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Lizzy B in the Parlor with an Axe

About Me: I am a Christian wife and mother. I have a heart for the Father and the soul of an artist. My greatest passion is singing praises to the King in worship. I love to read and write poetry. I love movies, music of many types, and taking adventurous joy rides to almost anywhere, with my husband and my two little girls. Regarding my moniker, I identify with Lizzie Borden because first, I also was born and raised in Massachusetts, and second, I, like she, am also often grossly misunderstood.



Comments

Good Fruit and Secrets
I believe the author of the list is referring to a product called "Soup Secrets" by Lipton. They are packets of dried soup mix than are blended with hot water to make a cup of soup for lunch or a snack. Sounds like this person probably works some type of office job, and is stocking up on healthy foods to bring in her bag lunch.…  more»
+ July 19, 2008 06:40 AM +
Kitty
What are those strange javelin-like objects leaning against the door frame? One of them appears to have some sort of colorful tribal streamers tied to the tip. Also, and this is just a chick opinion, she is really too thick in the middle to pull off the latex/leather top on this outfit.…  more»
+ June 14, 2008 07:26 AM +
Return of the Legend of Zelda
@Phoebe Muse....omg, sorry I didn't see you already had the same idea for giving the b/f a pictoral Christmas or Birthday wish list. Guess I wasn't too original on that one.…  more»
+ June 07, 2008 05:13 AM +
@ Mona Lisa...It does look like one of the gems in Bejewelled, my husband's favorite mindless passtime. In my youthful days, a "Zelda" was an ugly girl, and a "Betty" was a good looking girl.…  more»
+ June 07, 2008 05:06 AM +
Sir You Stink
There used to be this old gentleman who volunteered at a nursing home where I worked. His wife was a resident there, and every morning he would help the activities director pass out the mail to the residents and greet them kindly when he came into their rooms. He had terrible B.O.…  more»
+ May 29, 2008 05:56 AM +
Big Axe Stick
LOL when I first read this I thought it said "rests with hoods". The big axe stick is for me. I broke it chopping some, er, hard 'wood', yes that's it.…  more»
+ May 26, 2008 06:37 AM +
Dinner Plans
whoops, "their" should have been "there".  more»
+ May 24, 2008 04:42 AM +
@Pamplona and 8th grade teacher:
The scrunched up tube socks are to provide bottom balance to counteract the waitresses' top-heavy stance. Inside the crunched up tube socks is ballast comprised of balled up pieces of paper upon which are written every cheap and un-original insult, barb, and comment about their big "hooters" by every male patron since that waitress began working their. You can tell the new girls...they…  more»
+ May 24, 2008 04:41 AM +
SHARE YOUR POPSICLE
Ahhh, the virtues taught our children in Sunday school. One day not too long ago, as my husband came to the classroom to pick up our six year old, her teacher called him aside and asked him, "do you use the word 'fart' in your house?" LOL He embarassingly replied yes, knowing that this lady was a savvy gal who would understand.…  more»
+ May 16, 2008 05:14 AM +
Groshery Lissed
My six year old can spell better than this person. How very sad. My husband is a poor speller as well.…  more»
+ May 14, 2008 04:05 PM +
Regrets
I thought I'd apologize for being an indiscriminate, inarticulate, insulting boob.

I'm guessing this means I'll be in your spam folder from now on.  more»
+ May 05, 2008 03:12 PM +
And Again Those Eyes
We just sold our 1992 Vulva wagon. I'm gonna miss that car. Very reliable, but high mileage.…  more»
+ May 02, 2008 03:28 PM +
@Smallbear. I myself was merely referring to the gentleman (assuming that he is) in our tale as "Mr. Creepy" as a means of identification as I drew out my possible scenarios.…  more»
+ May 02, 2008 07:28 AM +
I must admit I've been wondering about the sequence of this story. Was seller of the used book on Amazon the person to whom the note was written? Or, was Mr.…  more»
+ May 01, 2008 12:00 PM +
"I sat in front of you and appreciated your loveliness..." Does this person have eyes in the back of their head? I thought only my mother had those!…  more»
+ May 01, 2008 05:47 AM +
Bitch Bag
<sigh> okay, I feel almost obligated to play before this thread dies out..
Contents of my <er> b***ch bag:
wallet
keys to a volvo, a pickup, and a mini van
two cell phones (one is for work)
a mini version of my entire medicine cabinet
small makeup bag
two pantishields and a maxi pad
Burt's Bees peppermint lip balm (in the tube)
Curel hand lotion
Hand sanitizer (i'm a nurse..trust me, you should carry this stuff!!)…  more»
+ April 26, 2008 05:57 AM +
I agree, Tired. Bitch bag is an awesome term! It reminds me of the endless list of other such one-liner expletives from the '80s...…  more»
+ April 25, 2008 07:35 AM +
Bad Regina
Umm, I'm a little confused. Ditto to what eco asked, "who is Regina, and why is she so bad?" Does this have to do with the other side of the note we can't read?…  more»
+ April 19, 2008 06:34 AM +
An Evening Alone
It would seem that wart removing by candlelight is not a safe practice. Perhaps this poor soul wishes to hide their warty shame in the dim light of denial. And, by the way, when the wart falls off, how will they find it in such poor lighting?…  more»
+ April 17, 2008 08:23 AM +
Teeth
They most certainly must be British.  more»
+ April 17, 2008 08:11 AM +











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