopher Walken lick his eyeballs?

OK, maybe I am.

Never mind.  more»

Clover, you crack me up.
As for the find, meh. Ancient jokes never die, they just show up again and again.…  more»

Talk about thumb-wrestling's secret weapon!

My cowgirl name would be Petaluma Polly. I have no idea where Petaluma is but it smacks of dust and chaps and campfires.…  more»

"Intent to writing"-- is that anything like intent to kill? I remember a charge that often appeared in our local newspaper, but was never elaborated upon: "Loitering with intent." I suppose they meant "on the up in case there was something worth stealing/vandalising".…  more»

CRAP! That should read "Affects" me the same way.  more»

Medication can be the answer, but isn't always. It's just so easy to snap-diagnose and hand out the pills for a quick-fix. Sometimes the problem is outside the child, or environmental.…  more»

Guinea Pigs have nothing to do with Pigs, being rodents...and nothing to do with Guinea fowl, either. They neither lay eggs nor emit annoying noises that sound like, "Quebec!…  more»

Freonz, I totally grok that! Just mention the word "penguins" and apparently you get a startled look from me followed by a 2 second pause and then, "Wait--what?" and a totally new topic.  more»

@Lizzy B--don't forget my personal 80's favourite: "Gross me dead!"  more»